Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

I still think this is a troll. What grandparent would show up from overseas and post on DVUM?

Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

so it comes down to who pays, huh? Very telling, OP. So you're really just a cheap mooch. Ick. I'm sure your DIL is counting the days until you leave. Do you have eyes? Do you see that your son and his family are very, very busy?

If you're from another country how do you know about DCUM? Still think OP's a troll.

The nanny hates that you’re there. Just know that. Go out of your way to take over some of the dinner preparation, don’t expect her to cook for you, and do something with the kids. Make yourself useful not like another child that needs to be catered to.

I’m a nanny and finally had to point blank tell the kids dad that his dad was like having three additional kids around and gave examples. He expected me to prepare meals for him and got mad when I didn’t, accused me of locking him out of the house when the door was sticky from the heat and humidity, stepped in a peanut butter sandwich the toddler threw on the floor and knowingly walked around with it on his shoe ten minutes after the house cleaners left. It was really difficult having him around but the kids mom would just complain about it instead of saying something. I finally said something things improved somewhat. Don’t make the nanny have this conversation with her employers. You’re an adult. Take care of yourself and your family.

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Anonymous wrote:When we have family guests and I am working, I feel responsible for feeding them a decent dinner. I have breakfast, lunch and snack items on hand that they can feed themselves. They are also more than welcome to go to the grocery store to get any preferred items. It's nice if they cook a meal but I certainly don't expect it UNLESS the visit is billed as a "helping" visit, where they are there specifically to help out vs be a guest.

And how often have you had family guests stay with you for 2+ weeks when you aren't on vacation/off from work yourself?

With one side of the family living outside of the US and the other out west, several times a year. I cook dinner for my family every night-why wouldn't I cook for guests? That's not to say that the majority of our visitors just sit around waiting to be fed. Many times they'll let us know that they are going to be out for the day and will not return in time for dinner.

YOU cook dinner for your family every night? I'd like to know how your partners/spouse helps out.

Why is it so unbelievable that someone cooks dinner every night?

I don't know any family that lives in the DC metro area who doesn't order delivery food once every week or two. Or a night when a parent stops to pick something up to bring home. Or a night where you go out. Or a night of leftovers. And if I have guests who are staying with me for WEEKS, I certainly expect there would be a night or two when they treat us. I just think what she has posted is unbelievable...but now she admits she only works until 3 most days then she has more time than most working parents have for preparing meals.

You can believe me or not as you wish, but we just don’t eat out/do take out very often and when we do it’s because we’re out and about on a Saturday afternoon and stop for lunch. That’s the way I was raised, and I don’t view it as being superior. It’s just normal to me. And yes I get off of work at 3 because I start at 7. I’m usually home at about 430 after my commute and two pick ups.

Your son told you to go to the grocery store. If you don’t like the food situation, take it up with him. You’re adults, figure it out.
Look into instacart and galley foods. Instacart will deliver all your groceries to the door and galley delivers prepared fully cooked meals.
If you can post on DCUM, either of these services are just as easy to use.

I also love to snack when I'm on vacation, but it doesn't seem like your son and his family are on vacation, are they?

You yourself acknowledge they have very limited time. Why don't you go out for groceries and cook them a nice meal from your native country? Or if your DIL doesn't want you in her kitchen, pick up some takeout and treat your family?

I normally don't think grandparents should have to babysit, cook, etc. to help out their kids and their families, but if you are visiting and staying for an extended period of time in someone else's house, yes, you should help out in any way you can.

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Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

OP returns!!!

I think you'll have to provide your own food if they don't have a huge stockpile for you to eat from. They sound very busy, so maybe this wasn't the best time to visit?

If you want to play with the grandkids, do you have activities lined up? Are you giving them their baths and reading to them? I dream of my parents reading or bathing to my kids (my kid's favorite night activities).

And ask your son to take you to the grocery store tonight. You expect one or both of them to take vacation while you are here in order to host you properly. That's not the situation, so you should adapt.

Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

OP returns!!!

