Anonymous wrote:Parenting them doesn't mean controlling them. It means teaching them to make good decisions. If they insist on sweatpants, and are hot, they probably won't do it again.

Whereas telling them what to wear every day means kids who can't make good decisions because they've never been empowered to make any that matter.

So you go ahead and call people lazy. Good luck when your child rebels against all of your controlling ways.

So if your kid wants to stay up all night playing video games you’ll let them because you don’t control them? Or leave food to rot in their rooms? Or stay outside playing all night? Ride a bike without a helmet? Where’s the line? Or do you only slack on parenting when other people have to help your child deal with the consequences?

My DD had a sweatshirt on this morning because her classroom is freezing and she's miserable all day in just a tshirt. Also, because I'm trying to teach her to be a responsible adult, and if she wants to wear a sweatshit when it's 80 degrees outside, that's fine with me. Sure, if it's 100 degrees we'll have a different conversation. Likewise, when DS wears shorts when it's 50 degrees it's his legs and his lessons. But of course I wouldn't let him wear them when it's snowing.

I don't believe for one second what the "teacher" above posted that there were actually kids in the health room yesterday because they were playing in pants and long shirts. It was certainly hot enough for shorts, but it wasn't *that* hot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher and instead of lecturing parents on clothes, I’d rather all of you buy deodorant for your kids. Many need it sooner than you think.

I understand. Kids are odd. They wore shorts all winter now they want to wear pants and long sleeves. My own DS insisted on summer clothes when it was freezing now he wants to wear his favorite hoodie every day. Fine, but he’s wearing deodorant. Yes, he’s in elementary school and needs it.

My 4th grader has been wearing it for a year and a half. It only took me smelling his armpits a couple of times to realize that he needed it.

I have a 4th grader. He showers every day. That's ia bit extreme and maybe you should bathe your kid more. That's not normal at 4th in less you held your kid back a year or two so they can be the oldest and "leaders - i.e. bullies."

Before you base your whole world view about what's normal based JUST on your kid perhaps talk to a pediatrician. Why do you assume he doesn't shower every day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how all of these lazy parents claim “they don’t fight their children” when it comes to clothing. I read that, “im too lazy to be bothered with what my child is going to experience all day.” It is your job to parent them and that means directing them to seasonally appropriate clothing. If they were fully developed, rational beings they wouldn’t need us.

They will keep needing you if you make every decision for them. And then they will have anxiety because you raised them to believe they can't make their own decisions.

Try again. My child and I look at the weather app together every morning and talk about what he should wear. He is in 4th grade. We do not have battles about clothes because we've overcome a power struggle when he was 2 and 3. If you're still having to do this with your upper elementary aged kid, you need to re-evaluate.

By fourth grade, a child shouldn't need you to look at the app with him and decide on what to wear. He can do that himself.

I look at it for my sake too genius, plus he doesn't have a phone so how exactly is he supposed to look at it. But yeah, rush to being ugly. that's always the best response, right.

I tell my kids the temperature in the morning, what it will be at recess, and what it will be when school is out. They like to make their own decisions despite my suggestions of what to wear.

Yeah, I don't dress my ES kids. They ask me what the temperature is going to be each morning and they make their decisions accordingly. It's only these "cusp" seasons that are tricky. I'll ask them to throw on a hoodie or shove a fleece in their backpack if there is going to be a big temperature fluctuation. Plus, they stay hotter than I do. Just because I'm cold doesn't mean that they are cold. Seriously, peeps, let your kids make some decisions for themselves. It's not like it's snowing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher and instead of lecturing parents on clothes, I’d rather all of you buy deodorant for your kids. Many need it sooner than you think.

I understand. Kids are odd. They wore shorts all winter now they want to wear pants and long sleeves. My own DS insisted on summer clothes when it was freezing now he wants to wear his favorite hoodie every day. Fine, but he’s wearing deodorant. Yes, he’s in elementary school and needs it.

My 4th grader has been wearing it for a year and a half. It only took me smelling his armpits a couple of times to realize that he needed it.

I have a 4th grader. He showers every day. That's ia bit extreme and maybe you should bathe your kid more. That's not normal at 4th in less you held your kid back a year or two so they can be the oldest and "leaders - i.e. bullies."

Kids get enough electronics at school. We don't allow it during the week and we absolutely do not have Alexa on 24/7 as there have been privacy concerns with it recording. The temperature when kids go to school and get out greatly varies. Some kids are more comfortable in pants. OR, maybe they have outgrown their shorts and parents haven't gotten more or cannot afford to get more. Kids wearing pants vs. shorts is the least of the school's concerns.

