Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I've observed that very few people on these threads are supportive when their school is being rezoned to include more diversity.
I live in an integrated neighborhood and send my kids to integrated schools (more than just a token or two). Even our close biracial friends, who come over once a week, are struggling with these issues as the kids get older and their daughter is exposed to aggression from some girls who consider her uppity because she has a white boyfriend. I'm reassessing what to do about high school, as are they.
I'd say my life is far more diverse already than those who are calling me a racist.

I’m supportive at the elementary level and we chose our school to be diverse. I like to think of my self as libreral and progressive, but I also struggle with how I feel about it for Jr High and HS. When my home almost got rezoned to a majority minority middle school, my neighbors fought it hard. I did nothing. I didn’t stand up for better integration and I feel guilty. I told myself it was ok because I didn’t support their efforts. Personally I didn’t want to switch schools because the less diverse school is logistically better for my family. I work from home and it is a few blocks away. My fears and hesitation have a lot more to do with class / wealth divide than race.

The things I struggle with and I want to deal with personally while my kids are still small is this -
1. I know research shows more diverse schools are better for everyone, but I don’t understand how when I hear about opportunity hoarding that my North Arlington neighbors engage in. I have heard such and such is a great school - but then I hear that special programs and activities are dominated by white kids in a school amthat is 70%+ minority. That seems wrong. How is that teaching my kids anything about diversity if their exposure to kids of other races is that “brown kids are poor” or “brown kids aren’t in my advanced classes so they must be less intelligent” or “brown kids get in trouble more”. I grew up in a college town so my school was racially diverse but more socioeconomically homogeneous.

2. To have diversity be valuable, my kids need to actually be friends with kids from different backgrounds. This is hard for me to accept because I don’t want my kids to think it’s an option not to go to a 4yr college. Again I grew up in a college town for a large state school so even the janitor’ kid got some tuition assistance. There were poor kids, but almost everyone planned to go to college and almost everyone had at least 1 parent with a college degree. I did ok picking a college that was well regarded in the region and finding a good career, but I think about the connections my husband had growing up in a town where most dads commute to Wall St. and the colleges he applied to and careers he contemplated. I want my kids exposed to successful, educated people so they have examples of what careers they might want and how to get there.

I have been wanting to talk about this for a while, but I haven’t because I don’t want to seem racist. But obviously I am and I have some hang ups I need to work through and get over for my kids’ sake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely do. But . . . not enough to support busing. I don't think any child, regardless of race or socioeconomic class, is served by having to wake up earlier to take a longer bus ride to school or getting home later due to the bus ride. Kids already don't get enough sleep, and it's a real health issue. Tired kids don't learn as well. We should make every effort to send our kids to the closest schools possible.

Which is why you support the development of low-income housing in your community to promote increased diversity in neighborhoods and schools?! If so, kudos.

Not everyone thinks it's the government's place to promote increased diversity.

Fair enough. But for someone like the pp who says they support greater integration at their child's school, but they don't support busing. How is that integration going to happen? If you think we should just let integration or segregation happen as it happens, that is a different position.

Anonymous wrote:Racial and SES diversity? Sure. Skill level integyration? In theory, yes. However, I’ve noticed that the special ed, ESL, and kids with behavioral issues take away a lot of the resources and attention at school. I feel like the regular ED kids get screwed in the process. So mainstreaming might help these kids but hurts regular kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely do. But . . . not enough to support busing. I don't think any child, regardless of race or socioeconomic class, is served by having to wake up earlier to take a longer bus ride to school or getting home later due to the bus ride. Kids already don't get enough sleep, and it's a real health issue. Tired kids don't learn as well. We should make every effort to send our kids to the closest schools possible.

Which is why you support the development of low-income housing in your community to promote increased diversity in neighborhoods and schools?! If so, kudos.

Not everyone thinks it's the government's place to promote increased diversity.

