^ each summer

Anonymous wrote:because a strong marriage is the key to a strong, happy family.

+1. The marriage is the foundation for the family. It's good for the kids to see that we want to spend quality time with just each other, and it's a bonding time when the kids are with their grandparents while we are away . It helps them to create memories together. I spent a week or two at a time at my grandparents' house growing up, without my parents, and they are some of my happiest childhood memories. My grandparents and I became very close as a result.

Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.

Because there are things I enjoy, and want to do, that my kids don't want to do, or aren't appropriate for them. And I see no reason why my spouse and I should have to wait 15 years to go wine tasting in Napa, for example.

Our kids stay with their grandparents, and all parties involved love the arrangements.

So, let me ask you - what is difficult to understand about this? Do you have a hard time interacting with your spouse if your kids aren't present? Do you need the kids as a buffer?

Well I usually don’t vacation with DH alone but I don’t think I am better than anyone who does, lol.
To each his own and everyone should do what they enjoy. For whatever reason I have set my limit at one weekend away per year. I have gone to out of town weddings with DH at least 2x, a wknd away for DH’s 40th bday, a bachelorette party, college reunions, and girls / moms weekends.

I did try to travel before kids, I do try to be a little adventurous in travel with them, and I do plan to travel more when they leave the house. My grandfather passed away when my mom was in college, and after he died my grandmother never remarried but traveled the WORLD. I like to think I caught the travel bug from her.

I love family vacations - and it’s what I grew up doing including beach vacations with my whole extended family. DH and I both work (I work 20-30 hours a week), and I feel like our family vacations are a way I like to disconnect from work & other obligations, & connect and spend time with my family. I hope when my kids are adults I can pay for a big beach house for a one week vacation with them all over the summer too. Sometimes on a beach vacation with my family now, DH and I will ask my parents to watch the kids & grab one fancy dinner out or whatever.

Travel with kids isn’t always but it is one my hobbies / favorite things to do, so we did it anyway, learned from our mistakes, and it continues to improve. I would say I enjoy it

This all being said if my 3 kids end up at sleepaway camp at the same time I would go on a trip with DH. Not gonna happen any time soon yet.

My dh and I are happily married and take a vacation without the kids every few years. The op and others judging this thread are either insecure or jealous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My entire idea of a vacation is to enjoy stress-free time with my kids and husband, all together.

There is no such thing as stress-free time with kids under 2. Luckily I have local grandparents so we have both kinds of vacations.

I find our family vacations fantastic. You need to adjust your expectations for vacations with kids.

The notion that you can't do both is ridiculous. We have gone biking as a family in Italy, and my spouse and I have spent 5 days in Paris with no kids. Why do we have to choose?

I wish a had two more kids to have fun with during our vacation trips.

... so you can f*ck a lot.

/thread

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most families do both....and it’s healthy for a marriage.

Most families do NOT do both. I think it would be nice to get away without kids, but it’s not common.

Are you saying most people don’t get a kid free vacation? Or are you saying people only have kid free vacations?

Most people I know get a kid free vacation at least every other year. Grandparents, nannies or close family/ friends watch the kids. I think the divorce rate would be a lot lower if everyone had the vacation with their spouse yearly.

PP here. I meant that most people do not get a kid-free vacation. It’s seems like a luxury and not common. Most people (in my world) just don’t want to leave their kids that long and don’t have grandparents to take care of young ones.

NP and I agree with you, it's definitely a luxury. Most people do not have nannies or able bodied grandparents who can handle the kids for an adults only vacation.

Anonymous wrote:Because I have teens and they are killing me. DH works long hours and travels, I have no help and no family nearby.

Honestly my first option is that I would like to vacation by myself. My second option would with DH even though I'm crazy about him, because I'm just so tired I don't want to cater to anyone's needs for a couple of days.

+1.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience these couples end up divorced. I always view it as a sign of weakness. I don't need to go far away to reconnect with DH.

LOL then I guess we're weak. So so weak. I'm feeling weak again, guess we better sneak off for some hotel sex and Michelin-starred food to reinforce our crumbling marriage.

+1! Having weak-marriage vacations is a lot of fun...

Anonymous wrote:In my experience these couples end up divorced. I always view it as a sign of weakness. I don't need to go far away to reconnect with DH.

Ha! I’m the opposite. Full pity for couples who can’t do anything without their children.

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get it either.

We actually love vacations and travel, but we take our kids. Almost always. We want them to have the same experiences that we do, and childhood is so short.

Ours are in their late teens.

We have also taken them to resorts that have programs for children. That's a great compromise. We took them to Hawaii a few times and they loved it.
They have these at other price points to. I think it's a good compromise.

They are in their late teens now. We did go abroad without them - now I wish we took them.
My husband and I will have 30 or 40 years to travel alone.

Parenthood - the really together and close part where kids are always excited about any travel plans that you make lasts about 15 years.

That said, I don't think that a child will be scarred for life if you take one vacation when they are eight or nine.

We never really wanted to leave them with anyone. Aunts uncles and grandparents are not primary care givers. They are people we see on holidays once in a while.
That's it.

How are you going to have 30 years? How old are your kids and you? I'm watching my parents and inlaws and as they come close to 65 and over the health declines (even for active people) and they become more homedody and just can't do the fun hiking and active vacations anymore.

We take at least one kid free vacation a year now that my kids go to overnight camp (we don't have grandparents that can take the kids). And last year I started doing solo vacations with a travel group I joined. And we do several family vacations all together. It makes for a very well rounded and happy family life.

because bringing my young kids on vacation is a severe waste of money. after a day, they start complaining and want to go home- want their bed, their food, their tv, their toys. They truly do not appreciate being away from home. Therefore, it becomes miserable for everyone.

And newsflash- parents are allowed to have their own interests outside their children