Anonymous wrote:I think you have it or you don’t but kids can be taught to catch up. Some just have to work harder so the big difference to me is how hard you have to work to master academics.

I agree, from my own observations.

Anonymous wrote:Not tiger mom like, but more so, a child that has all the factors

Book smart, common sense, good character all around upstanding person

Do you have a kid like this?

did you introduce books at a young age? No screen time ... whats the trick?

Mom of 23, 22, 18, and 12 year old. It’s constant work. A constant lifestyle. There is no one trick like limiting screen time, and you will occasionally fail at your best intentions. But mostly it’s about raising the kid you have, not the kid you want. And trust me, they are all different.

The best thing you can do is provide lots of books, experiences, and love.

To get more specific, lots of books means books on your shelf, trips to the library, trips to book stores, read alouds, silent reading time, audio books, bath books, cloth books, etc. Essentially, creating a book rich environment in your household and in your life. Read your own books in front of your kids. Make books such a natural and delightful part of your life and your kids life that they are bound to love books. (Note: as stated above, sometimes genetics happen and your kid, despite your best efforts, will not love books)

Experiences should be varied. Everything you can think of. Yes, museums, historic sites, different countries, etc. But also different types of cuisine, music, art, sports, entertainment, etc. The more variety of experiences your child has the more background knowledge the bring to the table. You and your spouse might not love Baseball, but take your kids to at least one game when they are young and let them have the full experience. Go to a variety of restaurants, show them that you are willing to try new foods and encourage them to try new things too. Don't limit them to classical music in the hopes that it expands their brain, expose them to all the different genres. Etc.

And love includes you supporting them, encouraging them, talking with them, listening to them, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Breastfeed!

Nope! Really doesn’t have anything to do with building “smarts” —

I nursed one, formula fed the other.

Well, since you've done a scientifically rigorous study!

(NP and I understand the available research doesn't prove causality, but this "I had two kids and they turned out the same, QED," is totally ridiculous no matter to what it's applied.)

YOu all know this person said this to get a rise, and she succeeded.

OP, pay particular attention to ages 9-13 re: accomplishments, motivation, being challenged, ethical behavior. Beyond 13, IMHO, they are mostly baked (meaning formed already)

That is unless they are pretty much formed, at birth, which I've also considered to be possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Breastfeed!

Nope! Really doesn’t have anything to do with building “smarts” —

I nursed one, formula fed the other.

Actually, it does. It’s been studied. Your formula baby just isn’t as smart as he/she could’ve been had you breastfed both.

I'm a huge proponent of breastfeeding, I made the previous sarcastic comment about a rigorous scientific study of two babies and... this is BS. There's no study that shows a definite causal link* and there's definitely no study that will ever prove "If you did X with this specific individual, Y definitely would have happened."


*Even IF there could be a very, very modest one.

I thought the original comment was a joke..

I think you have it or you don’t but kids can be taught to catch up. Some just have to work harder so the big difference to me is how hard you have to work to master academics.

In terms of screen time it can take attention away but some kids I know who are off the charts brilliant watch tv to an excess. My kids are regular joes and need more academic work at home. They are the types to behave terribly or have an impacted attention span after even minimal screen time so I have to limit it. Some kids can handle it and still pay attention after and retain tons of info, it’s just how their brains work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has a high IQ, measured. Nobody needs to measure mine - it’s average on a good day. We have four children, two of whom are young adults. Oldest is 22, youngest is 10. Two oldest are National Merit Scholars. I worked a combination of full-time and part-time, but mostly part-time, while raising older two. For younger two, I have been home more. Always read. Tons of books. Very limited screen time. Good diets, excercise, activity. Decent HHI, but lower than most of my kids’ peers.

People regularly ask how we have turned out such great kids. I simply thank them and demure because - short of beating them & locking them in a closet - I’m not sure how much our parenting has shaped them. Each came out a certain way at birth and it’s striking how so much was pre-programmed.

Our youngest, an ooops, is doing things at age 10 that his oldest brother did - behaviors, expressions, quirky things - but he was not even alive when his older brother (now away at college) was 10. I am absolutely in awe of genetics.

Read to your kids, really limit media consumption, get your kids outside and feed them decently. Love them. Beyond that, I don’t think much is in our control.

Yes to all of this!

Another 'yes' to all of this. Well said.

Anonymous wrote:DH has a high IQ, measured. Nobody needs to measure mine - it’s average on a good day. We have four children, two of whom are young adults. Oldest is 22, youngest is 10. Two oldest are National Merit Scholars. I worked a combination of full-time and part-time, but mostly part-time, while raising older two. For younger two, I have been home more. Always read. Tons of books. Very limited screen time. Good diets, excercise, activity. Decent HHI, but lower than most of my kids’ peers.

People regularly ask how we have turned out such great kids. I simply thank them and demure because - short of beating them & locking them in a closet - I’m not sure how much our parenting has shaped them. Each came out a certain way at birth and it’s striking how so much was pre-programmed.

Our youngest, an ooops, is doing things at age 10 that his oldest brother did - behaviors, expressions, quirky things - but he was not even alive when his older brother (now away at college) was 10. I am absolutely in awe of genetics.

Read to your kids, really limit media consumption, get your kids outside and feed them decently. Love them. Beyond that, I don’t think much is in our control.

Yes to all of this!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Breastfeed!

Nope! Really doesn’t have anything to do with building “smarts” —

I nursed one, formula fed the other.

Actually, it does. It’s been studied. Your formula baby just isn’t as smart as he/she could’ve been had you breastfed both.

I'm a huge proponent of breastfeeding, I made the previous sarcastic comment about a rigorous scientific study of two babies and... this is BS. There's no study that shows a definite causal link* and there's definitely no study that will ever prove "If you did X with this specific individual, Y definitely would have happened."


*Even IF there could be a very, very modest one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Breastfeed!

Nope! Really doesn’t have anything to do with building “smarts” —

I nursed one, formula fed the other.

Actually, it does. It’s been studied. Your formula baby just isn’t as smart as he/she could’ve been had you breastfed both.