I'm usually also relieved when not invited.

Send her a card, and not a gift. She wasn't obligated to invite you because you did not invite her.

And, you didn't have to spend all that money!

When trying to limit an already over-large guest list, it's easy to nix the people who didn't invite you. You assume they won't be offended.

OP, this is just a reciprocal issue, regardless of the sizes of your weddings. Let it go!

OP, you could be right with the geography thing. We had tight numbers for our wedding and I have a ton of cousins and second cousins and so does my husband. I invited the handful of closest ones that are like siblings, and I invited the ones that live within an hour's drive.

I probably wouldn't have invited someone who was unfriendly to my husband, and if I had a friend or family member who I thought was making a bad decision with their fiance, I wouldn't want to go to that wedding because it would feel too weird and sad. (BTDT at the wedding for a friend who was being abused - never again. I'll convince someone in that situation to run away before I ever show up as a guest to witness something like that.)

Wedding suck anyways. Such a chore. Be happy you don't have to deal with the hassle.

I’d just ask.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t send a card. She didn’t invite you.

+1


Just to clarify- other cousins were not invited?

The fiancé might have picked up on your disapproval even if you didn't overtly say anything, and pressured the cousin not to invite you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send a gift and wish them well.

Are you intending to be gracious about her choice now that she is married?

Why would she send a gift if she wasn't invited?

+1. It could actually come off as passive aggressive. You weren't invited to her large wedding, so it would be weird to send a gift.

Agree. Heck no, I'm not sending a card or gift to someone who I thought I was close too and didn't invite to a major event. And yes, her husband died sound like a loser.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send a gift and wish them well.

Are you intending to be gracious about her choice now that she is married?

Why would she send a gift if she wasn't invited?

+1. It could actually come off as passive aggressive. You weren't invited to her large wedding, so it would be weird to send a gift.

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read any of the replies, but I am truly relieved any time I am NOT invited to someone’s wedding.

Hahaha! So true. Also now that we are getting folder the wedding thing is happening all over again. Friends kids getting married cousins and now we already have 2 for spring to go to.

Nobody has a wedding where everyone is invited
Let it go

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read any of the replies, but I am truly relieved any time I am NOT invited to someone’s wedding.

LOL yes!

Anonymous wrote:Just send a gift and wish them well.

Are you intending to be gracious about her choice now that she is married?

Why would she send a gift if she wasn't invited?

I didn’t read any of the replies, but I am truly relieved any time I am NOT invited to someone’s wedding.

Yes, she might have picked up on the fact that you don't like her husband as others suggested.

It's also possible that they had to draw the line for the guest list somewhere and no out of town cousins was the limit. One of my cousins did that once. At the time, I thought it was so hurtful to invite me and one of my brothers, and exclude my sister and another brother, especially when he was so much closer with the out of town brother than with me. But now I understand that they had to draw the line somewhere and this probably seemed like a "fair" across the board rule.

Whatever happened, I'm sorry. Of course you're upset about it. This is your cousin who you were close with. I hope that you find a way to make peace with it eventually.