Anonymous
Post 05/10/2019 04:41     Subject: Is this unfair or reasonable?
Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what others think of this. I need unbiased opinions, please!

DS has a big sports-related competition coming up. Last year, we invited all the grandparents, and did dinner afterwards. This year, it falls the Thursday before my parents are leaving for a nearly two-month vacation (they leave on the following Monday).

We had planned to spend a weekend day visiting them that week, to wish them farewell. However, we (our nuclear family) were invited out of town for something that’s important to DH, and he wishes we all attend, so we will be leaving Friday as soon as the kids get out of school, and won’t be back until late Sunday. So, Thursday will be my last opportunity to visit with my parents before they leave, and I’d like to just invite my parents only, so we all get some good one-on-one time with them at dinner after the competition, before they leave. Since I’m “taking one for the team” and going away for DH’s thing, I thought he could do the same and let us have this time without the interference of his parents.

But it DOES sound horrible and selfish, right? I need someone to tell me if it is before I present it to DH! Is it horrible to ask that, because our weekend will be spent doing X for YOU, can we please just invite only my parents so we can have some quality time with them before they leave? (Also, ILs haven’t yet been invited to the competition, FWIW.)


Yes, it sounds horrible and selfish, and also bizarre.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2019 03:20     Subject: Is this unfair or reasonable?
Anonymous wrote:They booked two months away with no thought to missing out on life with you all. I see no reason for a giant, sentimental farewell. If so, spend time before the tournament together and meet the ILs at and after the event.

Of course this all presumes they want to spend a day at sports when they are getting ready to leave.

Apparently there's "something more" to the trip though. We don't know what though. The dramatic hints only started coming out when OP wasn't getting the desired answers to the original post.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2019 22:40     Subject: Is this unfair or reasonable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are some many parts of this that are ridiculous that it's hard to know where to start.

- That you, a presumably grown woman, need to wish your parents an in-person farewell because you won't see then for 2 months.

- That you could think of excluding your inlaws from something that they have previously been invited to so you can have "along time" with your parents.

- That you and your parents apparently can't master the intricacies of a cell phone or, heaven forbid, face time.

- That you use your attendance at a family event over the weekend as an excuse to exclude your inlaws.

- That you engage in bean-counting at a preposterous level.

You are in dire need of a good strong dose of maturity and/or kick in the ass. Preferably both.


I especially agree with this poster. You can’t see your parents for two months, waaaaah!!! I can’t believe you’re old enough to be a parent yourself


It’s probably because the parents won’t be around to do her favors for 2 months. I have a friend who panics every time her parents take an extended vacation because they do so much for her.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2019 21:26     Subject: Is this unfair or reasonable?
Anonymous wrote:There are some many parts of this that are ridiculous that it's hard to know where to start.

- That you, a presumably grown woman, need to wish your parents an in-person farewell because you won't see then for 2 months.

- That you could think of excluding your inlaws from something that they have previously been invited to so you can have "along time" with your parents.

- That you and your parents apparently can't master the intricacies of a cell phone or, heaven forbid, face time.

- That you use your attendance at a family event over the weekend as an excuse to exclude your inlaws.

- That you engage in bean-counting at a preposterous level.

You are in dire need of a good strong dose of maturity and/or kick in the ass. Preferably both.


I especially agree with this poster. You can’t see your parents for two months, waaaaah!!! I can’t believe you’re old enough to be a parent yourself
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2019 21:18     Subject: Is this unfair or reasonable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think that sounds terribly unfair to both your ds and your inlaws. You could have a visit with only your parents the weekend before, or dinner out with only them Monday-Wednesday, then invite everyone to the event on Thursday.


This. It sounds very unfair and selfish to me, too. Everyone should be invited to DS's event.


High maintenance much?

By the time you become a grandparent, you should have learned to stop beam counting. Life will be much easier and more pleasant for you and everyone you know. It’ll be okay. I promise.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2019 21:14     Subject: Is this unfair or reasonable?
Anonymous wrote:I don't see a problem.

To H: we had planned on spending a weekend day visiting my parents, but that plan was upended by this out of town event. So could we please use the dinner on Thursday to just see my parents, since they won't see us or the kids for 2 months?


I think this sounds fine.

Unless there’s some hidden history of trying to exclude one set of grandparents, this is reasonable. Presumably there will many opportunities over the 2 months your parents are traveling for the other side to have solo visits with your family.