Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand you are shaken as it is was nerve wracking to have the police there. BUT

The system worked exactly as it should have. Your son should keep talking to the counsellor and he needs to tell her if he is being hit at home. If you can't control it, you need to get help for your anger issues. Your son needs the support. Don't take that away from him because you don't want the counsellor doing her job or any oversight of your actions.

I am not sure who called the wrong person? Is there a another parent at the school with an identical name? Was this someone you knew? I am not clear on the name confusion aspect.

If I was abusing the kid why would I request counseling for him??
There is another person in the same town by the same name as me, and she called me and told me the police came to her first and told her as much as they had a cps call and my son’s name. Why would they do that???

Because they made a mistake, you dimwit.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry hit submit too soon- how do I change counselor for him without it looking suspicious. So far I didn’t see any positive effect anyway.

Does your kid like talking with this counselor? Because that’s what’s important—not that you personally like her.

Sorry hit submit too soon- how do I change counselor for him without it looking suspicious. So far I didn’t see any positive effect anyway.

Omg no I did not post in health and medicine.
They interviewed me and child separately.
And they did get the wrong address at first.
Just to be clear: I was not mad about reporting! She did what she had to do.
I was mad about at least not providing the right address!!!!!

Now can we move on to the legal part please.
How do I know what happens with my case (I presume there is a cps case? Though I was not yet contacted by CPS).
And how do I change

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has to be made up. The police don't go out for light slapping/no marks. CPS might investigate but not the police.

Yes, and all of this supposedly happened on the same day—he had a session, the incident was reported, the police went to the wrong house, the call from the wrong house came, then the police (not CPS) showed up. I don’t buy it.

As a mandated reporter I have made dozens of reports to CPS. You provide CPS with a description of the allegations, name of the alleged abuser, contact info, etc. If a school counselor made a report to CPS they would have provided your address that was on record at the school. The police would not be involved in an invesitgation and would not just "look up" your address. Additionally, CPS would have interviewed your child also. There is no way this all occurred in the same day for a slap.

After the fake thread was revealed in Health & Medicine yesterday, I wonder if this is the same poster.

Which thread was that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has to be made up. The police don't go out for light slapping/no marks. CPS might investigate but not the police.

Yes, and all of this supposedly happened on the same day—he had a session, the incident was reported, the police went to the wrong house, the call from the wrong house came, then the police (not CPS) showed up. I don’t buy it.

As a mandated reporter I have made dozens of reports to CPS. You provide CPS with a description of the allegations, name of the alleged abuser, contact info, etc. If a school counselor made a report to CPS they would have provided your address that was on record at the school. The police would not be involved in an invesitgation and would not just "look up" your address. Additionally, CPS would have interviewed your child also. There is no way this all occurred in the same day for a slap.

After the fake thread was revealed in Health & Medicine yesterday, I wonder if this is the same poster.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has to be made up. The police don't go out for light slapping/no marks. CPS might investigate but not the police.

Yes, and all of this supposedly happened on the same day—he had a session, the incident was reported, the police went to the wrong house, the call from the wrong house came, then the police (not CPS) showed up. I don’t buy it.

As a mandated reporter I have made dozens of reports to CPS. You provide CPS with a description of the allegations, name of the alleged abuser, contact info, etc. If a school counselor made a report to CPS they would have provided your address that was on record at the school. The police would not be involved in an invesitgation and would not just "look up" your address. Additionally, CPS would have interviewed your child also. There is no way this all occurred in the same day for a slap.

The counselor did what she had to do. Please don't ask your son to lie to her or withhold information from her or stop seeing her. That's exactly what an abuser would do. I understand this is frustrating and humiliating for you but you have to do what is best for your son. If you need help in dealing with his behavior, therapy for you would be an excellent idea. I think you know slapping and yelling are not the best ways to improve his behavior. After all, kids will learn how they should deal with their frustrations by watching how you behave when you are frustrated. Therapy could help you work out ways to be more effective.

I’m not sure there is any right to privacy when it comes to police matters. And, if you think your behavior was no big deal why do you care that people know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also stop acting like a moron, constantly asking why they told the other person. You know why. They thought she was you. They made a mistake. It’s humiliating but there’s no mystery here.

The counselor has my email and phone number. If she bothers to report she should at least provide them.
It is a breach of privacy.

You are focusing on everyone else’s mistakes. Sense a pattern here? You need to get what you can get under control, which is yourself. You did the right thing getting counseling for your son if you need help parenting. Please get some help for yourself too.

Also, wanting people to acknowledge you as human and caring that much about your image with others — there is a tension there. You don’t seem to trust that others care and can take a reasonable perspective on this. Reasonable does not mean not seeing you need help. You do. Focus on that and let the rest go. You can love yourself and acknowledge where you are, it’s part of the same thing.

You can not justify your behavior based on your child’s reaction. Children are not born behaving right. It is our job to teach them by modeling and giving tools and setting boundaries. If he sees you hitting, he learns that when you don’t like something then you lash out. This is why you are seeing behavior you don’t like.

As for the counseling I get that you are embarrassed. Nothing happened to you. Treat this like the wake up call it is — socially, you got a “light slap” on the wrist. Next time could be more. Kids are going to push our buttons. If you want your son to learn accountability you should apologize to him and say you made a mistake. Show him how you are going to fix this. Take ownership. Blaming him for speaking his truth is going to mess him up more than whatever else you have done.

Lady, I don’t say this often, but you need to get a grip. Parent. Take that class. This is the universe giving you a sign that you need help. Take it.

Anonymous wrote:Anyway, the question is: what do I do about the counselor? If anything.
And how do I find out who else knows about this. I know at least two people know that I had a police visit, one of them knows it was cps-related. Who else?

You need to let go of who else knows. I understand being socially embarrassed but if you truly have nothing to hide and/or feel your actions with your son were/are not serious, you need to not worry about that part. Worry about your parenting and your relationship with your son.

Anonymous wrote:I am honestly surprised that CPS bothered. I've reported a child's statements before that claimed worse than a slap and their attitude was basically, if there was no visible injury then they'll write it down and maybe get around to it eventually. If CPS showed up at your door so fast I'm wondering if that's all the report was, or if your son (or someone else) said something beyond that. They are stretched thin.

This is exactly what I think. The cops were there the same day your son reported one slap? Not likely. It was for more than that.

This is your wake up call. YOU need counseling to keep your hands off your kid.

The counselor has no option but to report. From the report CPS decides if it warrants more investigation. It’s possible that there have been more reports about your behavior in the past and this was the one that made them go to the house. Or it’s possible your son’s description was enough. Either way stop blaming the counselor, they are doing their job and it’s good your son felt comfortable enough to talk about what’s going on at home. Now you probably need some counseling to find out when you are upset why you are “light slapping” your kid in the HEAD.