Anonymous
12/29/2018 10:56
Subject: Did the bisexual thing pass?
Well, FWIW, I’m nearly 45 and it hasn’t passed.
Anonymous
12/29/2018 10:54
Subject: Re:Did the bisexual thing pass?
messed up in the head? Hahaha. Are you all living under a rock? So all those big happy, functional extended families that got together for the holidays (shocking that these exist apparently to some) that had same sex married folks are just some crazy mixed up people?
Here we were thinking we were just run of the mill boring folks making last minute Target runs for grandma and feeling lucky that all our kids are healthy and thriving yet another year.
Get a grip folks, queer folks aren't some exotic "other" they are our friends and family and are fighting for the right to just be recognized as such!
Here we were thinking we were just run of the mill boring folks making last minute Target runs for grandma and feeling lucky that all our kids are healthy and thriving yet another year.
Get a grip folks, queer folks aren't some exotic "other" they are our friends and family and are fighting for the right to just be recognized as such!
Anonymous
12/28/2018 23:49
Subject: Re:Did the bisexual thing pass?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your DD is still a teen! How long ago/at what age would you expect her to have come to terms with her sexuality enough to have come out to her parents???
English please?
That comment was perfectly coherent. Sorry you can’t read.
-NP
NP here and I read it several times and still don’t understand it so I was glad it wasn’t just me!
All that proves is that at least 2 DCUMers are struggling with reading comprehension today!
-another NP
So what was her general point, then? Enlighten me.
I understood it.
—yet another NP
I think it was along the lines of, it’s hard to figure out who you are, and she’s only 17. Presumably she’s only been dating a short time, and most of that was [possibly faking] being heterosexual. So she spends a bit of time exploring, then has a self discovery of who she is and what her sexual preference is. It seems like it might take someone more than a few months to figure all that out. And pp didn’t imply this, but I’ll add that it might be even harder to figure it all out if your parents are generally dismissive of your feelings, the way OP seems to be dismissive of teens being bisexual.
Tl;dr She’s only 17. Teens gonna teen.
Anonymous
12/28/2018 23:26
Subject: Re:Did the bisexual thing pass?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your DD is still a teen! How long ago/at what age would you expect her to have come to terms with her sexuality enough to have come out to her parents???
English please?
That comment was perfectly coherent. Sorry you can’t read.
-NP
NP here and I read it several times and still don’t understand it so I was glad it wasn’t just me!
All that proves is that at least 2 DCUMers are struggling with reading comprehension today!
-another NP
So what was her general point, then? Enlighten me.
I understood it.
—yet another NP
Anonymous
12/28/2018 23:03
Subject: Did the bisexual thing pass?
Anonymous wrote:The kids like to give themselves the labels- they make public notifications on social media to their new identity- "friends- I want you to know I'm bi-sexual" and then they get "oh, that's wonderful, we support you". I don't think it's typically the parents trying to label the kids.
Not at the experience in my lesbian DD’s peer group. There’s very little coming out to peers. Nearly all the coming out is to parents and grandparents. The exception is transkids who announce they will use a new name and pronouns.
OP, I get that this is new to you, but some of us have been doing this a while and the best advice is to listen to your child. If she changes, she’ll let you know unless you torpedo the relationship. My DD changed her identity from bi to lesbian. Maybe any level of attraction to makes was a phase or a fad. I don’t know or care. I do care that my child feels comfortable talking to me about the people in her life. In time, you’ll realize that this is just one part of who your daughter is. Unless you live in an intolerant community, it’s not even the third or fourth most important part probably.
Anonymous
12/28/2018 22:38
Subject: Did the bisexual thing pass?
The kids like to give themselves the labels- they make public notifications on social media to their new identity- "friends- I want you to know I'm bi-sexual" and then they get "oh, that's wonderful, we support you". I don't think it's typically the parents trying to label the kids.
Anonymous
12/28/2018 22:20
Subject: Re:Did the bisexual thing pass?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My goddaughter, now late 20s, identified as bi, had multiple gay relationships, and then dated a transgender male for a couple of years. And then married a guy. She is now blissfully happy and her first baby is on the way. She no longer considers herself bi. So sometimes it is really something they have to work out. (In her case, sexual abuse/exploitation from dad and other men when she was 8-12.) Not saying always, but sometimes.
People get to call themselves whatever they want, of course. But generally, I wouldn't think of a woman with multiple previous lesbian relationships as straight, no matter how blissfully heterosexually married and pregnant she may currently be.
DP. You are more than welcome to apply that standard to yourself, but you don’t get to define anyone else’s sexuality for them.
Please see the relevant part of my previous post, bolded.
I saw that line. But your post, taken as a whole, basically says, “People can call themselves whatever they want, but I will make my own judgments about what their sexuality really is.”
When people say things like the first PP said, I often wonder how open the goddaughter is with them. It’s probably easier for her to publicly identify as straight. She may still be pan, but in a monogamous relationship with someone of the opposite sex, so she says she’s straight or let’s everyone assume it. I can’t imagine she never has feelings or fantasies that are outside of that heterosexual box.
