Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like the idea of a man proposing. Don’t care what others do. But there are some of us that like convention, and like traditional roles. We shouldn’t be judged anymore than people who don’t.

I disagree. There are conventions that are extremely sexist and I think it is important to single them out. Like asking permission to the woman’s father, for example.

I don’t know anyone who asked his future FIL for permission and I’m a boomer.

It is tradition. But it is a tradition no one is obligated to follow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a nice tradition

I would say no if a woman proposed to me even if I was planning on proposing to her - it is denying me a moment that is special for all men

“For all men”? Uh, no.

For men that get married, yes

Wrong. I am a straight married woman, but I think that there must be nothing worse for relationships and marriage regarding gender roles than straight marriages sometimes.

Isomehow, gay couples figure all of this stuff out without the gender politics. Which to me goes to show that it's not innate. It's all artificial

Women don't because they would never recover from the rejection. Men are use to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question! Why should a woman wait for the man to propose? If she’s ready to make that next step, why can’t she propose to him?

Because if a man doesn't propose, he doesn't want to marry you. That's why you can't propose to him.

I agree with this somewhat. I feel like a marriage discussion is normal, healthy, and usually happens by most couples and the proposals are more of a when than an if by the time they happen- I still think the man should be the one to formally ask the question with a ring he purchased.

I think a relationship has a better chance for happiness and longevity if the man is a tiny bit more smitten with the women than she is with him. Proposing and buying a ring are two big steps that he takes independently to show his love to the woman and level of commitment to the relationship...before getting married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a nice tradition

I would say no if a woman proposed to me even if I was planning on proposing to her - it is denying me a moment that is special for all men

“For all men”? Uh, no.

For men that get married, yes

I think if you have to ask a man to marry you, he really isn’t that into you.

For us, the actual proposal with the ring was just the verbal formality, sort of like wedding vows or a will signing ceremony.

We’d hashed out everything before the proposal: finances, religion, where to live, kids, etc. By the time of the formal proposal we’d already decided to get married and bought the ring together..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[quote=
Your worth as a woman isn't determined by any one dude wanting to propose. However, the dude's desire to marry you is definitely determined by whether or not he proposes. That's all there's to it.

That’s all there is to it. It’s clear and definitive that a man who initiates Proposal unquestionably desires to marry YOU. Because they’re asking the question, and don’t need convincing. They just want the answer. They have their own process of decisionmaking that can differ from their woman’s. Not sure how this works with gay couples, I can see it bring much more semantic in a heterosexual relationship with male and female gender roles.

Why does he get to decide?

He doesn't. He gets to ask. You get to decide whether to say yes or no.