Anonymous wrote:I want to respond to a couple of things the pp said. 1) being friends with black and Hispanic kids doesn’t mean your child won’t want to go to college. Lots of them want to go to college. And children of educated and well-off families don’t decide to drop out because a girl in their math class did. 2) This one is counterintuitive but so true and literally came from the mouth of my middle schooler: if you want your student to behave well and study and be serious, put them in a school where there is a cohort of some kids who do this... and also a cohort of kids who don’t. They see why it’s a really bad idea to blow off school, dropnout, etc., and they develop an identity that they are the good students, the serious ones.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely do. But . . . not enough to support busing. I don't think any child, regardless of race or socioeconomic class, is served by having to wake up earlier to take a longer bus ride to school or getting home later due to the bus ride. Kids already don't get enough sleep, and it's a real health issue. Tired kids don't learn as well. We should make every effort to send our kids to the closest schools possible.

Which is why you support the development of low-income housing in your community to promote increased diversity in neighborhoods and schools?! If so, kudos.

Anonymous wrote:DD's school is approx 20% black and hispanic and I have no concerns. What are your concerns OP?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Racial and SES diversity? Sure. Skill level integyration? In theory, yes. However, I’ve noticed that the special ed, ESL, and kids with behavioral issues take away a lot of the resources and attention at school. I feel like the regular ED kids get screwed in the process. So mainstreaming might help these kids but hurts regular kids.

Yeah, my HFA kid is really screwing your kid over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I've observed that very few people on these threads are supportive when their school is being rezoned to include more diversity.
I live in an integrated neighborhood and send my kids to integrated schools (more than just a token or two). Even our close biracial friends, who come over once a week, are struggling with these issues as the kids get older and their daughter is exposed to aggression from some girls who consider her uppity because she has a white boyfriend. I'm reassessing what to do about high school, as are they.
I'd say my life is far more diverse already than those who are calling me a racist.

I’m supportive at the elementary level and we chose our school to be diverse. I like to think of my self as libreral and progressive, but I also struggle with how I feel about it for Jr High and HS. When my home almost got rezoned to a majority minority middle school, my neighbors fought it hard. I did nothing. I didn’t stand up for better integration and I feel guilty. I told myself it was ok because I didn’t support their efforts. Personally I didn’t want to switch schools because the less diverse school is logistically better for my family. I work from home and it is a few blocks away. My fears and hesitation have a lot more to do with class / wealth divide than race.

The things I struggle with and I want to deal with personally while my kids are still small is this -
1. I know research shows more diverse schools are better for everyone, but I don’t understand how when I hear about opportunity hoarding that my North Arlington neighbors engage in. I have heard such and such is a great school - but then I hear that special programs and activities are dominated by white kids in a school amthat is 70%+ minority. That seems wrong. How is that teaching my kids anything about diversity if their exposure to kids of other races is that “brown kids are poor” or “brown kids aren’t in my advanced classes so they must be less intelligent” or “brown kids get in trouble more”. I grew up in a college town so my school was racially diverse but more socioeconomically homogeneous.

2. To have diversity be valuable, my kids need to actually be friends with kids from different backgrounds. This is hard for me to accept because I don’t want my kids to think it’s an option not to go to a 4yr college. Again I grew up in a college town for a large state school so even the janitor’ kid got some tuition assistance. There were poor kids, but almost everyone planned to go to college and almost everyone had at least 1 parent with a college degree. I did ok picking a college that was well regarded in the region and finding a good career, but I think about the connections my husband had growing up in a town where most dads commute to Wall St. and the colleges he applied to and careers he contemplated. I want my kids exposed to successful, educated people so they have examples of what careers they might want and how to get there.

I have been wanting to talk about this for a while, but I haven’t because I don’t want to seem racist. But obviously I am and I have some hang ups I need to work through and get over for my kids’ sake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do. I think that kids benefit from learning in a diverse classroom--economically and racially. They learn to see people of other races as individuals, not stereotypes; they learn about other people's cultures and experiences; they learn to work with others of different backgrounds; they see that their culture is not the default. All of these things are enriching and valuable.

Now, the means by which integration is achieved might be a problem for me, but the fact of integration is not.

I support an integrated classroom when all the kids are on the same page. My kid's AAP class is diverse, economically and racially but not academically. My DC is learning that all children are smart and hard-working. In an integrated classroom where some children are above grade level and some are significantly below grade level, the children will learn a different lesson.