Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She falls during a walk and "He kind of froze and became a lighthouse, opening and closing his mouth." This is endearing and makes her love him.

Uh, ok? also: lighthouse? does she know what they actually do?

That lighthouse description makes perfect sense to me. That is exactly my sister. Tall, standing there, gulping air... something is registering... but guaranteed her triaging of questions/concerns/comments will be off the wall and most likely unhelpful but logical and very entertaining when it does come.

Not following. How do your sister’s actions remind you of a lighthouse?

you seem hung up on lighthouses. Pick any other inanimate object 'the light is on but no one is home' reference and use that if you are so confounded.

Didn’t realize asking a question was being “hung up”. But thanks anyway b!tch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is HFA (would be considered Aspergers). Our therapist said, don't worry, she's a man's dream, she will never want to talk about her feelings. And it's true. She will probably end up married to an engineer and they will be blissfully happy never staying up late talking about feelings.

I don’t think a disability is any mans dream.

Why is that a disability?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is HFA (would be considered Aspergers). Our therapist said, don't worry, she's a man's dream, she will never want to talk about her feelings. And it's true. She will probably end up married to an engineer and they will be blissfully happy never staying up late talking about feelings.

I don’t think a disability is any mans dream.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is HFA (would be considered Aspergers). Our therapist said, don't worry, she's a man's dream, she will never want to talk about her feelings. And it's true. She will probably end up married to an engineer and they will be blissfully happy never staying up late talking about feelings.

Anonymous wrote: I know there will lots of opinions which is awesome, but and I also know some here don't really care to hear about those who are higher functioning so I apologize and please skip if this doesn't give you the warm fuzzies or if it upsets you. It really gave me a lot of hope. The things she loved most about him were quirks related to his different way of relating. I also think she is helping normalize dating and marrying someone on the spectrum. It seems like nobody would think twice if you married someone with ADHD, but autism people might side eye. She can add humor to the experience and make it something cool. Not expressing myself well, but it just really made me feel hopefully that is a milestone my child on the spectrum might reach. I really want my child to find a life long partner one day who finds the quirks endearing. Not trying to be hetereocentric...I wouldn't mind which gender the partner is as long as it's a good match.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/celebrity/amy-schumer-reveals-husband-chris-fischer-is-on-the-autism-spectrum/ar-BBUUQgo?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=iehp

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how long Amy Schumer's marriage will last. She has just scratched the tip of the iceberg. She has no idea what she is getting herself into. I believe my DH is on the spectrum. One time I fell while holding our toddler and he had zero reaction. Anything that comes out of my mouth he takes the wrong way and gets easily offended.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I know there will lots of opinions which is awesome, but and I also know some here don't really care to hear about those who are higher functioning so I apologize and please skip if this doesn't give you the warm fuzzies or if it upsets you. It really gave me a lot of hope. The things she loved most about him were quirks related to his different way of relating. I also think she is helping normalize dating and marrying someone on the spectrum. It seems like nobody would think twice if you married someone with ADHD, but autism people might side eye. She can add humor to the experience and make it something cool. Not expressing myself well, but it just really made me feel hopefully that is a milestone my child on the spectrum might reach. I really want my child to find a life long partner one day who finds the quirks endearing. Not trying to be hetereocentric...I wouldn't mind which gender the partner is as long as it's a good match.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/celebrity/amy-schumer-reveals-husband-chris-fischer-is-on-the-autism-spectrum/ar-BBUUQgo?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=iehp

My oldest DC is on the HFA end of the autism “spectrum” or tree. The facilitator of his weekly therapy group said that he will probably get marred later rather than earlier and that as some point, some women will seek him out because he is kind, intelligent, reliable, true and will have a good safe job (he is majoring in computer engineering).

My sister who is 40 is just about to marry a 43 year old man with HFA. He is an awesome guy and treats her really well. he works really hard to do all the right boyfriend / husband things - he researched and created a list and keeps adding to it as he finds other things he can do! He doesn't always get it right in terms of execution but just the effort he puts in to wanting to be the best boyfriend / husband is almost as good.

I'd rather be with someone like him ^^^ over the self-absorbed, narcissists I run into on a daily basis! Good for your sister!

+1

Beware, there are HFA (and non HFA) that are narcissists!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many, many, many happily married people that would have been diagnosed with autism if they were children today, but it wasn’t being diagnosed back then.

THIS.
Not to sidetrack this post but I've been married 17 years (been together almost 25 years). My DH and I have hit a really rough patch and I want a divorce. I've been replaying our relationship in my head and thinking about all of the decisions that he's made in the midst of a mid-life crisis that have upended our family. My youngest DS has mild learning challenges and exhibits some behaviors that I've questioned over the years. He's been assessed for everything and nothing on the spectrum was identified. All this to say... I've recently began to wonder if my DH is on the spectrum; some of the quirks and repetitive nature of certain behaviors. The anxiety, rote nature of his understanding and responses, etc...

