Anonymous
Post 04/19/2019 00:06     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My philosophy on these issues is always to say something, even anonymously, because in her shoes I’d want to know, 100% of the time. Not everyone thinks this way however. Some people will truly prefer to keep their heads in the sand and I figure these are the people telling you to MYOB.


There are a lot of cultures in this world where people are less sexually repressed and not as obsessed with the behavior of others as Americans are, cultures where physical affection (not sex) between men and women friends in public is not uncommon. You should keep that in mind.


That’s nice. In which case, no big deal if she tells the wife in a note with no name attached.


If she wants to be seen as a sexually-repressed busybody with nothing better to do with her life, sure.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 23:48     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My philosophy on these issues is always to say something, even anonymously, because in her shoes I’d want to know, 100% of the time. Not everyone thinks this way however. Some people will truly prefer to keep their heads in the sand and I figure these are the people telling you to MYOB.


There are a lot of cultures in this world where people are less sexually repressed and not as obsessed with the behavior of others as Americans are, cultures where physical affection (not sex) between men and women friends in public is not uncommon. You should keep that in mind.


That’s nice. In which case, no big deal if she tells the wife in a note with no name attached.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 23:40     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
Anonymous wrote:My philosophy on these issues is always to say something, even anonymously, because in her shoes I’d want to know, 100% of the time. Not everyone thinks this way however. Some people will truly prefer to keep their heads in the sand and I figure these are the people telling you to MYOB.


Him hugging and kissing a woman in public, right in front of the local grocery store seems to indicate that he does not care if anyone sees him, in fact, it sounds like he wants to be caught if he's being that brazen about it.

His wife either already knows or she will know soon enough. .
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 23:36     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
Anonymous wrote:My philosophy on these issues is always to say something, even anonymously, because in her shoes I’d want to know, 100% of the time. Not everyone thinks this way however. Some people will truly prefer to keep their heads in the sand and I figure these are the people telling you to MYOB.


There are a lot of cultures in this world where people are less sexually repressed and not as obsessed with the behavior of others as Americans are, cultures where physical affection (not sex) between men and women friends in public is not uncommon. You should keep that in mind.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 23:31     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A guy I went to college with saw a married female colleague leaving a hotel room that wasn't hers while they were on a conference trip.

He jokingly told her he'd tell her husband if she didn't give him a BJ.

She actually gave him one. He said he felt pretty bad about it but it was obvious that she was pretty much a tramp.


He should feel pretty bad it's sextortion and it's a serious crime. Whether he was joking or not the fact that she complied does not obviously make her a tramp it means she was coerced into performing a sexual act for fear of the threat of something terrible happening. It's sick and depraved and it is no different than any other form of gender-based violence against women. It's no different than when teachers coerce sex acts from students in exchange for fair grades, no different than when landlords demand sex in lieu of rent, no different than when judges extort sex in exchange for favorable custody decisions. It's the equivalent of putting a gun to a woman's head and requesting they provide you with a sexual favor in return for sparing their life. Consent cannot occur in a situation where the person is coerced, such as when they have a gun to their head, or are under threat of something terrible happening. Blackmail is a form of coercion. The guy you went to college with belongs in jail.



What a nutter!
Let me guess, you are a gender studies student? Lol
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 23:29     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
My philosophy on these issues is always to say something, even anonymously, because in her shoes I’d want to know, 100% of the time. Not everyone thinks this way however. Some people will truly prefer to keep their heads in the sand and I figure these are the people telling you to MYOB.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 23:27     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
Anonymous wrote:OP you need to take responsibility for having seen this and get involved. You cannot just sit back and let others get away with immoral acts it is your moral and civic duty to intervene whenever possible to keep others on the straight and narrow. Not only is their marriage at stake but the plight of your respective children is at stake. A secret affair could potentially result in a messy divorce and have that kid your child plays with plunging down an emotional spiral of fear, anger, resentment, and depression that could potentially impact your child. You absolutely have to do something immediately!


People who really think like that should move to Saudi Arabia, where their moral posturing will be rewarded by getting to see the offending man lashed and the offending woman buried up to her chest and stoned to death.

The rest of us will do the polite thing and mind our own business. Because the '50s were over a long time ago.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 23:24     Subject: Re:Neighbor with another woman
Many years ago, in my 20s, I was taking a walk in my old neighborhood with my father. Maybe I was visiting them while in college or home for a weekend after I had moved out.

A few days later, one of my mother's friends told her she saw my dad walking with some woman. My mom had to tell her, um, that was our daughter. I suspect the woman was looking for some drama.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 22:33     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
The simplest explanation is always the most likely. Why do so many women CRAVE drama? Not just "I bet so-and-so is having an affair!" but "So-and-so IS having an affair AND I have to swoop in and tell his wife AND I bet he's going to try and put his hand up my skort at Larlo and Jorbo's next playdate!" Please.

Close friend.
Family member, and your misinterpreted the affection?
Open relationship.
Not even the same guy and you were wrong.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 22:26     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
Anonymous wrote:I would find a way to tell the husband I saw him... like next time j was over for a play date, say "oh John, I saw you last Tuesday at the grocery store! I didnt get a chance to say hi." Then look at him in the eye. His reaction will convey exactly what you saw. Do it in front of his wife.


This. Or, next time you see the wife, just casually say “I saw your DH at the grocery store the other day. He was with someone so I didn’t say hi.” She can then ask her DH about it if she wants to.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 22:15     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
Was it for sure a romantic hug/kiss. Could it be a relative?

I saw a coworkers husband out once with another woman (and they were being quite flirty). The next day I just mentioned casually to her that I had seen Joe at the drug store. I also said I hope he didn't think I was rude, I didn't speak to him but I saw he was there with this friend and I didn't want to intrude. She then asked me questions and I answered honestly. I could tell she was rattled and suspected something. She told me the next day that she had mentioned to him that I had seen him and he said he didn't see me and that he was there with another coworker picking up supplies for work. I really don't think she believed him fully but I just made chit chat and went on my day. They are still together.

I feel like this worked well. I didn't make any kind of accusation but I planted a seed based on suspicious behavior and let her decide what to do or not do about it.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 22:05     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A guy I went to college with saw a married female colleague leaving a hotel room that wasn't hers while they were on a conference trip.

He jokingly told her he'd tell her husband if she didn't give him a BJ.

She actually gave him one. He said he felt pretty bad about it but it was obvious that she was pretty much a tramp.


I'm really surprised that he confessed to you that he raped her. You should report this to the police.



I'm really embarrassed for you that you can confidently proclaim that a rape occurred just from reading a post about a single sided, second hand, 20 year old story without a complainant. I guarantee you voted for HRC.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 21:33     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous letter. Font 12.

Letter at least
Take some pics, print them out put in said letter
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 21:33     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
A neighbor saw a man leaving my house at 1 am while my husband was out of town and told my husband. My husband and I had a good laugh about it because it was a very married friend of ours from grad school who happened to be in town on business. We hadn't seen each other in five years and had a lot to catch up on so we stayed up late drinking wine and talking. My husband knew he would be stopping by and this would likely happen. My husband and I have been together for two decades and don't have trust issues in our relationship. MYOB.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 21:31     Subject: Neighbor with another woman
OP, mind your own business. It's possible you didn't see what you thought you saw.