Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 16:35     Subject: Re:Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:Pakistani people definitely refer to themselves as brown on occasion. I can't believe you people haven't heard this. It's common vernacular when people are talking about their experiences in America.


Perhaps they are talking to other people of color? I only hear it on here.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 15:56     Subject: Re:Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:Pakistani people definitely refer to themselves as brown on occasion. I can't believe you people haven't heard this. It's common vernacular when people are talking about their experiences in America.


Agree. I have several Pakistani and Indian friends who refer to themselves as brown. Maybe not everyone does it, but it’s definitely a thing. Not at all derogatory.

And to the PP with the ridiculous example of a conversation, brown is not a place of origin. Of course that dialog would never happen.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 15:35     Subject: Re:Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Pakistani people definitely refer to themselves as brown on occasion. I can't believe you people haven't heard this. It's common vernacular when people are talking about their experiences in America.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 15:29     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:




As you’re about to raise your own mixed race child, you may start to hear “white side” and “brown side” a lot more in the future!



I already have a child and I have been married for 7 years. I have never heard a South Asian refer to themselves as brown. They say South Asian or Bengali, Indian or Pakistani. We also live in a predominantly Hispanic city right now and they do not refer to themselves as being brown either. I think the only person I've heard say this is an Indian comedian and that was on TV.


Full Bangladeshi PP here. Desi-Americans call themselves brown. It's common among those of us born here, so that's probably why you haven't heard it from your husband or his (presumably) fobby friends.



I have lots of South Asian American friends. I am Arab American myself. We don't refer to ourselves as brown either. It's not as common as blacks calling themselves black. Frankly I think my husband would be offended if I went around calling them my brown family. It may be no big for you but it's definitely not as common as you seem to think it is. You said yourself none of the immigrants do it. That's a hell of a lot of immigrants to piss off BTW.



I'm not sure why they would be "pissed off" as there is nothing derogatory about it. That said, if your husband's family doesn't call themselves brown you probably shouldn't do it either (since you don't have a direct claim to the moniker). PP who is half-brown and half-white uses the term because she actually is part brown.

Since you seem so incredulous - http://lmgtfy.com/?q=brown+desi


Look I don't know but I find it weird because it's not as common as you think it is. People may use this on Saturday night live or DCUM but it's totally different to use it in real life. I have been around brown people my whole life and have NEVER heard anyone use it. I personally feel weird calling people brown or even black. It's slang. I don't refer to my Hatian neighbors as black either.






This is totally off-topic, but since you've completely hijacked the thread anyway, I feel the need to weigh in. My husband is an immigrant, from India, and he refers to himself as brown all the time. As do his Indian-immigrant friends. It's totally common, at least on the East Coast and in large cities. It's not derogatory in any way.


This is op. My husband is not Indian. He's Bangladeshi. Perhaps you talk like this in your Indian circles but it's definitely not something white people are comfortable using. I haven't heard Bangladeshi or Pakistanis use it either.




Yeah it's really not common. I have never heard a South Asian reference themselves as being brown. This person is smoking something. I can't imagine how the conversation would go?

White person: Hey where are you from?

Indian: I am a brown person

White person: Oh ok
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 15:20     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:




As you’re about to raise your own mixed race child, you may start to hear “white side” and “brown side” a lot more in the future!



I already have a child and I have been married for 7 years. I have never heard a South Asian refer to themselves as brown. They say South Asian or Bengali, Indian or Pakistani. We also live in a predominantly Hispanic city right now and they do not refer to themselves as being brown either. I think the only person I've heard say this is an Indian comedian and that was on TV.


Full Bangladeshi PP here. Desi-Americans call themselves brown. It's common among those of us born here, so that's probably why you haven't heard it from your husband or his (presumably) fobby friends.



I have lots of South Asian American friends. I am Arab American myself. We don't refer to ourselves as brown either. It's not as common as blacks calling themselves black. Frankly I think my husband would be offended if I went around calling them my brown family. It may be no big for you but it's definitely not as common as you seem to think it is. You said yourself none of the immigrants do it. That's a hell of a lot of immigrants to piss off BTW.



