Anonymous
04/03/2019 18:45
Subject: Re:Latest on the 13 year old dating scene?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is a range of answers to this question. My 15 year old didn't go a "real date" until summer after 9th grade. But, I would have permitted it summer leading up to 9th grade for sure. Movie dates may well be for making out. So be sure you have some key conversations before you OK the one-on-one movie date. I also have a 13 y/old 7th grader in a co-ed private school. One "couple" in the grade is vacationing together this Spring Break and is regularly tickling each other at school. So, there is no one answer. My advice, is to slow it down as much as possible and encourage group activities without causing a huge conflict.
Simultaneously, you need to have serious talks about making out, not pushing girls past their comfort zones, kissing and telling, sexting. Cover a range of topics related to sexual ethics. You want to start these conversations early and have them often.
The average 13yo boy would rather be set on fire than hear any of that shit from his mom.
Which is why he needs to hear it.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 08:27
Subject: Latest on the 13 year old dating scene?
My DS (13 yo) told us just yesterday that he has a girlfriend now. I asked him what that means and he said it just means that they hang out at school sometimes. He then asked if he was was allowed to have a girlfriend. Apparently the girl's friends pushed him to ask her to be his girlfriend.
I don't want to be naive but it sounds pretty innocent at this point. I fought the urge to ask him too many questions and to lecture him. But I will do that it, in short blocks, from time to time.
I don't want to be naive but it sounds pretty innocent at this point. I fought the urge to ask him too many questions and to lecture him. But I will do that it, in short blocks, from time to time.
Anonymous
04/02/2019 14:13
Subject: Re:Latest on the 13 year old dating scene?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is a range of answers to this question. My 15 year old didn't go a "real date" until summer after 9th grade. But, I would have permitted it summer leading up to 9th grade for sure. Movie dates may well be for making out. So be sure you have some key conversations before you OK the one-on-one movie date. I also have a 13 y/old 7th grader in a co-ed private school. One "couple" in the grade is vacationing together this Spring Break and is regularly tickling each other at school. So, there is no one answer. My advice, is to slow it down as much as possible and encourage group activities without causing a huge conflict.
Simultaneously, you need to have serious talks about making out, not pushing girls past their comfort zones, kissing and telling, sexting. Cover a range of topics related to sexual ethics. You want to start these conversations early and have them often.
The average 13yo boy would rather be set on fire than hear any of that shit from his mom.
Tough shit. Those conversations need to happen early and often. And if he can't hear them or talk about them, he shouldn't be doing them.
This is for his own safety as much as for that of his date. And the conversations on the girl side need to happen also (lest I be accused of accusing only the precious boys in this matter).
Sure, go ahead, give your son a preachy lecture about "sexual ethics" that he will tune out. You will feel smug and virtuous, and you can tell all your girlfriends that you are not raising a rapist, and that's really the important thing here.
DP. I teach my DS about "sexual ethics" not to be preachy, but to let him know the standards society is now holding young boys to. Of course I don't want to raise a rapist, but I also don't want to raise one that's falsely accused of rape because he wasn't aware that sometimes regret becomes "rape." That joking can be "sexual harassment," that ranking girls by looks can lead to suspension or worse....It's not always about being PC, sometimes it's about teaching self preservation. I don't want my DS ever forwarding picture of naked girls (1) because it's not ok and (2) going to jail for child distributing pornography and becoming someone's bit*h it's fun.