Anonymous wrote:Look, I just turned 54. I'm an American born of Chinese descent. I have no Chinese accent. I actually speak Mandarin with a slight American accent (slight enough that most people don't think I'm American, but Chinese think I'm Taiwanese and Taiwanese think I'm from China).

And yet, I still routinely have people ask where I'm from. When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

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Anonymous wrote:My husband is Indian and when people ask he says he's from Florida. They know he's lying but what can I do. Sometimes the Indians ask him if he's uh Mexican ?. This is going to catch on to our son. My husband should be proud of his background. Be confident OP.

Why would they know he's lying? I was born in India, but my mom moved to Kansas when I was 6 months old (my dad was already there for school). If anyone asks where I'm from, I say Kansas. They always ask - "no, where are you really from", and I always answer "KANSAS". I know what they're getting at -- "you're not white, what are your origins", but f-that. I'm from KANSAS.

Umm if you were born in India, Kansas isn't the right answer. Why can't you just be honest and say "born in India, raised in Kansas?" I don't get this

Anonymous wrote:I am and sick and tired people asking where I am from, because when I tell them I am Hispanic they don't believe me. Eh why are you going to ask if you not going to believe it. Are all Hispanic suppose to look the same? If that is the case then all white people are Racist Trump supporters.

If you dated a Hispanic and he/she/it didn't look like a Hispanic do you think they are lying? What is so wrong with being darker Hispanic? FYI I am also educated not all Hispanics are uneducated

I don't believe is racism I just believe its dumb.

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When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

So now it's racist to ask someone's heritage?

It's not. It's racist to act like someone who looks Asian isn't really from the US, but must be from somewhere else. If you want to know someone's heritage, you say, "What is your family's heritage?" not "But where are you really from?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is Indian and when people ask he says he's from Florida. They know he's lying but what can I do. Sometimes the Indians ask him if he's uh Mexican ?. This is going to catch on to our son. My husband should be proud of his background. Be confident OP.

Why would they know he's lying? I was born in India, but my mom moved to Kansas when I was 6 months old (my dad was already there for school). If anyone asks where I'm from, I say Kansas. They always ask - "no, where are you really from", and I always answer "KANSAS". I know what they're getting at -- "you're not white, what are your origins", but f-that. I'm from KANSAS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is Indian and when people ask he says he's from Florida. They know he's lying but what can I do. Sometimes the Indians ask him if he's uh Mexican ?. This is going to catch on to our son. My husband should be proud of his background. Be confident OP.

Why would they know he's lying? I was born in India, but my mom moved to Kansas when I was 6 months old (my dad was already there for school). If anyone asks where I'm from, I say Kansas. They always ask - "no, where are you really from", and I always answer "KANSAS". I know what they're getting at -- "you're not white, what are your origins", but f-that. I'm from KANSAS.

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When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

This. The PP isn't "really" from China or Taiwan. He or she is "really" from Pittsburgh. Just like I am not "really" from Germany, even though my grandparents were born there. I'm "really" from California. But no one asks me where I'm "really" from, because I'm white and so apparently I can "really" be American. If you want to know where someone's family is from originally, then ask that, not "No, where are you *really* from?"

Ok, noted. So it's only racist if asked in exactly that form?
I'm a foreigner and those questions don't bother me at all. Usually people just try to make conversation.

It's racist when the question is based on the assumption that someone isn't fully or truly American, despite being born here, because of how they look. That somehow, even if they are second- or third- or fourth-generation American, they are still foreign. It's not the first question ("Where are you from?") it's the pushback and the refusal to accept an answer that doesn't match the asker's preconceptions.

I understand, but how often does that happen? Each person who asked 'where are you from' also asked 'no, but really where are you from?'?!

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Anonymous wrote:

When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

So now it's racist to ask someone's heritage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is Indian and when people ask he says he's from Florida. They know he's lying but what can I do. Sometimes the Indians ask him if he's uh Mexican ?. This is going to catch on to our son. My husband should be proud of his background. Be confident OP.

Why would they know he's lying? I was born in India, but my mom moved to Kansas when I was 6 months old (my dad was already there for school). If anyone asks where I'm from, I say Kansas. They always ask - "no, where are you really from", and I always answer "KANSAS". I know what they're getting at -- "you're not white, what are your origins", but f-that. I'm from KANSAS.

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Anonymous wrote:

But I guess I don’t understand what’s offensive about asking where people are from when they speak with an accent that reflects they are from a different country. How is being from someplace else a negative thing? I don’t see it as “less than” in any way, shape or firm so I find it odd that after speaking with someone over time and getting to know them, it would be considered to ask them where they are from originally.

I don't think it's offensive and I'm from a foreign country. I find it more offensive when people don't want to know more about it and only want to stick to superficial things.

I have pride in my country and pride in the fact that my family immigrated and learned English, so I'm happy if someone notices that. If you worked with me and never wanted to know about my background I'd feel pretty invisible and like you didn't value me.

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Anonymous wrote:

When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you telling them you're Hispanic? Context matters.

It doesn't bother you because you're a foreigner and you really are from somewhere else. It bothers people who aren't foreigners but are assumed to be and then badgered when the questioner doesn't like the answer.

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Anonymous wrote:

When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

This. The PP isn't "really" from China or Taiwan. He or she is "really" from Pittsburgh. Just like I am not "really" from Germany, even though my grandparents were born there. I'm "really" from California. But no one asks me where I'm "really" from, because I'm white and so apparently I can "really" be American. If you want to know where someone's family is from originally, then ask that, not "No, where are you *really* from?"

Ok, noted. So it's only racist if asked in exactly that form?
I'm a foreigner and those questions don't bother me at all. Usually people just try to make conversation.

It's racist when the question is based on the assumption that someone isn't fully or truly American, despite being born here, because of how they look. That somehow, even if they are second- or third- or fourth-generation American, they are still foreign. It's not the first question ("Where are you from?") it's the pushback and the refusal to accept an answer that doesn't match the asker's preconceptions.