I'm not sure why they would be "pissed off" as there is nothing derogatory about it. That said, if your husband's family doesn't call themselves brown you probably shouldn't do it either (since you don't have a direct claim to the moniker). PP who is half-brown and half-white uses the term because she actually is part brown.

Since you seem so incredulous - http://lmgtfy.com/?q=brown+desi


Look I don't know but I find it weird because it's not as common as you think it is. People may use this on Saturday night live or DCUM but it's totally different to use it in real life. I have been around brown people my whole life and have NEVER heard anyone use it. I personally feel weird calling people brown or even black. It's slang. I don't refer to my Hatian neighbors as black either.






This is totally off-topic, but since you've completely hijacked the thread anyway, I feel the need to weigh in. My husband is an immigrant, from India, and he refers to himself as brown all the time. As do his Indian-immigrant friends. It's totally common, at least on the East Coast and in large cities. It's not derogatory in any way.


This is op. My husband is not Indian. He's Bangladeshi. Perhaps you talk like this in your Indian circles but it's definitely not something white people are comfortable using. I haven't heard Bangladeshi or Pakistanis use it either.


Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 13:32     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:




As you’re about to raise your own mixed race child, you may start to hear “white side” and “brown side” a lot more in the future!



I already have a child and I have been married for 7 years. I have never heard a South Asian refer to themselves as brown. They say South Asian or Bengali, Indian or Pakistani. We also live in a predominantly Hispanic city right now and they do not refer to themselves as being brown either. I think the only person I've heard say this is an Indian comedian and that was on TV.


Full Bangladeshi PP here. Desi-Americans call themselves brown. It's common among those of us born here, so that's probably why you haven't heard it from your husband or his (presumably) fobby friends.



I have lots of South Asian American friends. I am Arab American myself. We don't refer to ourselves as brown either. It's not as common as blacks calling themselves black. Frankly I think my husband would be offended if I went around calling them my brown family. It may be no big for you but it's definitely not as common as you seem to think it is. You said yourself none of the immigrants do it. That's a hell of a lot of immigrants to piss off BTW.



I'm not sure why they would be "pissed off" as there is nothing derogatory about it. That said, if your husband's family doesn't call themselves brown you probably shouldn't do it either (since you don't have a direct claim to the moniker). PP who is half-brown and half-white uses the term because she actually is part brown.

Since you seem so incredulous - http://lmgtfy.com/?q=brown+desi


Look I don't know but I find it weird because it's not as common as you think it is. People may use this on Saturday night live or DCUM but it's totally different to use it in real life. I have been around brown people my whole life and have NEVER heard anyone use it. I personally feel weird calling people brown or even black. It's slang. I don't refer to my Hatian neighbors as black either.






This is totally off-topic, but since you've completely hijacked the thread anyway, I feel the need to weigh in. My husband is an immigrant, from India, and he refers to himself as brown all the time. As do his Indian-immigrant friends. It's totally common, at least on the East Coast and in large cities. It's not derogatory in any way.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 12:51     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:




As you’re about to raise your own mixed race child, you may start to hear “white side” and “brown side” a lot more in the future!



I already have a child and I have been married for 7 years. I have never heard a South Asian refer to themselves as brown. They say South Asian or Bengali, Indian or Pakistani. We also live in a predominantly Hispanic city right now and they do not refer to themselves as being brown either. I think the only person I've heard say this is an Indian comedian and that was on TV.


Full Bangladeshi PP here. Desi-Americans call themselves brown. It's common among those of us born here, so that's probably why you haven't heard it from your husband or his (presumably) fobby friends.



I have lots of South Asian American friends. I am Arab American myself. We don't refer to ourselves as brown either. It's not as common as blacks calling themselves black. Frankly I think my husband would be offended if I went around calling them my brown family. It may be no big for you but it's definitely not as common as you seem to think it is. You said yourself none of the immigrants do it. That's a hell of a lot of immigrants to piss off BTW.



I'm not sure why they would be "pissed off" as there is nothing derogatory about it. That said, if your husband's family doesn't call themselves brown you probably shouldn't do it either (since you don't have a direct claim to the moniker). PP who is half-brown and half-white uses the term because she actually is part brown.