I think you'll have to provide your own food if they don't have a huge stockpile for you to eat from. They sound very busy, so maybe this wasn't the best time to visit?

If you want to play with the grandkids, do you have activities lined up? Are you giving them their baths and reading to them? I dream of my parents reading or bathing to my kids (my kid's favorite night activities).

We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

What are you talking about? They have a nanny housekeeper doing their dinners with the food they already bought! You need to go buy and make your own damn breakfast, snacks and lunches.

I don’t see a concern here at all.

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Anonymous wrote:When we have family guests and I am working, I feel responsible for feeding them a decent dinner. I have breakfast, lunch and snack items on hand that they can feed themselves. They are also more than welcome to go to the grocery store to get any preferred items. It's nice if they cook a meal but I certainly don't expect it UNLESS the visit is billed as a "helping" visit, where they are there specifically to help out vs be a guest.

And how often have you had family guests stay with you for 2+ weeks when you aren't on vacation/off from work yourself?

With one side of the family living outside of the US and the other out west, several times a year. I cook dinner for my family every night-why wouldn't I cook for guests? That's not to say that the majority of our visitors just sit around waiting to be fed. Many times they'll let us know that they are going to be out for the day and will not return in time for dinner.

YOU cook dinner for your family every night? I'd like to know how your partners/spouse helps out.

Why is it so unbelievable that someone cooks dinner every night?

I don't know any family that lives in the DC metro area who doesn't order delivery food once every week or two. Or a night when a parent stops to pick something up to bring home. Or a night where you go out. Or a night of leftovers. And if I have guests who are staying with me for WEEKS, I certainly expect there would be a night or two when they treat us. I just think what she has posted is unbelievable...but now she admits she only works until 3 most days then she has more time than most working parents have for preparing meals.

And let me clarify...I don't know any family that lives in the DC metro area AND WHO HAS TWO PARENT WORKING FULL-TIME

What?! I barely know any families who have a SAHM. Most of my friends are in equally stressful jobs as their DHs. DH and I cook every night, but we live close to work and have sub 10 minute commutes.

Guys, the post and the one above are tied together. I think she meant she doesn’t know any families with two working parents who don’t order out a lot.

Haha! Yes! Sorry. I'm the one who posted this and realized that I should have specified that I was referring to families where there are two working parents....but I can see that my follow-up was confusing. sorry.

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Anonymous wrote:When we have family guests and I am working, I feel responsible for feeding them a decent dinner. I have breakfast, lunch and snack items on hand that they can feed themselves. They are also more than welcome to go to the grocery store to get any preferred items. It's nice if they cook a meal but I certainly don't expect it UNLESS the visit is billed as a "helping" visit, where they are there specifically to help out vs be a guest.

And how often have you had family guests stay with you for 2+ weeks when you aren't on vacation/off from work yourself?

With one side of the family living outside of the US and the other out west, several times a year. I cook dinner for my family every night-why wouldn't I cook for guests? That's not to say that the majority of our visitors just sit around waiting to be fed. Many times they'll let us know that they are going to be out for the day and will not return in time for dinner.

YOU cook dinner for your family every night? I'd like to know how your partners/spouse helps out.

Why is it so unbelievable that someone cooks dinner every night?

I don't know any family that lives in the DC metro area who doesn't order delivery food once every week or two. Or a night when a parent stops to pick something up to bring home. Or a night where you go out. Or a night of leftovers. And if I have guests who are staying with me for WEEKS, I certainly expect there would be a night or two when they treat us. I just think what she has posted is unbelievable...but now she admits she only works until 3 most days then she has more time than most working parents have for preparing meals.

And let me clarify...I don't know any family that lives in the DC metro area AND WHO HAS TWO PARENT WORKING FULL-TIME

What?! I barely know any families who have a SAHM. Most of my friends are in equally stressful jobs as their DHs. DH and I cook every night, but we live close to work and have sub 10 minute commutes.

Guys, the post and the one above are tied together. I think she meant she doesn’t know any families with two working parents who don’t order out a lot.

Can you afford to rent a car?

Anonymous wrote:lol this has to be a troll

Surely.