Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

The PP sounds like the sexist poster I’ve seen before on DCUM. This poster needs to go back to the 50s. He/She is encouraging women to be submissive, not act intelligent and is demeaning feminism. Maybe it’s a troll trying to get a reaction, but it’s pretty pathetic. Quit with the stupid BS.

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 28 and have not had any issues finding guys that wanted to date me since age 18. I married my second serious boyfriend. My best friend struggled to find a partner as has my cousin, and the big thing I see is a mismatch to the type of person they find attractive and who will like them back. Not like a looks or league issue just like a mismatch of personalities- for whatever reason they like people who don’t go for them, and they aren’t open to other types of people.

Why do you think this happens? Why do some women long for the types of men who aren’t into they’re type?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

Argh, your pieces of advice are so outdated.

I have to admit most of those are what guys like. The "submissive" part was pretty offensive though. I didn't agree with "geeky", many are cute and make good partners.

I didn't view that PP as giving advice on what was "right" traits for women. But more or less conveying their observations of the sample size of women who got married early to their college sweetheart. I'd agree with most of what that PP stated. Women who marry young and marry well tend to not have "big" personalities, IMHO.

The pp is spot on.Not to say that other types of women don’t find their men but it takes them longer as they are special flavors only enjoyed by certain kinds of men. Look at Amal Clooney for example. She is beautiful, sophisticated and intelligent with a killer career and social status. The only man who would not be threatened by her would be George freaking Clooney. I bet she had a hard time dating when she was younger.

Average Betty who is pretty and preppy would have all the guys crushing on her. The geeks the nerds the jocks the class presidents. The normal conventionally pretty girls who are inoffensive and blend in so really well because any man can paint a story in his head with her as his wife. Men especially do not want to be outleaged and outclassed.All three girls I know who married rich successful guys are the same: conventionally pretty although not model good looks, modest but feminine in classic preppy clothes, quiet and happy to pass the spotlight to their much more successful and charming husband.

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 28 and have not had any issues finding guys that wanted to date me since age 18. I married my second serious boyfriend. My best friend struggled to find a partner as has my cousin, and the big thing I see is a mismatch to the type of person they find attractive and who will like them back. Not like a looks or league issue just like a mismatch of personalities- for whatever reason they like people who don’t go for them, and they aren’t open to other types of people.

A lot of people who don't get married go for the type of people that don't want to get married.

I got married at 28 and have not had any issues finding guys that wanted to date me since age 18. I married my second serious boyfriend. My best friend struggled to find a partner as has my cousin, and the big thing I see is a mismatch to the type of person they find attractive and who will like them back. Not like a looks or league issue just like a mismatch of personalities- for whatever reason they like people who don’t go for them, and they aren’t open to other types of people.

Anonymous wrote:I'll add a bit.... The women I know who havr the above three traits and also tons of emotional intelligence have had men clamoring for them their entire lives.

Agree

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are better looking, more confident/outgoing/secure in their attractiveness, around more eligible men, and more interested in dating will have an easier time. All things held equal, however, a lot is good fortune.

I think a lot also has to do with knowing the demographic you appeal to. I have had an easier time in love than my sister. I am taller, thinner, and more conventionally attractive. But she has a prettier face and is more outgoing and social. Crucially, however, we have similar tastes in men, but those men tend to go for women more like me. I think she adopted my tastes without considering if they would work for her. She would have done better, for instance, pursuing men who are more likely to value curves.

But a lot of it is still luck IMO.

There is a certain kind of girl/woman who has a lot of luck in terms of dating and marrying early.

From what I observe:

-conventionally attractive. Talk to medium height, thin, natural curves to be feminine but not too curvy
- styles like a “basic b*tch. Conservative and feminine clothing that accentuates body and conveys sexuality without being too in your face. Subtle makeup that highlights features,long straight hair, toned body
- conventional interests. Don’t be quirky. Goths, comic book nerds and geeky girls do not apply.
- be submissive and feminine, no loud mouth feminists or super smart nerdy girls who can out do the guys socially or professionally.
- know how to be subtly sexy, be coy and girly. Project the female energy so guys pick up on it.

