Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 16:44     Subject: Re:who drives babysitter home?
It seems expectations may differ. So, the terms should be made clear before you hire a sitter. Those of you that can't or won't provide a ride home just shouldn't employ teens that need a ride home. This is not complicated. OP, if it's a major inconveniance, just tell your DD she can't sit for that family any more. We have limited my DD's availability when it intereferes with our plans (even if it's just a matter of I don't want to be up late)
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 16:32     Subject: who drives babysitter home?
Anonymous wrote:I only hire sitters who can drive themselves. I don't want to hang out at midnight making small talk while waiting for an Uber. My DH would never drive a sitter home. He's too afraid of someone falsely accusing him of something.

Also, we go out to drink so I would not drive someone's child after I'd been drinking.


If you are a well-to-do family, there are some people who will put a target on your back.

Just like people who drive nice cars, every once in a while, you might be the victim of an insurance fraud accident.

Nothing you did, just people who need your resources, and you are their mark.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 14:50     Subject: Re:who drives babysitter home?
Anonymous wrote:How old are these sitters you are hiring that are babysitting at night? I wouldn't hire anyone younger than 16 or so to babysit at night. They need to be able to drive themselves to/from babysitting.


I was 13 and babysitting until 12:30 or later sometimes. I remember walking in circles in the living room because I was so tired and scared I'd fall asleep. The dad always drove me home.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 14:47     Subject: Re:who drives babysitter home?
First, I try hard to get a driving or walking sitter and that's what I do 99% of the time now.

If for some reason we have one who can't drive or walk, whoever of me or DH has not been drinking drives the sitter home. I ask the babysitter if they need a ride. I have had at least one whose parent wanted to drop off / pick up - which was fine with me.

Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 14:38     Subject: Re:who drives babysitter home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I will drive my DD there, but do expect that she will be driven her home unless there is communication otherwise. Those of you who hire sitters should understand that my DD may consider herself "free" to babysit even though I may have other plans. I am not necessarily at your beckon call to come and retrieve your employee when you happen to return home. I also always drove my sitters home when I hired them. If you want a sitter that you don't have to drive home, make sure they understand that or hire one that can drive. And NOTE once HS kids drive, they usually lose interest in babysitting so your best neighborhood sitters are in the 13-15 yrs old and you should plan on driving them. Otherwise, pay more and hire a college aged person or older.

This and other issues provide a great opportunity for young teens to work on their communication skills. I've had to train my DD to ask what families who hire her how late they expect to be out. Sometimes I give her deadline, "my parents won't allow me to babysit past 11:00." She can also ask, "does my mom need to come and get me or will you drive me home"?


When did rides become the employer's responsibility? I drive my DD both ways because this is like any other jobs, the employee provides the ride. Plus, I know so many people who drink when they are out that I'd rather ensure the safety of my DD. If I had other plans and I knew the parents well, then I'd say to ask if they would drive her home. I'd view that as a favor to me and I'd only do it with families I knew would not drink and drive my kid.


Exactly.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 14:08     Subject: who drives babysitter home?
Anonymous wrote:I don't allow my 16 y.o. DD to ride in Ubers by herself... so that wouldn't be an option

I would pick my DD up from her babysitting job at any time- but that's just me.


Really? I've been sending Ubers to bring my DD home from friends houses at night since she was 14. I track it on my phone and meet her outside.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 14:07     Subject: Re:who drives babysitter home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I will drive my DD there, but do expect that she will be driven her home unless there is communication otherwise. Those of you who hire sitters should understand that my DD may consider herself "free" to babysit even though I may have other plans. I am not necessarily at your beckon call to come and retrieve your employee when you happen to return home. I also always drove my sitters home when I hired them. If you want a sitter that you don't have to drive home, make sure they understand that or hire one that can drive. And NOTE once HS kids drive, they usually lose interest in babysitting so your best neighborhood sitters are in the 13-15 yrs old and you should plan on driving them. Otherwise, pay more and hire a college aged person or older.

This and other issues provide a great opportunity for young teens to work on their communication skills. I've had to train my DD to ask what families who hire her how late they expect to be out. Sometimes I give her deadline, "my parents won't allow me to babysit past 11:00." She can also ask, "does my mom need to come and get me or will you drive me home"?


When did rides become the employer's responsibility? I drive my DD both ways because this is like any other jobs, the employee provides the ride. Plus, I know so many people who drink when they are out that I'd rather ensure the safety of my DD. If I had other plans and I knew the parents well, then I'd say to ask if they would drive her home. I'd view that as a favor to me and I'd only do it with families I knew would not drink and drive my kid.


Did your parents drive you to and from your babysitting jobs when you were a teen? If not, why not? I think the answer is as others have suggested that it's awkward to have a ride "on call" unless you are going to arrive home precisely at the designated time. Most parents that hire sitters also think it's their prerogative to show up 30 minutes earlier or later than anticipated. Should the teens parents just sit in the driveway that whole time?
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 11:54     Subject: who drives babysitter home?
Anonymous wrote:I drive DD both ways. I definitely don't want her alone in a car with a man and I don't want her in a car driveven by someone who has been drinking.