Anonymous
12/28/2018 19:28
Subject: Re:Did the bisexual thing pass?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My goddaughter, now late 20s, identified as bi, had multiple gay relationships, and then dated a transgender male for a couple of years. And then married a guy. She is now blissfully happy and her first baby is on the way. She no longer considers herself bi. So sometimes it is really something they have to work out. (In her case, sexual abuse/exploitation from dad and other men when she was 8-12.) Not saying always, but sometimes.
People get to call themselves whatever they want, of course. But generally, I wouldn't think of a woman with multiple previous lesbian relationships as straight, no matter how blissfully heterosexually married and pregnant she may currently be.
DP. You are more than welcome to apply that standard to yourself, but you don’t get to define anyone else’s sexuality for them.
Please see the relevant part of my previous post, bolded.
Agree. She’s a lesbian trying out a hereto life on for comfort.
Anonymous
12/28/2018 19:26
Subject: Did the bisexual thing pass?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My DD came out as bi last year but now identifies as lesbian and dates women. She told me she is still attracted to boys but isn't comfortable with them. She had a couple of crappy things happen with boys in the past. Having a girlfriend is like having a best friend (which she hasn't really had due to social anxiety)and being in a relationship.
Who knows if she ends up with a man or woman at the end of the day- I'm fine with either as long as she is happy.
And how is she possibly going to be happy if she is this mixed up in the head?
Please recommend what you would do if it were your daughter? She sees a therapist for the social anxiety.
Anonymous
12/28/2018 18:45
Subject: Re:Did the bisexual thing pass?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My goddaughter, now late 20s, identified as bi, had multiple gay relationships, and then dated a transgender male for a couple of years. And then married a guy. She is now blissfully happy and her first baby is on the way. She no longer considers herself bi. So sometimes it is really something they have to work out. (In her case, sexual abuse/exploitation from dad and other men when she was 8-12.) Not saying always, but sometimes.
People get to call themselves whatever they want, of course. But generally, I wouldn't think of a woman with multiple previous lesbian relationships as straight, no matter how blissfully heterosexually married and pregnant she may currently be.
DP. You are more than welcome to apply that standard to yourself, but you don’t get to define anyone else’s sexuality for them.
Please see the relevant part of my previous post, bolded.
I saw that line. But your post, taken as a whole, basically says, “People can call themselves whatever they want, but I will make my own judgments about what their sexuality really is.”
Anonymous
12/28/2018 18:37
Subject: Did the bisexual thing pass?
Kids are looking for a label to identify their sexuality. There’s a lot more gray area. She’s somewhere in the gray area. She may date only men or only women, and her sexuality will still be in the gray area. It doesn’t switch. The labels that everyone is obsessed with is what changes. Chill with the labels.
Anonymous
12/28/2018 18:35
Subject: Re:Did the bisexual thing pass?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My goddaughter, now late 20s, identified as bi, had multiple gay relationships, and then dated a transgender male for a couple of years. And then married a guy. She is now blissfully happy and her first baby is on the way. She no longer considers herself bi. So sometimes it is really something they have to work out. (In her case, sexual abuse/exploitation from dad and other men when she was 8-12.) Not saying always, but sometimes.
People get to call themselves whatever they want, of course. But generally, I wouldn't think of a woman with multiple previous lesbian relationships as straight, no matter how blissfully heterosexually married and pregnant she may currently be.
DP. You are more than welcome to apply that standard to yourself, but you don’t get to define anyone else’s sexuality for them.
Please see the relevant part of my previous post, bolded.
Anonymous
12/28/2018 18:32
Subject: Re:Did the bisexual thing pass?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My goddaughter, now late 20s, identified as bi, had multiple gay relationships, and then dated a transgender male for a couple of years. And then married a guy. She is now blissfully happy and her first baby is on the way. She no longer considers herself bi. So sometimes it is really something they have to work out. (In her case, sexual abuse/exploitation from dad and other men when she was 8-12.) Not saying always, but sometimes.
People get to call themselves whatever they want, of course. But generally, I wouldn't think of a woman with multiple previous lesbian relationships as straight, no matter how blissfully heterosexually married and pregnant she may currently be.
DP. You are more than welcome to apply that standard to yourself, but you don’t get to define anyone else’s sexuality for them.
Anonymous
12/28/2018 18:29
Subject: Re:Did the bisexual thing pass?
Anonymous wrote:My goddaughter, now late 20s, identified as bi, had multiple gay relationships, and then dated a transgender male for a couple of years. And then married a guy. She is now blissfully happy and her first baby is on the way. She no longer considers herself bi. So sometimes it is really something they have to work out. (In her case, sexual abuse/exploitation from dad and other men when she was 8-12.) Not saying always, but sometimes.
People get to call themselves whatever they want, of course. But generally, I wouldn't think of a woman with multiple previous lesbian relationships as straight, no matter how blissfully heterosexually married and pregnant she may currently be.
Anonymous
12/28/2018 18:28
Subject: Did the bisexual thing pass?
Think of it this way: Could you be attracted to a different gender just as a fashion statement? Probably not, huh? So if she says she's bi, she's probably genuinely attracted to women. Whether she continues to act on that attraction, is a different story.