RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most guys who coach soccer have zero empathy for someone on a B team because they've never been that guy. They are where they are today because they were always the best player in their club growing up. I bet most of them have trouble fathoming why anyone would even be on a B team.

Never thought about it that way but you may just be right. Sure explains a lot although it doesn’t explain why being a good athlete precludes any kind of emotional IQ.

Being a top athlete seems to require an emotional detachment and outsized ego. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just an observation.

You clearly were never a top athlete.

Most coaches were not the top players. Many top athletes make horrible coaches because they do not understand why everyone can not do what they did. Also the times have changed. Someone who played 15 years ago or more really does not understand the current system.

This response has zero to do with the post directly above.

That's OK -- the quote directly above had nothing to do with anything. Also, it generalized about the way "top athletes" approach things.

Having interviewed a couple hundred top athletes over the years, I can tell you there's no broad brush that captures all of them. Maybe not even half. Some are completely Zen. Some latch onto the slightest perceived insult as motivation. Some make their living with skills. Some make it with the mentality that they'd elbow their own grandma to get the ball or puck.

Some have a great attitude as they become parents. They encourage their kids to pick up their sports -- or not. Some look bac8k on their past with humility and gratitude for the opportunities they received.

And some come onto an anonymous message board to brag about past glories.

That's funny. Your post above absolutely generalized top athletes as being emotionally detached and egotistical. I'm aware that there is no broad brush that captures all of them which was exactly my original point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our sons played Alexandria silver and black (the lower two teams) for a few years. They had several very good coaches, and some good teammates. The problem is that there were some kids on the team whose parents paid for travel, and then didn't make or expect the kids to show up to games or practices. It wasn't an issue of talent, and I don't think it was ASA's fault, really. It may be because there are a lot of rich people in Alexandria who don't care about wasting money on something their kid isn't fully committed to.

Absolutely any club that accepts this behavior deserves blame for not managing the situation. If kids don’t come to practice or games, they sit the next game they show up. If they miss x games unexcused, they are off the team. Use guest players as subs if needed because players will be sitting.

Way to punish the kid for their parent's failure to drive them to practice and games!

This is an issue for our third team and to a lesser extent our second team as well.

Learning starts at home . When you agree to play for the team you become a part of it practices and games. If its the parents not getting them their its their fault. Don't commit if you can't deliver. Its the parents that are raising the kid to think its ok to miss appointments in the future . They are learning its ok to let their teammates and coaches down. Wait til they grow up and miss work and think its ok and wonder why they were fired. Start teaching them and raising them to follow thru with any commitments they have outside of occasional emergencies. If you can't commit to a team don't join one.

Yeah so again. Way to punish the kid for the parents failure. Or maybe there are other things going on that you are unaware of. Maybe the Parent's work schedule changed after they made the commitment and cant always get the kid there on time. Maybe there is a language barrier and the parent doesn't understand the difference between game start time and warmup start time (I suspect this is an issue for a kid on one of our lower teams). Show some compassion.

“Maybe there is a language barrier and the parent doesn't understand the difference between game start time and warmup start time ”. — this is possibly the worst excuse I’ve ever heard. If someone is living here and has a child and can’t decipher time of day and simple directions, but could pay the travel fee in the first place ... yeah, rrriiiiggghhtt ...

You assume there arent scholarships available...
And yes, the parents dont seem to understand a word of English. Trying to communicate with this family took a lot of Google translate and recalling high school foreign language. But again. Compassion. It's a thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our sons played Alexandria silver and black (the lower two teams) for a few years. They had several very good coaches, and some good teammates. The problem is that there were some kids on the team whose parents paid for travel, and then didn't make or expect the kids to show up to games or practices. It wasn't an issue of talent, and I don't think it was ASA's fault, really. It may be because there are a lot of rich people in Alexandria who don't care about wasting money on something their kid isn't fully committed to.

Absolutely any club that accepts this behavior deserves blame for not managing the situation. If kids don’t come to practice or games, they sit the next game they show up. If they miss x games unexcused, they are off the team. Use guest players as subs if needed because players will be sitting.

Way to punish the kid for their parent's failure to drive them to practice and games!

This is an issue for our third team and to a lesser extent our second team as well.

Learning starts at home . When you agree to play for the team you become a part of it practices and games. If its the parents not getting them their its their fault. Don't commit if you can't deliver. Its the parents that are raising the kid to think its ok to miss appointments in the future . They are learning its ok to let their teammates and coaches down. Wait til they grow up and miss work and think its ok and wonder why they were fired. Start teaching them and raising them to follow thru with any commitments they have outside of occasional emergencies. If you can't commit to a team don't join one.