Thus is some misogynistic bullshit.

The women I know who are lucky in love are beautiful, warm, and intelligent. And often cheerful/optimistic people that radiate positive energy. That is it.

NP. ITA.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't think marrying your first boyfriend is winning.

Why?

I know a girl who married her first boyfriend that she met at 23. He is smart rich good looking and has a great job. He is also madly in love with her. She couldn’t be happier.

That's a sample of one.

And why do you think it's universally a problem to marry your first BF?

No experience. You're putting all your eggs in one basket with no comparison to what else could be out there for you. See the DCUM thread on marrying young and then wanting out of the marriage in your 40's. But hey, some people would just rather be married than actually have a successful, fulfilling marriage.

I met my future husband at 19. He was my third boyfriend. We have a successful, fulfilling, happy marriage. Married 15 years, together 20, 3 kids.

So now you have a larger sample size.

Do you work?

im guessing not

Anonymous wrote:Why should someone rush into marriage? People change so much in their 20s. I wouldn't want to bet on my boyfriend from my early 20s turning out to be the kind of person I wanted to stay married to in my 40s.

I had good taste in men from the start. The key is to pick men who are smart, have a sense of responsiblity, character and work ethic in addition to whatever other interests you have. You can build from that.

Everyone changes even in their 30s and probably beyond so not picking someone based on being in your 20s is pointless.

I know a lot of affluent Mormons, so this is par for the course.

I’ve always had a boyfriend. I was twice to get married. First proposal I said no. Waited till 26 to get married. Waited till 35 to have our first child. I think I’m just lucky.

Why should someone rush into marriage? People change so much in their 20s. I wouldn't want to bet on my boyfriend from my early 20s turning out to be the kind of person I wanted to stay married to in my 40s.

I find most of my single male friends prefer a woman with some curves and she must have a pretty face. Their height, color of hair, eyes, etc. is not important. But, in reality, all beauty fades, so you better marry someone you really like and want to be best friends with, because that is what it takes to have a successful marriage, IMO. This type of man might not check all of the things you thought you had to have, so expand your options.

I believe most guys want to marry a woman who doesn't take herself too seriously, knows how to joke around, is okay with her man taking charge every now and then, etc. Having a good personality goes A LONG way. Men don't want a to be married to someone that they have to walk on eggshells around. I know the same goes for me, I couldn't imagine being married to someone who is constantly telling me how I am not doing it right, etc. I have met a lot of women that treat their husbands/boyfriends/partners like their idiots and it's so uncomfortable to witness. I usually try to avoid going on double dates with these couples. One of my friends lost her mind when her boyfriend farted in front of her and she wonders why he broke it off. Sigh....don't get married.

Look, my husband does not always do things the way I would do them (like the way he loads the dishwasher drives me NUTS), but he does them and he tries his best, that's really all I can ask for. Not to mention, he is kind, affectionate, funny, works hard for his family, treats me as an equal always, and is sexy as hell and we still have amazing sex.

I am lucky....actually....we are both lucky to have found each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I don't think marrying your first boyfriend is winning.

Why?

I know a girl who married her first boyfriend that she met at 23. He is smart rich good looking and has a great job. He is also madly in love with her. She couldn’t be happier.

That's a sample of one.

And why do you think it's universally a problem to marry your first BF?

No experience. You're putting all your eggs in one basket with no comparison to what else could be out there for you. See the DCUM thread on marrying young and then wanting out of the marriage in your 40's. But hey, some people would just rather be married than actually have a successful, fulfilling marriage.

I met my future husband at 19. He was my third boyfriend. We have a successful, fulfilling, happy marriage. Married 15 years, together 20, 3 kids.

So now you have a larger sample size.

Do you work?

anyone looking to get married should focus on:
-finding a partner in college. this is the largest dating pool you will have of young, single good looking people in one place.
- ladies - DO NOT go to an all womens college this drops your changes significantly
-don't nitpick over little things. My single friends will discount men based on the stupidest things.
- when you pass 35, manage your expectations. You have passed your peek looks-wise, women's child birthing age window is rapidly shrinking, and most men are already married or have children so be realistic