Anonymous wrote:I would prefer for the birth parents to be given time to think this through after birth, then the adoptive parents come and get the bai. It is a nightmare if they go home with the baby and then have to give it back.
In Maryland the mother has 2 weeks to change her mind. This is a permanent solution with devastating consequences should she bitterly regret it for the rest of her life

If the birth mother took the baby home that would be tremendously more difficult and most likely the adoption wouldn’t happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad. I wish a mother didn’t have to give up her child. I’m actually unaware of that many situations where the mom should need to do this. Adoption is so sad.

Take your bubble that you live in and go away.

It’s the opposite. I’ve traveled to places with adequate maternity leave and social safety nets for vulnerable populations. It’s tragic that poor women in the US are forced to choose between giving their baby to a stranger or giving them a terrible life in poverty and no way out. In most cases adoption is very much a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

Can’t a lot of choices in life be said to also be permanent solutions for temporary problems? Anyway, you think all birth moms are poor people and that’s not true.

I’m an adoptee and an adoptive parent. Adoption is rooted in loss, this is true. But adoption is also a wonderful thing and I’m sorry your experiences with it have been so sad. I’m not sad. I’m happy.

OP give us an update once you have the baby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer for the birth parents to be given time to think this through after birth, then the adoptive parents come and get the bai. It is a nightmare if they go home with the baby and then have to give it back.
In Maryland the mother has 2 weeks to change her mind. This is a permanent solution with devastating consequences should she bitterly regret it for the rest of her life

You have no idea what you are taking about in MD. Stop speaking on issues you aren't sure of. Its 30 days.

(and if she changes her mind, wouldn't it be nice if she reimbursed the family for all the expenses they paid on her behalf).

30 days sounds good to me
Adoption is not all about the needs of the adoptive parents.
It is also in the interest of the adoptee that birth mom was at peace with her decision.

It is supposed to be about the best interests of the child. Some kids are best off being placed. Mine was.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer for the birth parents to be given time to think this through after birth, then the adoptive parents come and get the bai. It is a nightmare if they go home with the baby and then have to give it back.
In Maryland the mother has 2 weeks to change her mind. This is a permanent solution with devastating consequences should she bitterly regret it for the rest of her life

You have no idea what you are taking about in MD. Stop speaking on issues you aren't sure of. Its 30 days.

(and if she changes her mind, wouldn't it be nice if she reimbursed the family for all the expenses they paid on her behalf).

Are you suggesting financial blackmail?

All kinds of shady things go on from adoptive parents being inappropriate to people pretending they will place to get birthparent expenses paid knowing they will not place.

OP - I’m another internet stranger with her fingers crossed that things work out how they should

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer for the birth parents to be given time to think this through after birth, then the adoptive parents come and get the bai. It is a nightmare if they go home with the baby and then have to give it back.
In Maryland the mother has 2 weeks to change her mind. This is a permanent solution with devastating consequences should she bitterly regret it for the rest of her life

You have no idea what you are taking about in MD. Stop speaking on issues you aren't sure of. Its 30 days.

(and if she changes her mind, wouldn't it be nice if she reimbursed the family for all the expenses they paid on her behalf).

Are you suggesting financial blackmail?

Op, my mom was adopted after 6 months in an orphanage. Thank you for putting yourself at this emotional risk. Babies should be wanted like you want your child. Mom has several disabilities because of that orphanage stay. God bless you. Peace. Baby is lucky to have you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer for the birth parents to be given time to think this through after birth, then the adoptive parents come and get the bai. It is a nightmare if they go home with the baby and then have to give it back.
In Maryland the mother has 2 weeks to change her mind. This is a permanent solution with devastating consequences should she bitterly regret it for the rest of her life

You have no idea what you are taking about in MD. Stop speaking on issues you aren't sure of. Its 30 days.

(and if she changes her mind, wouldn't it be nice if she reimbursed the family for all the expenses they paid on her behalf).

30 days sounds good to me
Adoption is not all about the needs of the adoptive parents.
It is also in the interest of the adoptee that birth mom was at peace with her decision.

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer for the birth parents to be given time to think this through after birth, then the adoptive parents come and get the bai. It is a nightmare if they go home with the baby and then have to give it back.
In Maryland the mother has 2 weeks to change her mind. This is a permanent solution with devastating consequences should she bitterly regret it for the rest of her life

You have no idea what you are taking about in MD. Stop speaking on issues you aren't sure of. Its 30 days.

(and if she changes her mind, wouldn't it be nice if she reimbursed the family for all the expenses they paid on her behalf).

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer for the birth parents to be given time to think this through after birth, then the adoptive parents come and get the bai. It is a nightmare if they go home with the baby and then have to give it back.
In Maryland the mother has 2 weeks to change her mind. This is a permanent solution with devastating consequences should she bitterly regret it for the rest of her life

In Maryland it’s 30 days.
I don’t know why all of you guys would rather a baby live in limbo with no permanent family in case the birth mother changes her mind. She should have time, yes, I agree, but that time should be capped so that the baby has the chance to bond with a permanent family of the birth parents cannot or do not wish to raise him. A month seems reasonable to me.

Our DD would have died if she had been allowed to stay with her BM. It was the doctor and staff at the four month check up that intervened by way of an emergency seizure. DD spent the next 10 days in hospital. The BM was charged with cruelty. My point is that not every woman is cut out to be a mother. (And not every man is cut out to be a father). We were DD's foster parents until we adopted her from foster care four years ago.

I would prefer for the birth parents to be given time to think this through after birth, then the adoptive parents come and get the bai. It is a nightmare if they go home with the baby and then have to give it back.
In Maryland the mother has 2 weeks to change her mind. This is a permanent solution with devastating consequences should she bitterly regret it for the rest of her life

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad. I wish a mother didn’t have to give up her child. I’m actually unaware of that many situations where the mom should need to do this. Adoption is so sad.

Take your bubble that you live in and go away.

It’s the opposite. I’ve traveled to places with adequate maternity leave and social safety nets for vulnerable populations. It’s tragic that poor women in the US are forced to choose between giving their baby to a stranger or giving them a terrible life in poverty and no way out. In most cases adoption is very much a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

Adoptions sometimes fall through at the hospital because the prospective adoptive parents choose to walk away, usually because one of the couple isn't onboard. That may be a concern of your BM's.


I hope it all works out for you, the BM and the baby.