Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d show my daughter the items she won’t be allowed to wear and tell the 11 yo if she comes home with items similar you are just taking the back so it’s up to her to communicate with the GF what is ok and what is not.

But you seem like a great mom and the choices out there are insane.

It’s hard to find shirts that are not too short and shirts that are not cropped.

What? That's absurd. One parent doesn't get to dictate things for kids where there (I assume) is shared custody. You can tell your daughter she can;t wear those clothes while at your house, I suppose (though that opens up its own can of worms), but if the Ex (you know, the girl's father, a parent with an equal right to set boundaries regarding this type of thing) thinks the clothes are OK, then you have zero control over that.

Stay in your lane, lady.

DP Did you read the op's update? The Dad agrees with the mom so you are totally incorrect. Great job OP! Sounds like you and ex are great parents.

Sounds like OP and her ex handled this fine, unlike others in this thread who live for the drama would have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tough age and gets worse around 13 with boobs. It’s ok to just text DH that she’s not allowed to wear clothes like this. DD is telling each adult that the other adult said OK to this. It’s really OK to say no to clothes that you think are too revealing for an 11 year old. My DDs are adults now and look back on that period of time with embarrassment (showing too much).

Oh, FFS. No, it isn't.

This type of attitude (first PP) would explain why someone is divorced. If you believe that the mother has the right to completely dictate rules, including to her spouse, then I can understand the spouse deciding that he needs a separate household so that he can make his own rules and follow his own conscience about what is and isn't acceptable. And would also explain why someone has a contentious divorce and post-divorce life instead of a tolerant one like OP.

OP was clearly more mature and managed to find a middle ground with her ex and they agreed on the clothes to be returned and substituted for other acceptable clothes.