Yeah so again. Way to punish the kid for the parents failure. Or maybe there are other things going on that you are unaware of. Maybe the Parent's work schedule changed after they made the commitment and cant always get the kid there on time. Maybe there is a language barrier and the parent doesn't understand the difference between game start time and warmup start time (I suspect this is an issue for a kid on one of our lower teams). Show some compassion.

“Maybe there is a language barrier and the parent doesn't understand the difference between game start time and warmup start time ”. — this is possibly the worst excuse I’ve ever heard. If someone is living here and has a child and can’t decipher time of day and simple directions, but could pay the travel fee in the first place ... yeah, rrriiiiggghhtt ...

Yeah so again. Way to punish the kid for the parents failure. Or maybe there are other things going on that you are unaware of.

Eh, I don't view it as punishing the kid who is late or doesn't show up. I view it as NOT punishing the teammates who have to carry the game without subs or play a position that is wrong for them because the kid isn't there. One of the better players on our team has a hard life and a crazy mom, and I feel sorry for him, but he has missed 2/3 of our games, even with multiple other players offering to drive him there. It's rough, but this is a team sport, and maybe travel soccer just can't work for him now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our sons played Alexandria silver and black (the lower two teams) for a few years. They had several very good coaches, and some good teammates. The problem is that there were some kids on the team whose parents paid for travel, and then didn't make or expect the kids to show up to games or practices. It wasn't an issue of talent, and I don't think it was ASA's fault, really. It may be because there are a lot of rich people in Alexandria who don't care about wasting money on something their kid isn't fully committed to.

Absolutely any club that accepts this behavior deserves blame for not managing the situation. If kids don’t come to practice or games, they sit the next game they show up. If they miss x games unexcused, they are off the team. Use guest players as subs if needed because players will be sitting.

Way to punish the kid for their parent's failure to drive them to practice and games!

This is an issue for our third team and to a lesser extent our second team as well.

Learning starts at home . When you agree to play for the team you become a part of it practices and games. If its the parents not getting them their its their fault. Don't commit if you can't deliver. Its the parents that are raising the kid to think its ok to miss appointments in the future . They are learning its ok to let their teammates and coaches down. Wait til they grow up and miss work and think its ok and wonder why they were fired. Start teaching them and raising them to follow thru with any commitments they have outside of occasional emergencies. If you can't commit to a team don't join one.

Yeah so again. Way to punish the kid for the parents failure. Or maybe there are other things going on that you are unaware of. Maybe the Parent's work schedule changed after they made the commitment and cant always get the kid there on time. Maybe there is a language barrier and the parent doesn't understand the difference between game start time and warmup start time (I suspect this is an issue for a kid on one of our lower teams). Show some compassion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most guys who coach soccer have zero empathy for someone on a B team because they've never been that guy. They are where they are today because they were always the best player in their club growing up. I bet most of them have trouble fathoming why anyone would even be on a B team.

Never thought about it that way but you may just be right. Sure explains a lot although it doesn’t explain why being a good athlete precludes any kind of emotional IQ.

Being a top athlete seems to require an emotional detachment and outsized ego. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just an observation.

You clearly were never a top athlete.

Most coaches were not the top players. Many top athletes make horrible coaches because they do not understand why everyone can not do what they did. Also the times have changed. Someone who played 15 years ago or more really does not understand the current system.

This response has zero to do with the post directly above.

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was about to say something similar. If these coaches had been such great players they likely wouldn't be coaching youth soccer now.

So tell me, what are the career options for a washed-up soccer player in the US? Even a very good one.

I guess this assumes that the washed-up soccer player had no other experiences or interests in life.

To build on your point ...

Jordan Cila was a VP at Goldman Sachs but moved to another firm.

Scott Garlick is in commercial real estate.

Josh Lambo is a placekicker for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Jeff Causey is a wealth management advisor who also coaches U-Littles.

Eddie Pope is the director of the North American soccer division at Octagon.

And Carin Gabarra is the longtime coach at Navy.

Jordan Cila! Haven't heard that name in probably 15 years. I first met him in the 90s in ODP when he was on one of the youth national teams, and we were friends at Duke. We absolutely rolled intramural soccer together . Amazing that Rennie let him play...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most guys who coach soccer have zero empathy for someone on a B team because they've never been that guy. They are where they are today because they were always the best player in their club growing up. I bet most of them have trouble fathoming why anyone would even be on a B team.

Never thought about it that way but you may just be right. Sure explains a lot although it doesn’t explain why being a good athlete precludes any kind of emotional IQ.

Being a top athlete seems to require an emotional detachment and outsized ego. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just an observation.

You clearly were never a top athlete.

Most coaches were not the top players. Many top athletes make horrible coaches because they do not understand why everyone can not do what they did. Also the times have changed. Someone who played 15 years ago or more really does not understand the current system.

