Op, you have the easiest divorce situation in the world. Move and take the new job. Divorce. No kids.

1. Find an attorney and get actual legal advice on how to handle this under your state’s laws.

2. Following the advice obtained in 1, accept the job, tell your spouse it’s over, and prepare to move to your new job.

Accept the job. Schedule a time before the job starts to go and look for an apartment and check out the area. Let him know that you accepted the job, when you will be visiting the new city and when you will be moving. If you live in MD, it will be much easier to file for divorce once you've been separated for at least a year.

So at this point, you tell him what you are about to do,

You remind him that you aren't happy in the marriage and that efforts to fix it have been unsuccessful. That at this point you are ready to separate and move on. Let him know you will be moving out in two months. Tell him you want to get all the financial and house affairs in order so that this can go as smoothly as possible. When he asks where you will go, tell him you are moving to another city for a fresh start. Talk about the plan to get the divorce papers filed.

I don’t understand you. It seems you want to divorce but you are waiting for him to make a decision for you or at least to ‘give you his blessing’. Well, maybe he still believes in the promise to be with you all life. If you really want a divorce you should be ready to deal with the feelings of being the one initiating the process, in other word to take responsibilities for your own choices and how these choices will impact your family.

Anonymous wrote:OP again -- after the most uncomfortable Easter at relatives, more than ready to get going. But how in the world do I do this if I am going to walk out the door to a new job in a new state (as if the move and job aren't enough to get my blood pressure up)?

You just do it. Accept the job. Find a place to live. Move out. File papers.

OP again -- after the most uncomfortable Easter at relatives, more than ready to get going. But how in the world do I do this if I am going to walk out the door to a new job in a new state (as if the move and job aren't enough to get my blood pressure up)?

Anonymous wrote:What exactly do you expect your spouse to do?

Exactly. If you're the one who wants the divorce, the initiative is wholly and fully on you.

This is the most asinine thread here. Words are just words until you act on them like everyone has said. When I wanted a divorce I moved into the guest bedroom. After that I realized it was best I move out altogether so I found an apartment and at that point figured it was time to get an attorney and did so. We mutually agreed on everything but you don’t just “start divorcing” until you actually take a step.