Since you seem so incredulous - http://lmgtfy.com/?q=brown+desi


Look I don't know but I find it weird because it's not as common as you think it is. People may use this on Saturday night live or DCUM but it's totally different to use it in real life. I have been around brown people my whole life and have NEVER heard anyone use it. I personally feel weird calling people brown or even black. It's slang. I don't refer to my Hatian neighbors as black either.





Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 10:22     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:




As you’re about to raise your own mixed race child, you may start to hear “white side” and “brown side” a lot more in the future!



I already have a child and I have been married for 7 years. I have never heard a South Asian refer to themselves as brown. They say South Asian or Bengali, Indian or Pakistani. We also live in a predominantly Hispanic city right now and they do not refer to themselves as being brown either. I think the only person I've heard say this is an Indian comedian and that was on TV.


Full Bangladeshi PP here. Desi-Americans call themselves brown. It's common among those of us born here, so that's probably why you haven't heard it from your husband or his (presumably) fobby friends.



I have lots of South Asian American friends. I am Arab American myself. We don't refer to ourselves as brown either. It's not as common as blacks calling themselves black. Frankly I think my husband would be offended if I went around calling them my brown family. It may be no big for you but it's definitely not as common as you seem to think it is. You said yourself none of the immigrants do it. That's a hell of a lot of immigrants to piss off BTW.



I'm not sure why they would be "pissed off" as there is nothing derogatory about it. That said, if your husband's family doesn't call themselves brown you probably shouldn't do it either (since you don't have a direct claim to the moniker). PP who is half-brown and half-white uses the term because she actually is part brown.

Since you seem so incredulous - http://lmgtfy.com/?q=brown+desi
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 07:41     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im half Bangladeshi and was super curious about this and asked my family. They were VERY insistent that yes of course it causes miscarriage and shocked that I risked this baby (I’m in my third trimester) with pineapple over the winter. Ha! Learn something new every day!

Meanwhile they don’t blink at coffee and tea during pregnancy and that has been linked to miscarriage in the first trimester. So go figure.

My white side of the family had a lot more to say about the risks I would take during pregnancy than my brown family.

I think you’ll benefit your relationship with your MIL and DH by acknowledging the concern, telling them you did research, and asserting you’re moving forward with cooked, non-core pineapple bits based on your informed understanding of the risk.


OP here. I find this hard to believe. Why don't you give examples of what your white family is concerned about? BTW my husband has never referred to himself as being brown. Must be a weird DCUM thing. I never hear it in real life.




As you’re about to raise your own mixed race child, you may start to hear “white side” and “brown side” a lot more in the future!



I already have a child and I have been married for 7 years. I have never heard a South Asian refer to themselves as brown. They say South Asian or Bengali, Indian or Pakistani. We also live in a predominantly Hispanic city right now and they do not refer to themselves as being brown either. I think the only person I've heard say this is an Indian comedian and that was on TV.


Full Bangladeshi PP here. Desi-Americans call themselves brown. It's common among those of us born here, so that's probably why you haven't heard it from your husband or his (presumably) fobby friends.



I have lots of South Asian American friends. I am Arab American myself. We don't refer to ourselves as brown either. It's not as common as blacks calling themselves black. Frankly I think my husband would be offended if I went around calling them my brown family. It may be no big for you but it's definitely not as common as you seem to think it is. You said yourself none of the immigrants do it. That's a hell of a lot of immigrants to piss off BTW.


Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 04:44     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:I ate tons of pineapple while pregnant with my third, like 4-5 times a week. She came on her due date.


Yeah, I craved it like crazy with my second. I didn’t eat it that many times in a week, but only because I’d eat an entire pineapple in 1-2 sittings. I ended up being induced.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2019 00:20     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im half Bangladeshi and was super curious about this and asked my family. They were VERY insistent that yes of course it causes miscarriage and shocked that I risked this baby (I’m in my third trimester) with pineapple over the winter. Ha! Learn something new every day!

Meanwhile they don’t blink at coffee and tea during pregnancy and that has been linked to miscarriage in the first trimester. So go figure.

My white side of the family had a lot more to say about the risks I would take during pregnancy than my brown family.

I think you’ll benefit your relationship with your MIL and DH by acknowledging the concern, telling them you did research, and asserting you’re moving forward with cooked, non-core pineapple bits based on your informed understanding of the risk.