This post is like an epiphany. I've lost of empathy and compassion for him because some of the things that he's done has had a really negative financial effect on our lives. However, this adds a little perspective. I know... I'm rambling but I really love my DH. He's an awesome individual. So wondering if there is just some underlying, undiagnosed issue that has finally reared its ugly head in a very, very bad way.

Hey -- I'm the one who posted the link to the NPR piece on "The Journal of Best Practices," which is what David Finch called the notes he took on how to conduct himself around people who didn't have autism. It all started because his wife thought they needed to get divorced, and then she realized what was going on with him.

The possible difference with his situation is that he was open to her idea and wanted to change. Don't know where your DH comes down on that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many, many, many happily married people that would have been diagnosed with autism if they were children today, but it wasn’t being diagnosed back then.

THIS.
Not to sidetrack this post but I've been married 17 years (been together almost 25 years). My DH and I have hit a really rough patch and I want a divorce. I've been replaying our relationship in my head and thinking about all of the decisions that he's made in the midst of a mid-life crisis that have upended our family. My youngest DS has mild learning challenges and exhibits some behaviors that I've questioned over the years. He's been assessed for everything and nothing on the spectrum was identified. All this to say... I've recently began to wonder if my DH is on the spectrum; some of the quirks and repetitive nature of certain behaviors. The anxiety, rote nature of his understanding and responses, etc...

This post is like an epiphany. I've lost of empathy and compassion for him because some of the things that he's done has had a really negative financial effect on our lives. However, this adds a little perspective. I know... I'm rambling but I really love my DH. He's an awesome individual. So wondering if there is just some underlying, undiagnosed issue that has finally reared its ugly head in a very, very bad way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, he's just a guy like a lot of guys. Are all engineers, male or female on the spectrum. No. Labeling is pretty ridiculous now. What is the purpose of it? Does he need an IEP code?

Um, no not all engineers are on the spectrum. Also not everyone on the spectrum not some magical stem unicorn of brilliance.

No one said engineers are brilliant. ..but yeah about 80% of engineers have that symptom list down pretty tight- male and female. Ecen they joke about it. AND tonight, there is a group of IT types in their 30s or 40s playing D&D in a living room that someone else organized for them.

My fiance is a brilliant engineer. He once told me he thought he was on the spectrum

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She falls during a walk and "He kind of froze and became a lighthouse, opening and closing his mouth." This is endearing and makes her love him.

Uh, ok? also: lighthouse? does she know what they actually do?

That lighthouse description makes perfect sense to me. That is exactly my sister. Tall, standing there, gulping air... something is registering... but guaranteed her triaging of questions/concerns/comments will be off the wall and most likely unhelpful but logical and very entertaining when it does come.

Not following. How do your sister’s actions remind you of a lighthouse?

you seem hung up on lighthouses. Pick any other inanimate object 'the light is on but no one is home' reference and use that if you are so confounded.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I know there will lots of opinions which is awesome, but and I also know some here don't really care to hear about those who are higher functioning so I apologize and please skip if this doesn't give you the warm fuzzies or if it upsets you. It really gave me a lot of hope. The things she loved most about him were quirks related to his different way of relating. I also think she is helping normalize dating and marrying someone on the spectrum. It seems like nobody would think twice if you married someone with ADHD, but autism people might side eye. She can add humor to the experience and make it something cool. Not expressing myself well, but it just really made me feel hopefully that is a milestone my child on the spectrum might reach. I really want my child to find a life long partner one day who finds the quirks endearing. Not trying to be hetereocentric...I wouldn't mind which gender the partner is as long as it's a good match.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/celebrity/amy-schumer-reveals-husband-chris-fischer-is-on-the-autism-spectrum/ar-BBUUQgo?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=iehp

My oldest DC is on the HFA end of the autism “spectrum” or tree. The facilitator of his weekly therapy group said that he will probably get marred later rather than earlier and that as some point, some women will seek him out because he is kind, intelligent, reliable, true and will have a good safe job (he is majoring in computer engineering).

My sister who is 40 is just about to marry a 43 year old man with HFA. He is an awesome guy and treats her really well. he works really hard to do all the right boyfriend / husband things - he researched and created a list and keeps adding to it as he finds other things he can do! He doesn't always get it right in terms of execution but just the effort he puts in to wanting to be the best boyfriend / husband is almost as good.

I'd rather be with someone like him ^^^ over the self-absorbed, narcissists I run into on a daily basis! Good for your sister!