Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Freshman kids, well known party house with no supervision, and a large group of parents are letting their 15 year olds hang there all the time and sleep over. They all know what’s going on but don’t care. I’m pissed as these are my kid’s friends and I have reached out to the parents to see if we can be on the same page, and no-go. It’s craziness. Makes it very hard to parent and be the only one in the friend group not allowing it, which I have to do.

Oh well...everyone makes different choices, and you need to live with yours or, as others have suggested, your kid needs to find new friends. I'm so tired of parents wanting other parents to change their approach to parenting so that your job is easier.

This is the same debate that goes on about MS kids and cell phones. The parents who don't let their kids have cell phones just can't believe that the other parents are permitting it because it makes it so hard to say no. Oh well....either continue to say no and suck it up, or let your kid have a cell phone (or go to the party or whatever it is you are resisting). The parents who are letting their kids go to the party aren't pressuring you to let your DC go too (I assume), so where do you get off pressuring them not to let their kids go? Parent your own child. Being a helipcopter/overly cautious parent is really hard, but that's your choice. But you know what? Being a parent that gives their kids' some freedom to make decisions/choices is also very hard. Stop being so judgy and focus on your parenting decisions, not other people's.

Really liked this post. Needed to be said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Freshman kids, well known party house with no supervision, and a large group of parents are letting their 15 year olds hang there all the time and sleep over. They all know what’s going on but don’t care. I’m pissed as these are my kid’s friends and I have reached out to the parents to see if we can be on the same page, and no-go. It’s craziness. Makes it very hard to parent and be the only one in the friend group not allowing it, which I have to do.

Oh well...everyone makes different choices, and you need to live with yours or, as others have suggested, your kid needs to find new friends. I'm so tired of parents wanting other parents to change their approach to parenting so that your job is easier.

This is the same debate that goes on about MS kids and cell phones. The parents who don't let their kids have cell phones just can't believe that the other parents are permitting it because it makes it so hard to say no. Oh well....either continue to say no and suck it up, or let your kid have a cell phone (or go to the party or whatever it is you are resisting). The parents who are letting their kids go to the party aren't pressuring you to let your DC go too (I assume), so where do you get off pressuring them not to let their kids go? Parent your own child. Being a helipcopter/overly cautious parent is really hard, but that's your choice. But you know what? Being a parent that gives their kids' some freedom to make decisions/choices is also very hard. Stop being so judgy and focus on your parenting decisions, not other people's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are free range parents. Kids can do what they want with no limits. The reality is the parents get free range of not parenting their kids as kids were a status symbol and they want to be cool/fun friends not parents.

yes, there are parents who want their kids to be popular/cool over all else even if it means being completely permissive. I'm starting to notice this now in middle school.

Yes but do you really think this is free range or permissive parenting when EVERYONE but OP is ok with it? Maybe, but not likely.

OP thanks for feedback. Realize title was judge mental. Just frustrated. I’ve had teens at theee different private schools, There was always some cohesion among the parents on this stuff with my other kids’ social group. But this school and child are different and it’s been much tougher. I’ve seen a lot and this is pretty outside the norm. I’m far from over protective or naive.

I'm not OP and I am NOT ok with it.

Anonymous wrote:
The most critical point is that each child is different and may be safer or happier or both with rules that are tailored for him or her.

My 8th grader has a lethal nut allergy and because of this I always try to chaperone field trips. In the future I don’t want him to become impaired at a party one night and forget to check a list of ingredients!

The goal is for all these kids to be independent one day, but some may take longer to get there, and need a different environment than other kids.