Anonymous wrote:Jeez, the sanctimommies are out in force tonight!

How about you impose consequences on your children with dyslexia for reading slowly and on your kids with autism for humming and spinning? How about you stop excusing their behavior, eh?

Go back to your first graders, sanctimommies. Adolescence will catch up to you know-it-alls soon enough. Put down your pitchforks and offer something constructive or go the eff away.

The two examples you mention do not affect other children in the same way but you know that

^ So everyone on this board claiming their sons CANNOT CONTROL their impulses - what’s your plan for when your boys get to High School? College?

Are you going to keep blaming the teachers for trying to stop them from sexually harassing girls? What if the verbal abuse no longer gets the same reaction with the older kids and he decides he needs to up his game?

And even if you manage to shield him from all accountability with your ADHD diagnosis, what are you going to do when he’s 18????

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t need more therapy and treatment. He needs consequences.

Nah, what he really needs is different parents.

You, I assume? It's so easy to parent other people's children.

???

Ignore the haters, OP. I'm glad you're looking for help now, because your son needs more effective treatment. ADHD is associated with a number of risk factors. Compared to their peers of the same age, kids with ADHD whose condition is untreated experience more: 1) accidents, hospitalizations, and significantly higher medical costs; 2) school failure and dropout; 3) delinquency and altercations with the law; 4) engagement in antisocial activities; 5) teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases; 6) social and emotional troubles. Unless one believes that ADHD is basically a function of poor parental discipline, then it follows that what is needed is precisely better, more effective treatment.

You are right that the teen years + school environment can be really explosive for some teens to navigate. My own suggestion is to start with medication for the quickest fix. It really does help curb the tendency to blurt things out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, the sanctimommies are out in force tonight!

How about you impose consequences on your children with dyslexia for reading slowly and on your kids with autism for humming and spinning? How about you stop excusing their behavior, eh?

Go back to your first graders, sanctimommies. Adolescence will catch up to you know-it-alls soon enough. Put down your pitchforks and offer something constructive or go the eff away.

This is the Special Needs Board. Most of us have had children who were bullied or teased because they were a little different than the others. I think this explains why we are view this situation severely.

Many of us have children with ADHD, who do not react this way in class. So we have difficulty believing that a child, ostensibly with a disorder that is familiar to us, can act in a way so extremely different from our children with the same disorder. Of course we know that ADHD presents differently for each patient, and we also know that it's TERRIBLE to blame a parent for the actions of their child. But... there is a doubt here. Why does this middle schooler not understand where the line is? Or if he does, is there any way to better control his impulsivity?

Who knows? He might become the next great comic of our time! OP can tell him that, to keep his spirits up, but in a school environment, he MUST keep his mouth shut. His own safety is at stake.

I'm the parent of the Jewish kid who made the Hitler joke. Do you think that went over quietly in our house? Gosh that was fun. He knew he was in for it, too. He knew it was beyond inappropriate, and he was apologetic and had detention and wrote a letter of apology.

But he was still in the principal's office a week later, for making another inappropriate joke.

The point is, for kids who are stimulation-seekers -- and probably also a certain kind of extrovert, as my son is -- it is satisfying *because* it is inappropriate. The rule-breaking is a rush. The laughter is a rush. My kid knows precisely where the line is: boredom on one side, risk and reward on the other.

This is totally new, btw. Never ever had a discipline issue in high school until... 8th grade.

This kind of impulse control is a huge, huge problem with SOME teens with ADHD -- not all of course but it's very, very well-documented. Blaming a parent who is HERE ASKING FOR HELP is just low. I guess it makes some folks feel better about themselves or something.

Ironically, it doesn't actually help the teacher or the kids targeted by the joke. But some advice about impulse control might!

And please don't talk about consequences. Everyone here has made it through toddlerhood, and we all know that consequences only help when a person has the capacity to CONTROL THEIR IMPULSES. This is pretty basic stuff.

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, the sanctimommies are out in force tonight!

How about you impose consequences on your children with dyslexia for reading slowly and on your kids with autism for humming and spinning? How about you stop excusing their behavior, eh?

Go back to your first graders, sanctimommies. Adolescence will catch up to you know-it-alls soon enough. Put down your pitchforks and offer something constructive or go the eff away.

Wow, hit a nerve?

Thank you OP.

I finally understand what Brock Turners mother must’ve felt like 6 years before he got to Stanford.

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, the sanctimommies are out in force tonight!

How about you impose consequences on your children with dyslexia for reading slowly and on your kids with autism for humming and spinning? How about you stop excusing their behavior, eh?

Go back to your first graders, sanctimommies. Adolescence will catch up to you know-it-alls soon enough. Put down your pitchforks and offer something constructive or go the eff away.

We HAVE teens. We know how to parent them.

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, the sanctimommies are out in force tonight!

How about you impose consequences on your children with dyslexia for reading slowly and on your kids with autism for humming and spinning? How about you stop excusing their behavior, eh?

Go back to your first graders, sanctimommies. Adolescence will catch up to you know-it-alls soon enough. Put down your pitchforks and offer something constructive or go the eff away.

This is the Special Needs Board. Most of us have had children who were bullied or teased because they were a little different than the others. I think this explains why we are view this situation severely.

Many of us have children with ADHD, who do not react this way in class. So we have difficulty believing that a child, ostensibly with a disorder that is familiar to us, can act in a way so extremely different from our children with the same disorder. Of course we know that ADHD presents differently for each patient, and we also know that it's TERRIBLE to blame a parent for the actions of their child. But... there is a doubt here. Why does this middle schooler not understand where the line is? Or if he does, is there any way to better control his impulsivity?

Who knows? He might become the next great comic of our time! OP can tell him that, to keep his spirits up, but in a school environment, he MUST keep his mouth shut. His own safety is at stake.

Anonymous wrote:I don't like the title of this thread, OP. You know it's not appropriate. I'm sorry for the issues your son is having, but he's not being put upon because he's a "funny guy." He's abusing his classmates.

So much for this being a supportive forum.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t need more therapy and treatment. He needs consequences.

Nah, what he really needs is different parents.

You, I assume? It's so easy to parent other people's children.

I don't like the title of this thread, OP. You know it's not appropriate. I'm sorry for the issues your son is having, but he's not being put upon because he's a "funny guy." He's abusing his classmates.

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t need more therapy and treatment. He needs consequences.

Nah, what he really needs is different parents.

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, the sanctimommies are out in force tonight!

How about you impose consequences on your children with dyslexia for reading slowly and on your kids with autism for humming and spinning? How about you stop excusing their behavior, eh?

Go back to your first graders, sanctimommies. Adolescence will catch up to you know-it-alls soon enough. Put down your pitchforks and offer something constructive or go the eff away.

I think you have anger issues. I pray you don't have any children.

Jeez, the sanctimommies are out in force tonight!

How about you impose consequences on your children with dyslexia for reading slowly and on your kids with autism for humming and spinning? How about you stop excusing their behavior, eh?

Go back to your first graders, sanctimommies. Adolescence will catch up to you know-it-alls soon enough. Put down your pitchforks and offer something constructive or go the eff away.

He doesn’t need more therapy and treatment. He needs consequences.