Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 09:34     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Anonymous wrote:Who cares - Iits a Hallmark holiday.

If there's something you want, tell someone - they can't read your mind no matter how hard they try. And they never will, so the sooner you learn direct communication, and are clear about your expectations, the happier you'll be.

Mom of 3, married 20+ years, happy if someone says Happy Mothers Day and/or cooks dinner! No way would I venture out to a restaurant on Mothers Day (also waited tables in college - worst day to work ever! Esp when kids are treating their mon, and don't know they are supposed to tip).


Wow. I think this is super sad. I'm glad that works for you, but I hope to never be in this place. I've been married 16 years with 2 kids. You seem a bit jaded/bitter.

I don't expect anything extravagant at all, but I love and appreciate the cards and moment of acknowledgment from my husband and kids. Its a fun, low key day for my FAMILY. For us, And yes, I would be sad if it went totally unacknowledged.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 09:07     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
My son is with his dad this weekend, so we celebrated last weekend. It was lovely. We did dinner, went to the playground, my son made huge strides in learning to ride a bike (!! He’s 10 and it’s been hard for him to learn), and we enjoyed a lovely weekend together. It was perfect. No big presents, just a lovely weekend.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 09:04     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
I think there are some teens which are much easier than little kids but not all or even most. I’m glad you two got lucky.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 09:01     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Try being a mother to teens! No elementary school teacher to make sure they make a cute card. Kids are super busy with AP exams last week and next or lessons and games today. Standing on a field that is 30 minutes away in pouring rain — that could be part of Mother’s Day! Now I’ll probably skip the game but that does mean DH and one kid are busy there.

I’m actually not complaining— mother’s day felt so important when I was in the day to day physical child rearing years. Now motherhood is equally draining but in a totally different way. It’s all mental stress, talking and driving and no adorable small faces.

I’m actually the only one awake and wish I could have slept in. Would go to the gym but feel lazy to do that in the pouring rain.


“Equally draining?”
Hell no. I’m a mom with 2 teens. Drove ds to school early twice this week for AP exams, and he was less than pleasant. And like you, I’m feeling lazy about going to the gym because of the rain. But where we part ways is the mental stress. I have no time for that, even with a demanding job. I’m happily taking a painting class once a week because kids are able to get themselves home and feed themselves. I enjoy hanging out with spouse. Kids do their own laundry. Sure I stood and watched the most painfully boring softball game the other day, but then I enjoyed a nice walk home with dd after the game.
Just savor this time when they’re all under the same roof. Drop the stress. Enjoy your life.
Happy Mother’s Day.


+ 1

Mine are in HS/MS and so much easier. Relax. Enjoy.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 08:54     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Anonymous wrote:Im happy to have an excuse to go out for a margarita tonight at our favorite Tex-Mex with my boys.

I too have to dote on my mother, buying presents, cards etc. and celebrate this day as hers, the Grand Matriarch. When I pick out her cards, I see “Happy Mother Day, Daughter” cards, who buys these? My mother has never, ever sent one to me or ever acknowledged that possibly, we could share this day as Mothers, together.


You don't "have to" do anything beyond sending flowers or some other small gift, a card, and a quick phone call or FaceTime. You are participating in this dynamic willingly, and you can choose to get off the ride.

Give yourself the gift this Mother's Day of letting go of this. Yes, you need to acknowledge your mom on Mother's Day, but you don't need to jump through hoops to do it.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 08:41     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Im happy to have an excuse to go out for a margarita tonight at our favorite Tex-Mex with my boys.

I too have to dote on my mother, buying presents, cards etc. and celebrate this day as hers, the Grand Matriarch. When I pick out her cards, I see “Happy Mother Day, Daughter” cards, who buys these? My mother has never, ever sent one to me or ever acknowledged that possibly, we could share this day as Mothers, together.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 08:25     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this. Can’t wait to read all the self-martyrdom on Monday morning.


Actually it typically starts by 10am on Sunday along the lines of “I’ve been up with the kids since 6am because hubby was out until 2am with his buddies. He’s still sleeping while I’m wiping maple syrup off the wall. I’m so tired of this life I chose.”


LOL. My DH tries more than he used to so I can't really complain, but I'm pregnant and that seems to make me wake up at 6 like clockwork now, and I do wish that didn't make me the parent who has to get up and turn on My Little Pony and then play the plot repeatedly every single weekend morning including today. Why am I trying to have ANOTHER kid?!


Nudge your husband and tell him to go turn on the TV. Happy Mother’s Day!


