Wow, you guys are harsh.

It's possible OPs DD and her friend planned all the activities (baking, trampoline park, dinner, movie) and then asked for permission - just because OP said it was all "planned" doesn't mean parents initiated it.

My dd has frequently said, "Can Larla come over on Saturday, we want to bake and go to the trampoline park, then have dinner and watch a movie".

Dads coordinated details -not sure what happened with the sleepover, could have been pre-planned by girls or a miscommunication between dad, or kid could have brought pillow for movie watching and planned on going home - that's why parents are needed to confirm the plans and ensure everyone is clear on drop off/pick up.

Lol! I dont even use the word playdate with my 9yr old anymore. Even he plans his own activities with his friends and I'm informed of the situation. For instance, he told me that on Friday 3 kids are coming home with him from school. Ends up a simple texts to their parent "have you heard about this? If so, please make sure to send a note so they will release your kids to me". I'm definitely not now 9rchestrating the activities.

If they want to do a sleepover, then they obviously need to ask. I'm guessing your daughter didnt know what do because you have engineered her life for the last 12 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how old DD and her friend are.

They're 6th graders... so 11/12yrs.

Playdate??? I assumed your kids were early elementary. You know they can plan to hang out now. You can land the chopper now.

I'd pull my kid aside and ask her. She's old enough to know whats going on.

This is an issue with your daughter.

She obviously invited her friend to sleep over without checking with you first. You need to decide if this is acceptable behavior or not. In my house it wouldn’t be okay - BUT I would deal with my daughter directly without inviting the other family.

Your daughter should already know that she needs to ask first for sleepovers - but remind her again. Also, implement simple consequences. Either the girl has to go home at the decided time or your daughter loses a privilege. I’m a fan of showing how it’s inconsiderate so after an impromptu sleepover I might decide that my daughter and I are doing something she dislikes without checking with her first. Something like spending the day cleaning out the basement or driving to visit relatives.

Whatever you do, you need to deal directly with your daughter - leave the other families out of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how old DD and her friend are.

seriously, go back to the little kids board. Who has play dates for tweens and teens?

It was moved to tween/teen bc op later in thread that the girls are 11&12.

Anonymous wrote:I would have said right then and there "Just want to make sure you know the playdate is until X time and not a sleepover." Done.

You sound harsh.