In our ES the kids aren’t allowed to remove layers or change clothes in the bathroom. And the classrooms are frequently either incredibly hot (heat) or very old (AC). So there is really no way to win. Plus recess is only 20 minutes of the day.

Anonymous wrote:^ sorry but most elementary school kids do not have unfettered access to electronics with the weather app (nor should they).

Many have access to Alexa and can say "Alexa, what's the forecast today?" I also have a cheap weather station type thing in my bedroom that has an image of a guy dressed for what the forecast is (like this: .

This thread is cracking me up though. I haven't gotten my kid dressed in the morning since K - he's in 2nd grade now. Clothes are not something I'm going to fight him on - if he is willing to dress himself without a struggle, more power to him. When it was cold, if he didn't want to wear a jacket, I rarely forced him unless it wasn't getting out of the 30s or 40s. (He goes from the car to outside for 30 seconds to SACC to the classroom. I did remind him that his teacher may not let him go out for recess if it was too cold, that usually got him to the point where he'd at least put a jacket in his backpack). He was wearing long pants and a long sleeve t-shirt every day. A couple weeks ago if he came down in long sleeves and the forecast was in the 80s, I would casually say, it's going to be hot today, you could probably wear shorts. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't feel like changing. Last week or earlier this week, I told him I thought it was going to be pretty hot from here on out and he could probably wear shorts from now on, so that's what he's doing.

I totally agree with the PP that mentioned empowering your kids to make their own decisions. There are natural consequences and they'll figure it out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elementary age children? I don’t battle my kids on clothes. If they insist on shorts when it’s 45 they can be cold.

So unless you are talking about pk3/4 kids...well, it’s not a battle I’m fighting.

This... as long as the clothes are clean and match I don't care.

NP. We had a few kids dressed in jeans and sweatshirts today who ended up in the health room after recess because they felt nauseated/dizzy from playing in the heat. Do you care if you get a call from the health room because your kid threw up and you have to come get them?

I won't battle my kid on clothes, but I will tell him what the guidelines are (shorts vs. pants, t shirt vs. long sleeve) and he can choose whatever he wants within those guidelines.

You may not care but your lack of caring becomes just one more thing we have to deal with at school because you won't deal with it at home. --NP (and teacher)

DP. My kid learns best through natural consequences. Being too warm at recess because she didn’t want to take my suggestion on what to wear will teach far more effectively than us going a few rounds every morning will.

This. Also, this time a year, I put a “just in case” pair of pants and shorts in my kid’s backpack.

^ sorry but most elementary school kids do not have unfettered access to electronics with the weather app (nor should they).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how all of these lazy parents claim “they don’t fight their children” when it comes to clothing. I read that, “im too lazy to be bothered with what my child is going to experience all day.” It is your job to parent them and that means directing them to seasonally appropriate clothing. If they were fully developed, rational beings they wouldn’t need us.

They will keep needing you if you make every decision for them. And then they will have anxiety because you raised them to believe they can't make their own decisions.

Try again. My child and I look at the weather app together every morning and talk about what he should wear. He is in 4th grade. We do not have battles about clothes because we've overcome a power struggle when he was 2 and 3. If you're still having to do this with your upper elementary aged kid, you need to re-evaluate.

By fourth grade, a child shouldn't need you to look at the app with him and decide on what to wear. He can do that himself.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher and instead of lecturing parents on clothes, I’d rather all of you buy deodorant for your kids. Many need it sooner than you think.

I understand. Kids are odd. They wore shorts all winter now they want to wear pants and long sleeves. My own DS insisted on summer clothes when it was freezing now he wants to wear his favorite hoodie every day. Fine, but he’s wearing deodorant. Yes, he’s in elementary school and needs it.

My 4th grader has been wearing it for a year and a half. It only took me smelling his armpits a couple of times to realize that he needed it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how all of these lazy parents claim “they don’t fight their children” when it comes to clothing. I read that, “im too lazy to be bothered with what my child is going to experience all day.” It is your job to parent them and that means directing them to seasonally appropriate clothing. If they were fully developed, rational beings they wouldn’t need us.

They will keep needing you if you make every decision for them. And then they will have anxiety because you raised them to believe they can't make their own decisions.

Try again. My child and I look at the weather app together every morning and talk about what he should wear. He is in 4th grade. We do not have battles about clothes because we've overcome a power struggle when he was 2 and 3. If you're still having to do this with your upper elementary aged kid, you need to re-evaluate.