I was awake long before anyone else (why?!), so I'm cuddling with kiddo in front of the tv - could be a lot worse!. But I did wake DH at 8 instead of 9, otherwise his nice breakfast would be my second.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 08:22     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Anonymous wrote:Try being a mother to teens! No elementary school teacher to make sure they make a cute card. Kids are super busy with AP exams last week and next or lessons and games today. Standing on a field that is 30 minutes away in pouring rain — that could be part of Mother’s Day! Now I’ll probably skip the game but that does mean DH and one kid are busy there.

I’m actually not complaining— mother’s day felt so important when I was in the day to day physical child rearing years. Now motherhood is equally draining but in a totally different way. It’s all mental stress, talking and driving and no adorable small faces.

I’m actually the only one awake and wish I could have slept in. Would go to the gym but feel lazy to do that in the pouring rain.


“Equally draining?”
Hell no. I’m a mom with 2 teens. Drove ds to school early twice this week for AP exams, and he was less than pleasant. And like you, I’m feeling lazy about going to the gym because of the rain. But where we part ways is the mental stress. I have no time for that, even with a demanding job. I’m happily taking a painting class once a week because kids are able to get themselves home and feed themselves. I enjoy hanging out with spouse. Kids do their own laundry. Sure I stood and watched the most painfully boring softball game the other day, but then I enjoyed a nice walk home with dd after the game.
Just savor this time when they’re all under the same roof. Drop the stress. Enjoy your life.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 08:10     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this. Can’t wait to read all the self-martyrdom on Monday morning.


Actually it typically starts by 10am on Sunday along the lines of “I’ve been up with the kids since 6am because hubby was out until 2am with his buddies. He’s still sleeping while I’m wiping maple syrup off the wall. I’m so tired of this life I chose.”


LOL. My DH tries more than he used to so I can't really complain, but I'm pregnant and that seems to make me wake up at 6 like clockwork now, and I do wish that didn't make me the parent who has to get up and turn on My Little Pony and then play the plot repeatedly every single weekend morning including today. Why am I trying to have ANOTHER kid?!


Nudge your husband and tell him to go turn on the TV. Happy Mother’s Day!
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 07:38     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Try being a mother to teens! No elementary school teacher to make sure they make a cute card. Kids are super busy with AP exams last week and next or lessons and games today. Standing on a field that is 30 minutes away in pouring rain — that could be part of Mother’s Day! Now I’ll probably skip the game but that does mean DH and one kid are busy there.

I’m actually not complaining— mother’s day felt so important when I was in the day to day physical child rearing years. Now motherhood is equally draining but in a totally different way. It’s all mental stress, talking and driving and no adorable small faces.

I’m actually the only one awake and wish I could have slept in. Would go to the gym but feel lazy to do that in the pouring rain.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 07:32     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
I know my DH will make up some story to get out of the house and see his mistress.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 07:27     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Step away from the internet on MD and just enjoy what you've got.

We celebrated yesterday. They made me breakfast, fought over who would hand me the coffee. I spent time on a project with the kids in the morning. DH took them out during the afternoon while I rested. That's all. I just enjoyed a day with my family.

Tomorrow all the one upping will begin...professional photos, perfect bouquets, fancy jewelry, sprawling brunches.

If forced to compare, yeah we didn't do or spend what others do. But we had a nice day and anytime there was bickering I got to say "it's mothers day" and they would leave me in peace. Did people complain about mothers day before social media and pinterest?
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 06:53     Subject: Re:Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Wow. 4 pages long and it's not even 7 a.m.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 06:49     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this. Can’t wait to read all the self-martyrdom on Monday morning.


Actually it typically starts by 10am on Sunday along the lines of “I’ve been up with the kids since 6am because hubby was out until 2am with his buddies. He’s still sleeping while I’m wiping maple syrup off the wall. I’m so tired of this life I chose.”


LOL. My DH tries more than he used to so I can't really complain, but I'm pregnant and that seems to make me wake up at 6 like clockwork now, and I do wish that didn't make me the parent who has to get up and turn on My Little Pony and then play the plot repeatedly every single weekend morning including today. Why am I trying to have ANOTHER kid?!


But DH is not a surprises type, he thinks people should ask for what they want, so eventually when he does get up there will be French toast with berries and whipped cream. He's good at breakfast so that's what I requested.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2019 06:47     Subject: Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this. Can’t wait to read all the self-martyrdom on Monday morning.


Actually it typically starts by 10am on Sunday along the lines of “I’ve been up with the kids since 6am because hubby was out until 2am with his buddies. He’s still sleeping while I’m wiping maple syrup off the wall. I’m so tired of this life I chose.”


LOL. My DH tries more than he used to so I can't really complain, but I'm pregnant and that seems to make me wake up at 6 like clockwork now, and I do wish that didn't make me the parent who has to get up and turn on My Little Pony and then play the plot repeatedly every single weekend morning including today. Why am I trying to have ANOTHER kid?!