The wall between rec and travel is so absurd. Different leagues have different rules. Just let rec players fill in.


The ODSL rules do let rec players fill in - they just need a birth certificate or player card, and they need someone to give them the correct ASA jersey (home or away) to borrow. So you need to find a rec player at the last minute who feels like driving out to Leesburg to play, has a birth certificate handy, and someone to lend them the correct jersey. It is a PITA and often does not work out.

And aside from the occasional one-time "tryout" on a weekend with no SFL games, you can't play in a travel league without giving up your SFL eligibility.

So, basically, unless you're in an SFL holdout club like Vienna or Arlington, you can't do it.

Which is silly.

Ah, my kid is in 5th grade so there are rec options other than SFL. That ends at 6th where we are.

I don't think it was just a $$ issue. Surprisingly, people were not lining up around the block to guest play for the bottom two Alexandria teams. Rec players needs a player card or birth certificate, and kids on higher level teams at lower age groups had their own games. The supply of guest players was lean.


The wall between rec and travel is so absurd. Different leagues have different rules. Just let rec players fill in.

The ODSL rules do let rec players fill in - they just need a birth certificate or player card, and they need someone to give them the correct ASA jersey (home or away) to borrow. So you need to find a rec player at the last minute who feels like driving out to Leesburg to play, has a birth certificate handy, and someone to lend them the correct jersey. It is a PITA and often does not work out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our sons played Alexandria silver and black (the lower two teams) for a few years. They had several very good coaches, and some good teammates. The problem is that there were some kids on the team whose parents paid for travel, and then didn't make or expect the kids to show up to games or practices. It wasn't an issue of talent, and I don't think it was ASA's fault, really. It may be because there are a lot of rich people in Alexandria who don't care about wasting money on something their kid isn't fully committed to.

Absolutely any club that accepts this behavior deserves blame for not managing the situation. If kids don’t come to practice or games, they sit the next game they show up. If they miss x games unexcused, they are off the team. Use guest players as subs if needed because players will be sitting.

Way to punish the kid for their parent's failure to drive them to practice and games!

This is an issue for our third team and to a lesser extent our second team as well.

Learning starts at home . When you agree to play for the team you become a part of it practices and games. If its the parents not getting them their its their fault. Don't commit if you can't deliver. Its the parents that are raising the kid to think its ok to miss appointments in the future . They are learning its ok to let their teammates and coaches down. Wait til they grow up and miss work and think its ok and wonder why they were fired. Start teaching them and raising them to follow thru with any commitments they have outside of occasional emergencies. If you can't commit to a team don't join one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our sons played Alexandria silver and black (the lower two teams) for a few years. They had several very good coaches, and some good teammates. The problem is that there were some kids on the team whose parents paid for travel, and then didn't make or expect the kids to show up to games or practices. It wasn't an issue of talent, and I don't think it was ASA's fault, really. It may be because there are a lot of rich people in Alexandria who don't care about wasting money on something their kid isn't fully committed to.

Absolutely any club that accepts this behavior deserves blame for not managing the situation. If kids don’t come to practice or games, they sit the next game they show up. If they miss x games unexcused, they are off the team. Use guest players as subs if needed because players will be sitting.

Way to punish the kid for their parent's failure to drive them to practice and games!

This is an issue for our third team and to a lesser extent our second team as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most guys who coach soccer have zero empathy for someone on a B team because they've never been that guy. They are where they are today because they were always the best player in their club growing up. I bet most of them have trouble fathoming why anyone would even be on a B team.

Never thought about it that way but you may just be right. Sure explains a lot although it doesn’t explain why being a good athlete precludes any kind of emotional IQ.

Being a top athlete seems to require an emotional detachment and outsized ego. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just an observation.

You clearly were never a top athlete.

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

The wall between rec and travel is so absurd. Different leagues have different rules. Just let rec players fill in.


.

The clubs need to justify that travel costs ten times as much. If rec kids are routinely subbing in it's easy for the travel parents to start wondering what they're getting for their money.

Anonymous wrote:Would someone please share some names of smaller boy clubs where you have had good experiences.

We're having a great experience at MSI Academy, though we only have one Academy team in our age group. I've heard from parents however where they have two teams some of the kids aren't even aware that Green and White are "ranked" differently -- that's how not-differently the two teams are treated.

In VA I've heard good things about PAC (I think? Unless I'm getting my acronym wrong lol) Can someone more knowledgeable verify?

We're probably not headed to D1 and certainly not going pro, but we're very competitive in our NCSL division and the boys seem to be happy, well-adjusted athletes and humans, who remain dedicated to the sport. (Zero attrition at the end of this season... Rumor is that MSI academy teams have excellent retention rates, though I doubt that can be verified.)

Good luck!