I do the same. I was never touched inappropriately by the dad, but he definitely asked me some inappropriate questions. Also, the first time he drove me home, he tried to lean across to do the seat belt for me, which set off alarm bells in my head and I told him, "I've got it." I told my mom about it when I got home but she blew it off as him just being used to making sure his little kids were buckled up correctly. So later when he started asking the evasive, inappropriate questions, I didn't feel comfortable telling her because she'd brushed me off before. I tried getting out of babysitting for the family, but the mom was work friends with my mom and always scheduled through her instead of with me. It took one of the kids having a blowout diaper that I didn't clean well enough (on purpose) for them to stop using me.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 11:44     Subject: who drives babysitter home?
I only hire sitters who can drive themselves. I don't want to hang out at midnight making small talk while waiting for an Uber. My DH would never drive a sitter home. He's too afraid of someone falsely accusing him of something.

Also, we go out to drink so I would not drive someone's child after I'd been drinking.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 11:38     Subject: who drives babysitter home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My teen babysitter who does not drive has been babysitting more. I always get her to her jobs, but expect the family who is babysitting to drive her home. One family always seems to expect me to pick her up at the end of the night. I would understand if they ask on occasion if one parent is out of town and the other comes home and does not want to leave young kids alone late at night, but generally if both parents are there shouldn't one of them drive my daughter home?


I've never even thought to have the parents of the sitter pick their kid up.

I, thremom ALWAYS drive home female teen sitters. We also use male sitters and for that it is whomever has not been drinking. My DH won't even take a closed door meeting with a female one on one at work, so there is no way he will ever put himself alone with a teen girl in a car.


Your DH won’t have a meeting with a woman at work unless the door is open? That is extremely unprofessional, and if he has any amount of power could be discrimination/harassment.


Men are damned if they do, or damned if they don't.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 11:05     Subject: who drives babysitter home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My teen babysitter who does not drive has been babysitting more. I always get her to her jobs, but expect the family who is babysitting to drive her home. One family always seems to expect me to pick her up at the end of the night. I would understand if they ask on occasion if one parent is out of town and the other comes home and does not want to leave young kids alone late at night, but generally if both parents are there shouldn't one of them drive my daughter home?


I've never even thought to have the parents of the sitter pick their kid up.

I, thremom ALWAYS drive home female teen sitters. We also use male sitters and for that it is whomever has not been drinking. My DH won't even take a closed door meeting with a female one on one at work, so there is no way he will ever put himself alone with a teen girl in a car.


Your DH won’t have a meeting with a woman at work unless the door is open? That is extremely unprofessional, and if he has any amount of power could be discrimination/harassment.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 10:48     Subject: Re:who drives babysitter home?
Anonymous wrote:I will drive my DD there, but do expect that she will be driven her home unless there is communication otherwise. Those of you who hire sitters should understand that my DD may consider herself "free" to babysit even though I may have other plans. I am not necessarily at your beckon call to come and retrieve your employee when you happen to return home. I also always drove my sitters home when I hired them. If you want a sitter that you don't have to drive home, make sure they understand that or hire one that can drive. And NOTE once HS kids drive, they usually lose interest in babysitting so your best neighborhood sitters are in the 13-15 yrs old and you should plan on driving them. Otherwise, pay more and hire a college aged person or older.

This and other issues provide a great opportunity for young teens to work on their communication skills. I've had to train my DD to ask what families who hire her how late they expect to be out. Sometimes I give her deadline, "my parents won't allow me to babysit past 11:00." She can also ask, "does my mom need to come and get me or will you drive me home"?


When did rides become the employer's responsibility? I drive my DD both ways because this is like any other jobs, the employee provides the ride. Plus, I know so many people who drink when they are out that I'd rather ensure the safety of my DD. If I had other plans and I knew the parents well, then I'd say to ask if they would drive her home. I'd view that as a favor to me and I'd only do it with families I knew would not drink and drive my kid.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 10:17     Subject: who drives babysitter home?
I don't allow my 16 y.o. DD to ride in Ubers by herself... so that wouldn't be an option

I would pick my DD up from her babysitting job at any time- but that's just me.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 10:16     Subject: who drives babysitter home?
It doesn't matter as long as it's communicated up front and ahead of time.

"We pay $x and hour but we need you to get your own transportation to our house and then picked up when we get home. We should be home by X time".

or
"please get dropped of around X time and we will give you a ride home around X time when we get back"
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2018 10:14     Subject: who drives babysitter home?
Anonymous wrote:Wow. This is the paranoid generation.


Rightfully so.

Turn on the news once in awhile


NO. Just because you hear about things does not mean they happen all the time. Just because news is more easily spread, does not mean bad things happen all the time. You do realize your child has a greater chance of getting injured or dying in a car accident, then being assaulted abused Etc by the dad of a kid she just babysat?

You are raising an entire generation of children to be afraid of life. Be aware, yes. Be careful, yes. Be smart, yes. Be paranoid of every member of the opposite sex? Hell no!


In other situations, I would agree with you. I let my elementary age kids walk to the park themselves to play basketball or soccer, ride their bikes on local streets. I'll send them to the local store to pick up a few items they need or want. My 6th grader will walk around the city center with friends without parent accompaniment.

However, As a dad with 3 kids and used to have female teenage babysitters, I would never drive them home.

First off, wife and I usually drink on date night, so we walk or Uber home - so no driving from that angle.

Second, just a mere allegation or perceived impropriety by a father towards a babysitter will forever label him a creep, pedophile, etc...

Way too much to risk to a dad in this situation, and I let my kids take risks and laugh at those who won't let their 3rd grader walk home from the bus.

I'd probably be fine with letting a father drive my daughter home after babysitting, but for me, not the other way around.