OP here. I find this hard to believe. Why don't you give examples of what your white family is concerned about? BTW my husband has never referred to himself as being brown. Must be a weird DCUM thing. I never hear it in real life.




As you’re about to raise your own mixed race child, you may start to hear “white side” and “brown side” a lot more in the future!



I already have a child and I have been married for 7 years. I have never heard a South Asian refer to themselves as brown. They say South Asian or Bengali, Indian or Pakistani. We also live in a predominantly Hispanic city right now and they do not refer to themselves as being brown either. I think the only person I've heard say this is an Indian comedian and that was on TV.


Full Bangladeshi PP here. Desi-Americans call themselves brown. It's common among those of us born here, so that's probably why you haven't heard it from your husband or his (presumably) fobby friends.

Anonymous
Post 05/23/2019 22:10     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:You need to have a come to Jesus with your DH.

My MIL also tries to tell him things to tell me what to do and inquires about detailed results of medical tests, because 40 years ago she studied to be an nurse in a far away country (not L&D, but more like an army first aid nurse).

I told him flat out if he tells her any of my medical info he can't come to appointments with me, I'll HIPPA him out. Last thing I need is to have someone second guess doctors and me.


OP here. It was hard but I did stick up for myself.
BTW the pineapple rice I ordered Saturday only had like 2 pineapple pieces I wonder if my husband called the restaurant and told them to give light pineapples in my take out

Anonymous
Post 05/23/2019 22:06     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im half Bangladeshi and was super curious about this and asked my family. They were VERY insistent that yes of course it causes miscarriage and shocked that I risked this baby (I’m in my third trimester) with pineapple over the winter. Ha! Learn something new every day!

Meanwhile they don’t blink at coffee and tea during pregnancy and that has been linked to miscarriage in the first trimester. So go figure.

My white side of the family had a lot more to say about the risks I would take during pregnancy than my brown family.

I think you’ll benefit your relationship with your MIL and DH by acknowledging the concern, telling them you did research, and asserting you’re moving forward with cooked, non-core pineapple bits based on your informed understanding of the risk.


OP here. I find this hard to believe. Why don't you give examples of what your white family is concerned about? BTW my husband has never referred to himself as being brown. Must be a weird DCUM thing. I never hear it in real life.




As you’re about to raise your own mixed race child, you may start to hear “white side” and “brown side” a lot more in the future!



I already have a child and I have been married for 7 years. I have never heard a South Asian refer to themselves as brown. They say South Asian or Bengali, Indian or Pakistani. We also live in a predominantly Hispanic city right now and they do not refer to themselves as being brown either. I think the only person I've heard say this is an Indian comedian and that was on TV.
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2019 22:02     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im half Bangladeshi and was super curious about this and asked my family. They were VERY insistent that yes of course it causes miscarriage and shocked that I risked this baby (I’m in my third trimester) with pineapple over the winter. Ha! Learn something new every day!

Meanwhile they don’t blink at coffee and tea during pregnancy and that has been linked to miscarriage in the first trimester. So go figure.

My white side of the family had a lot more to say about the risks I would take during pregnancy than my brown family.

I think you’ll benefit your relationship with your MIL and DH by acknowledging the concern, telling them you did research, and asserting you’re moving forward with cooked, non-core pineapple bits based on your informed understanding of the risk.


OP here. I find this hard to believe. Why don't you give examples of what your white family is concerned about? BTW my husband has never referred to himself as being brown. Must be a weird DCUM thing. I never hear it in real life.




Running and traveling internationally were the two big ones.
.

OP here. Yes I can see that. I am surprised your Bengali family was ok with running. I am not a runner so that's never came up. My in laws are pretty laid back but I have a ton of Pakistani friends with overbearing in laws. The stories they tell me are kind of unbelievable.






Anonymous
Post 05/23/2019 21:02     Subject: Husband thinks I need to avoid pineapple
You need to have a come to Jesus with your DH.

My MIL also tries to tell him things to tell me what to do and inquires about detailed results of medical tests, because 40 years ago she studied to be an nurse in a far away country (not L&D, but more like an army first aid nurse).

I told him flat out if he tells her any of my medical info he can't come to appointments with me, I'll HIPPA him out. Last thing I need is to have someone second guess doctors and me.