Anonymous wrote:
I am absolutely furious about a current situation in my neighborhood. Three months ago, after extensive, heavy research, sourcing & interviewing, I met a wonderful, loving young women to be a part-time caretaker/ glorified babysitter for my two young sons. She has bonded incredibly well, they love her, we love her and schedule wise everything has been great.

We treat her as well as we possibly can (because this level help is extremely difficult to find), compensate her very well & she has told me she loves working for us. She is also very loyal to me and has told me about my neighbor down the street. This women on more than one occasion has come down to our house when Nanny is with the children and try to coax my nanny into part-time babysitting for her kids on weekend nights. I have told our Nanny that if she ever wants a weekend night gig- she has one with me no problem. She really does not- her weekends are her time off (we have discussed this at length- we compensate her extremely well and she is not financially hard up and she likes her weekends for time to herself to have a life) and I have 1-2 other sitters I use for weekend nights.

I'm furious at my troll of a neighbor for putting pressure on this young women (completely inappropriate) and piggybacking off of MY hard work. Do you think an energetic, fantastic with children, educated, well traveled, bilingual junior Mary Poppins appears out of the blue?? It took me MONTHS to find her.
This isn't the first time it has happened. I had my cousin's daughter who is an ex athlete babysit last year and she of course saw her outside playing soccer with my boys and then immediately tried to solicit her. She never goes directly to ME, if she did I WOULD happily pass along 1-2 weekend sitters that I would recommend to anyone. it is always this sneaky behavior that makes my Nanny/caregiver uncomfortable and me want to march down the street and give her a serious piece of my mind.

What's the best protocol for this?
Thoughts on how to handle?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait - so your neighbor is asking your babysitter to sit for her kids at times when she is not scheduled to sit for you? And you are incensed about this, because you intensively researched your sitter?

I am having a hard time figuring out why this is any business of yours at all, much less why you are angry about it.

Don't go give your neighbor a piece of your mind; it doesn't sound like you can spare it.

OP here- No. She is asking not knowing the schedule at all- it's none of her business. Nanny came to me put off because it was done SEVERAL times and this neighbor is aggressive and tacky about it.
Yes I'm irritated because she knows me and knows that I don't do anything halfway. She also called up my interior designer (who I paid full price for and found myself) to say "I recommended her" only to try to talk down the price or not make it worth her time. She also found out I have an academic tutor for my sons and tried chatting her up to ask about rates (which is laughable because I know she won't pay for it). She has poached my gardeners, landscapers, etc. It's ALWAYS the same story- she will never, ever compensate these people the way they should and I really don't know why she keeps skimming off of me but it's incredibly irritating. It doesn't bode well for me because all the people above who are employed by me have to deal with her at some point- I take pride in making a nice environment for these people and they don't include her tacky, cheap, aggressive self.

you're really changing your story here OP. You never said she doesn't compensate people well. And either way you just 100% have no ownership over these people!! It doesn't matter how long you researched! That argument seriously holds no water. It is completely NORMAL for people to use the same landscape people, cleaning folks, etc in the same neighborhood. One of the most common things ever and a benefit to those hired because they don't have to pay to go in between neighborhoods driving all over. It's up to the people she hires to figure out their compensation with her, that is not your problem.

OP- I'm providing additional information, not changing. That is a very important point- she is known to be very cheap (you should see her house- it's a falling apart wreck while everyone else's house in the neighborhood is pristine) and does not treat any kind of domestic help well AT ALL. I think it's this desperate need to outsource and make it look like she can have all this help, when in reality she isn't comfortable paying for it and just leads a different lifestyle. I'm not trying to have ownership over anyone and I would never try to dominate one's time. I believe in high quality work and will compensate and behave accordingly. Yes I appreciate some loyalty- who doesn't??
I don't go to a world renowned antique dealer and treat him like a vendor at a flea market- I value the antiques and collectibles that this person has worked hard to collect and sell. She DOESN'T get it- not my problem but I would REALLY like for her to get the heck out of my fine antiques store if you aren't going to pay full price. It's a waste of EVERYONE's time.

Anonymous wrote:OP's nanny...if you're reading this thread...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait - so your neighbor is asking your babysitter to sit for her kids at times when she is not scheduled to sit for you? And you are incensed about this, because you intensively researched your sitter?

I am having a hard time figuring out why this is any business of yours at all, much less why you are angry about it.

Don't go give your neighbor a piece of your mind; it doesn't sound like you can spare it.

OP here- No. She is asking not knowing the schedule at all- it's none of her business. Nanny came to me put off because it was done SEVERAL times and this neighbor is aggressive and tacky about it.
Yes I'm irritated because she knows me and knows that I don't do anything halfway. She also called up my interior designer (who I paid full price for and found myself) to say "I recommended her" only to try to talk down the price or not make it worth her time. She also found out I have an academic tutor for my sons and tried chatting her up to ask about rates (which is laughable because I know she won't pay for it). She has poached my gardeners, landscapers, etc. It's ALWAYS the same story- she will never, ever compensate these people the way they should and I really don't know why she keeps skimming off of me but it's incredibly irritating. It doesn't bode well for me because all the people above who are employed by me have to deal with her at some point- I take pride in making a nice environment for these people and they don't include her tacky, cheap, aggressive self.

you're really changing your story here OP. You never said she doesn't compensate people well. And either way you just 100% have no ownership over these people!! It doesn't matter how long you researched! That argument seriously holds no water. It is completely NORMAL for people to use the same landscape people, cleaning folks, etc in the same neighborhood. One of the most common things ever and a benefit to those hired because they don't have to pay to go in between neighborhoods driving all over. It's up to the people she hires to figure out their compensation with her, that is not your problem.

