Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 21:54     Subject: Re:How would you respond to this email?
Anonymous wrote:I would be tempted to have some fun with this one.

Option 1 : Sorry no backsies!

Option 2: Oh dear, I'm so sorry that your son doesn't understanding trading. We forget sometimes that there are kids with lower abilities in DC's class. My DC is both gifted and a strong negotiator. He gets it from DH and I as we cleared our first $5M mark one year out of college but I digress....we will speak to our son about how negotiating and trading with kids who don't have same abilities and aren't as advanced. Have you considered enrichment for your child? It could help. Your child is very sweet and I'm sure there is some future career pathway out there for him. Not everyone is college material, the world needs low end labor too!

Option 3: Wow I was just about to write to you or to be more precise our lawyer was about to send you a letter. My son traded my $10K diamond engagement ring for the cheap toy that your son wants back. Please return the ring or a check for $10K and we will of course return the toy. Have a great day and so happy that you are being proactive about returning my ring.


It’s not clear to me that two things were traded. All that is clear to me is tha OP’s son took home another child’s toy.
Did the other child bring home one of OP’s child’s toy? What was it? Maybe don’t get it returned.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 21:49     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
Anonymous wrote:Received an email from the parent of one of DS’ friends. The two kids each brought a toy to school and proceeded to trade. The mother of DS’ friend is irritated that the kids traded and wants her son’s toy back. In her email she accused my son of taking her son’s toy without actually trading something for it (untrue according to my son). She also emphasized how special her son’s toy is and that trading should not happen again in the future.

I’m irked at this email. We do not encourage toy trading (or bringing toys to school for that matter but apparently DS has been sneaking things in his pockets and/or backpack). DS knows that if he loses a toy or gives it away that it is likely gone and will not be replaced. If he chooses to give it away that is his decision. The teacher has also emphasized that things you care about (aside from your child ) should not be sent to school because they could be lost or damaged.

I need some unbiased feedback here. I have to see this mom occasionally and would like to remain friendly with her but her email was accusatory and made it sound like she thinks my kid stole her kid’s toy and that’s i need to somehow police what’s happening at school. I’m irritated.


You really embellished this story email here.

Factually all that happened is there was trade or a one way only trade at school today, they need their toy back before winter break tomorrow, and it is a very special important toy, and reiterate that trading toys is inappropriate.

I don’t see what a the irritated part, stealing part, accusatory part.
. I do see your attitude though: it is my sons decision, he must be sneaking toys to schoo/who knows, teacher says no toys, I am being told to police what happens at school, etc. wow. Lot of drama in your life.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 21:42     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
Anonymous wrote:First confirm exactly what her son has that was originally your son’s. Then reply “The boys seem to be enjoying the trading game and weren’t aware Jimmy isn’t allowed to participate. Larlo will bring back Jimmy’s X tomorrow and trade back for his Y that Jimmy has. I’ll remind him that Jimmy’s not trading”


Rule #1 no toys at school. That way stupid stuff like this doesn’t happen

Rule #2 don’t take home things that aren’t yours. No trading a slice of apple for the pj masks car.

Rule #3 parents should acknowledge that they really don’t know wtf really happened but all toys need to be returned ASAP, and no more trading, borrowing, giving or taking of toys.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 20:56     Subject: Re:How would you respond to this email?
Every young kid gets taken advantage of at some point. It is a learning experience.

Just have your child return the toy. NBD.

My older son often did poor trades of Pokémon cards and was often upset. There was so much drama. One day an older kid (2nd grade) came over and was leaving with a stack of cards my 4yo Gave him. When he left, both my kids were crying. I ran out and said my 4yo didn’t mean take the cards home. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.

Now my kids literally have thousands of cards and could care less. This summer they traded injustice cards.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 20:51     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
Anonymous wrote:First confirm exactly what her son has that was originally your son’s. Then reply “The boys seem to be enjoying the trading game and weren’t aware Jimmy isn’t allowed to participate. Larlo will bring back Jimmy’s X tomorrow and trade back for his Y that Jimmy has. I’ll remind him that Jimmy’s not trading”


No, too much, offer to return it.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 20:33     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
First confirm exactly what her son has that was originally your son’s. Then reply “The boys seem to be enjoying the trading game and weren’t aware Jimmy isn’t allowed to participate. Larlo will bring back Jimmy’s X tomorrow and trade back for his Y that Jimmy has. I’ll remind him that Jimmy’s not trading”
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 20:24     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Cool. Wasn't aware they had traded toys. DS will bring the toy back to school tomorrow. Happy holidays!"

This plus “can you ask your DS to do the same.” Yes, I’d be iirked by that email. But I wouldn’t let it show.

+1 OP the mom came out of the gate swinging and that's not ideal. But keep in mind that toy trades are against most schools' policies, take the high ground, and let it go.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 20:17     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
Anonymous wrote:“Sounds good. I’ll put the toy in Larlo’s backpack tomorrow morning, or would you like me to leave it on your porch tonight?”


This, both kids are at fault but take the high ground.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 20:15     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
Is there a possibility that your DS pressured his friend into making the trade? The mom may be upset because her son is upset and told a different version of the story.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 19:18     Subject: Re:How would you respond to this email?
Anonymous wrote:“Thanks for letting me know. They can trade back tomorrow (I think Larlo traded his x for larloo’s y.”)


What was the trade? What did OPs kid bring home?
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 19:16     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
Op - how on earth do you know if there was a trade or not OR if tour kid simply took another kids toy home (through brute force or a slick trade of nothing).

Grow up. You don’t take things that don’t belong to you. You don’t give away your things either.

Stop acting so nonchalant like it’s so cool.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 19:13     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
Anonymous wrote:Tell your DS to give the toy back because the friend wasn't allowed to trade. Done.


Agree.

the mom’s email was fine. Get the kids toy back and use this as a teaching moment to your kid before you get more of these emails from other parents.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 18:11     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
OP, she didn't like you or your kid prior to this, I'm guessing.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 16:19     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
So how did you reply? OP?
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2018 14:09     Subject: How would you respond to this email?
email is passive aggressive. should have called, and you should call her.