Anonymous wrote:Lots of women say “challenge me”. What the heck does that mean?

It doesn’t sound good.

PP Any recommendations for dating sites? Doubt I will start with this now with Covid going on, but I guess this will give me some time to research.

"I love fresh air and water and being outside"

NP Recently divorced and never have used a dating site. Not looking forward to this...

Lots of women say “challenge me”. What the heck does that mean?

Anonymous wrote:"I can't tell you how many women I know who have husbands that hate walks on the beach. The men refused to even go to the beach for a long weekend. Couple divorced. Man posts prominently that I loves long walks on the beach."

Maybe the husbands hated walks on the beach with their insufferable wives but actually enjoy walks on the beach with other women they have met since becoming single again. (Or maybe they are lying jerks; there's not enough data here.)

I love to travel, but hated traveling with my ex. Every word out of her mouth was a complaint--usually directed at me for "being wrong".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious what everyone else says in their OLD profiles to make themselves stand out? The laundry lists of what you don't want make you look unhinged, so I don't see a problem with posting what you DO enjoy. Besides, 99% if the decision is based off of the photo and then the presence of obvious deal-breakers (children, smoking, location, relationship goals, etc).

My profile did not have a picture, but I gave a verbal description of my looks, height, weight, and said something along the lines of “will happily provide a picture if you give me a good reason why you need it”. Had enough takers and interesting conversations followed by dates, but ended up meeting my husband through my hobby. However, not having a picture turned out to be a good screen.

I’m surprised people bothered. There are so many people out there and why go through the effort of convincing you I have a good reason to get your picture when there is a reasonable chance (based simply on numbers and probabilities) that I won’t be interested five seconds after receiving it - and I would say the same to someone seeing my pic, so this is not a matter of being cocky. There is a reason most people of both genders scroll through quickly.

That was 15 years ago, before all the swiping.

I’m PP. I met my spouse online 13+ years ago. Even then, pre-swiping, I would have never reached out to someone without a picture, particularly if someone had a comment that I had to earn the picture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My profile did not have a picture, but I gave a verbal description of my looks, height, weight, and said something along the lines of “will happily provide a picture if you give me a good reason why you need it”. Had enough takers and interesting conversations followed by dates, but ended up meeting my husband through my hobby. However, not having a picture turned out to be a good screen.

How many years ago was this? I don't think this would work today. It's kind of a ridiculous approach to online dating, IMHO. Would you buy a piece of clothing or furniture online that had no pictures but just a description of the object? I guess you could say that providing a picture for people to judge is inviting them to be shallow, but if a guy doesn't provide a picture, I assume he's either disfiguringly ugly, or is in a relationship/married and trying to hide his trail so his friends don't see him online dating. For better or for worse, physical appearance is important in a relationship and not providing a picture is hamstringing your efforts from the get go.

Thanks for illustrating the situation I was trying to avoid. I take (took prior to COVID) subway every day in NY, so I am well aware of the whole range of looks out there, and being disfiguringly ugly is very, very rare. On top of that, trying to “trick” someone into meeting them in this way would be extremely stupid. So, yes, I’d like to avoid dealing with guys who interpret any unclear situation as a negative event which has an extremely low probability in real life. It’s a specific attitude, and no, I don’t want that. I understand types, that’s why I wrote that I am a petite brunette - no need to bother if someone is into tall blondes. Anyway, I definitely got fewer dates than I would with a pic, but the quality was good- less time wasted too.

"I can't tell you how many women I know who have husbands that hate walks on the beach. The men refused to even go to the beach for a long weekend. Couple divorced. Man posts prominently that I loves long walks on the beach."

Maybe the husbands hated walks on the beach with their insufferable wives but actually enjoy walks on the beach with other women they have met since becoming single again. (Or maybe they are lying jerks; there's not enough data here.)

Anonymous wrote:My profile did not have a picture, but I gave a verbal description of my looks, height, weight, and said something along the lines of “will happily provide a picture if you give me a good reason why you need it”. Had enough takers and interesting conversations followed by dates, but ended up meeting my husband through my hobby. However, not having a picture turned out to be a good screen.

How many years ago was this? I don't think this would work today. It's kind of a ridiculous approach to online dating, IMHO. Would you buy a piece of clothing or furniture online that had no pictures but just a description of the object? I guess you could say that providing a picture for people to judge is inviting them to be shallow, but if a guy doesn't provide a picture, I assume he's either disfiguringly ugly, or is in a relationship/married and trying to hide his trail so his friends don't see him online dating. For better or for worse, physical appearance is important in a relationship and not providing a picture is hamstringing your efforts from the get go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The picture thing doesn't bother me at all because I don't know about you, but I don't have photos of myself doing everyday things like sitting at my desk or driving my car. If people had random self portraits or something, I'd think that was more bizarre.

You must be the only woman who doesn't, because many, many female OLD photos are selfies taken in the car or at work. (Slightly better than the ones taken in her pigsty of a bathroom, but still.)

Who has pictures of themselves driving? That's insane.

Incredibly common. Hopefully taken while stopped at a light.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The picture thing doesn't bother me at all because I don't know about you, but I don't have photos of myself doing everyday things like sitting at my desk or driving my car. If people had random self portraits or something, I'd think that was more bizarre.

You must be the only woman who doesn't, because many, many female OLD photos are selfies taken in the car or at work. (Slightly better than the ones taken in her pigsty of a bathroom, but still.)

Who has pictures of themselves driving? That's insane.