OP- I'm providing additional information, not changing. That is a very important point- she is known to be very cheap (you should see her house- it's a falling apart wreck while everyone else's house in the neighborhood is pristine) and does not treat any kind of domestic help well AT ALL. I think it's this desperate need to outsource and make it look like she can have all this help, when in reality she isn't comfortable paying for it and just leads a different lifestyle. I'm not trying to have ownership over anyone and I would never try to dominate one's time. I believe in high quality work and will compensate and behave accordingly. Yes I appreciate some loyalty- who doesn't??
I don't go to a world renowned antique dealer and treat him like a vendor at a flea market- I value the antiques and collectibles that this person has worked hard to collect and sell. She DOESN'T get it- not my problem but I would REALLY like for her to get the heck out of my fine antiques store if you aren't going to pay full price. It's a waste of EVERYONE's time.

On one hand, I can see that this particular neighbor could be annoying, but with each post you sound more and more snobbish and full of yourself. You're rich, we get it. You're neighbor is ruining the look of your upscale neighborhood. We get it. But no matter how much you protest, it's clear you are the kind of person who calls the various people you employ "the Help". Stop trying to pretend you don't think of yourself like Lady Mary on Downton Abbey.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh...in my neighborhood (7 houses) it's extremely common for us to use the same gardeners, landscapers, house cleaners , contractors, etc. If someone is able to negotiate a better rate , that's on them.

Now the fact that your neighbor is being aggressive and making your nanny uncomfortable is not ok. But your nanny is adult, she needs to be clear with the neighbor she's.not interested and to stop asking. There should be no reason this is an ongoing thing unless your nanny has problems standing up for herself.

OP here- Oh really? Is that what you would tell someone who's being sexually harassed at work? That she should do a better job of standing up for herself and "Thanks, I'm really busy but will ask my friends to see if they have any availability for you" doesn't suffice because crazy neighbor is bent on getting my Nanny, not her friends? I'm her employer and take pride in making an enjoyable work environment for her- that includes looking out for her (did I mention she's 24 years old- not someone who feels completely comfortable standing up to 40something yr old housewives in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in DC??" I really don't understand how my sense of extreme care and trying to look out for someone is young & impressionable is seen as wrong and that I should "lay off".
You are the kind of women who don't help other women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait - so your neighbor is asking your babysitter to sit for her kids at times when she is not scheduled to sit for you? And you are incensed about this, because you intensively researched your sitter?

I am having a hard time figuring out why this is any business of yours at all, much less why you are angry about it.

Don't go give your neighbor a piece of your mind; it doesn't sound like you can spare it.

OP here- No. She is asking not knowing the schedule at all- it's none of her business. Nanny came to me put off because it was done SEVERAL times and this neighbor is aggressive and tacky about it.
Yes I'm irritated because she knows me and knows that I don't do anything halfway. She also called up my interior designer (who I paid full price for and found myself) to say "I recommended her" only to try to talk down the price or not make it worth her time. She also found out I have an academic tutor for my sons and tried chatting her up to ask about rates (which is laughable because I know she won't pay for it). She has poached my gardeners, landscapers, etc. It's ALWAYS the same story- she will never, ever compensate these people the way they should and I really don't know why she keeps skimming off of me but it's incredibly irritating. It doesn't bode well for me because all the people above who are employed by me have to deal with her at some point- I take pride in making a nice environment for these people and they don't include her tacky, cheap, aggressive self.

you're really changing your story here OP. You never said she doesn't compensate people well. And either way you just 100% have no ownership over these people!! It doesn't matter how long you researched! That argument seriously holds no water. It is completely NORMAL for people to use the same landscape people, cleaning folks, etc in the same neighborhood. One of the most common things ever and a benefit to those hired because they don't have to pay to go in between neighborhoods driving all over. It's up to the people she hires to figure out their compensation with her, that is not your problem.

OP- I'm providing additional information, not changing. That is a very important point- she is known to be very cheap (you should see her house- it's a falling apart wreck while everyone else's house in the neighborhood is pristine) and does not treat any kind of domestic help well AT ALL. I think it's this desperate need to outsource and make it look like she can have all this help, when in reality she isn't comfortable paying for it and just leads a different lifestyle. I'm not trying to have ownership over anyone and I would never try to dominate one's time. I believe in high quality work and will compensate and behave accordingly. Yes I appreciate some loyalty- who doesn't??
I don't go to a world renowned antique dealer and treat him like a vendor at a flea market- I value the antiques and collectibles that this person has worked hard to collect and sell. She DOESN'T get it- not my problem but I would REALLY like for her to get the heck out of my fine antiques store if you aren't going to pay full price. It's a waste of EVERYONE's time.