Anonymous wrote:I can’t stop thinking about this. It’s not like some flashy tech job with stock options or dental surgeon or law partner. Totally unexpected.

You ever been caught off guard after a friend let it slip they’re doing really well?

When I was 25 and single and working an unrewarding job, I went to visit a childhood friend who despite not going to college had just bought a large new home containing three cars plus a motorcycle in his garage, and was about to get married. I wish I could say that I had the wisdom to change my life right then and there, but it took me about 5 years to really turn my life around. Some people shy away from successful people because of how it makes them feel. Some even seek out friends who are doing worse just to feel better about themselves in comparison. However I have since realized that one of the key ways to improve my own situation is to surround myself with those who are doing better than me, like my childhood friend. From him I learned the importance of being entrepreneurial, investing wisely, and giving up short term consumption for long term gains. I have found successful people to be incredibly generous and willing to share their experience once they discover that you are not jealous of them. Therefore I've trained myself to quickly get beyond the initial shock within a matter of 10-20 seconds and move on to expressing genuine curiosity of their achievements.

The flip side is also true. I generally do not discuss our finances with friends and let the chips fall where they may as they observe our consumption - I am not going to hold my enjoyment back for the sake of others. Some friends have stuck with us, most have not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has started making 7 figures in the last couple of years (previously at least $500k per year), it really hasn’t changed our lives other than we are padding our savings in a big way. I guess people may be shocked if they ever found out as we don’t live like he makes that much- he still drives a 10 year old car to work, we live in a relatively modest house, (value is less than he makes per year), and I’d like to do a winter and/or break trip but he thinks airline tickets are too expensive!! It’s a little ridiculous. Not sick to your stomach envy-worthy! Not sure how much he wants socked away before we can actually enjoy it. I really don’t feel any different or have a different lifestyle than my friends other than I don’t work anymore.

It changes your life in that a lot of worry magically melts away. That is such a big thing, and something worthy of being jealous of.

True, but we have felt that way for a long time because we live way below our means. Sometimes I wonder if we are being too cheap and should just get the nice house etc.

Don't you worry that some good old college friend can go bunkers if she discovers your wealth?

Lol. When I quit my job family was concerned about if we had to adjust our “budget”- no one has any clue. I think that is why my husband doesn’t want to buy anything very expensive or flashy.

how much do you donate to charity?

and how's that your business?

Feel free to share how much YOU pay in taxes and in charity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, our friends let it "slip" that they were paying $350K for the home renovation/addition they were building on their $1M home.

I expect they didn't let it slip -- you pressed them with so many questions they finally just came out and told you.

I have a friend who got made at me when she learned we had paid off our mortgage on a rental property. The look on her face was close to fury. I think it's because she had just bought a condo for more than she should have paid and she's worried about that. I only told her because she kept asking so many questions about why we don't sell the house, isn't it costly to maintain, what if we go a month or two without a tenant... Finally I just said "We have wiggle room since we paid off the mortgage."

Nope. We asked if it's been as stressful as we've heard others say. Then they went on to joke about how they argued for a week over how much Wolf/Viking appliances cost and then said well its a drop in the bucket when you are spending $350K.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has started making 7 figures in the last couple of years (previously at least $500k per year), it really hasn’t changed our lives other than we are padding our savings in a big way. I guess people may be shocked if they ever found out as we don’t live like he makes that much- he still drives a 10 year old car to work, we live in a relatively modest house, (value is less than he makes per year), and I’d like to do a winter and/or break trip but he thinks airline tickets are too expensive!! It’s a little ridiculous. Not sick to your stomach envy-worthy! Not sure how much he wants socked away before we can actually enjoy it. I really don’t feel any different or have a different lifestyle than my friends other than I don’t work anymore.

It changes your life in that a lot of worry magically melts away. That is such a big thing, and something worthy of being jealous of.

True, but we have felt that way for a long time because we live way below our means. Sometimes I wonder if we are being too cheap and should just get the nice house etc.

Don't you worry that some good old college friend can go bunkers if she discovers your wealth?

Lol. When I quit my job family was concerned about if we had to adjust our “budget”- no one has any clue. I think that is why my husband doesn’t want to buy anything very expensive or flashy.

how much do you donate to charity?

Anonymous wrote:My husband has started making 7 figures in the last couple of years (previously at least $500k per year), it really hasn’t changed our lives other than we are padding our savings in a big way. I guess people may be shocked if they ever found out as we don’t live like he makes that much- he still drives a 10 year old car to work, we live in a relatively modest house, (value is less than he makes per year), and I’d like to do a winter and/or break trip but he thinks airline tickets are too expensive!! It’s a little ridiculous. Not sick to your stomach envy-worthy! Not sure how much he wants socked away before we can actually enjoy it. I really don’t feel any different or have a different lifestyle than my friends other than I don’t work anymore.

you need a giant dose of perspective.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I enjoy living in a middle class neighborhood

Lol. Same.

What about that whole millionaire next door/Dave Ramsey thing? The middle class neighbors may have more liquid assets than those in the rich neighborhood.

Has anyone read the updated Millionaire Next Door book? I'm curious how the landscape has changed (or stayed the same).

There's an updated millionaire next door? Anyone read it -- what's the update?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has started making 7 figures in the last couple of years (previously at least $500k per year), it really hasn’t changed our lives other than we are padding our savings in a big way. I guess people may be shocked if they ever found out as we don’t live like he makes that much- he still drives a 10 year old car to work, we live in a relatively modest house, (value is less than he makes per year), and I’d like to do a winter and/or break trip but he thinks airline tickets are too expensive!! It’s a little ridiculous. Not sick to your stomach envy-worthy! Not sure how much he wants socked away before we can actually enjoy it. I really don’t feel any different or have a different lifestyle than my friends other than I don’t work anymore.

It changes your life in that a lot of worry magically melts away. That is such a big thing, and something worthy of being jealous of.

True, but we have felt that way for a long time because we live way below our means. Sometimes I wonder if we are being too cheap and should just get the nice house etc.

Don't you worry that some good old college friend can go bunkers if she discovers your wealth?

Lol. When I quit my job family was concerned about if we had to adjust our “budget”- no one has any clue. I think that is why my husband doesn’t want to buy anything very expensive or flashy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has started making 7 figures in the last couple of years (previously at least $500k per year), it really hasn’t changed our lives other than we are padding our savings in a big way. I guess people may be shocked if they ever found out as we don’t live like he makes that much- he still drives a 10 year old car to work, we live in a relatively modest house, (value is less than he makes per year), and I’d like to do a winter and/or break trip but he thinks airline tickets are too expensive!! It’s a little ridiculous. Not sick to your stomach envy-worthy! Not sure how much he wants socked away before we can actually enjoy it. I really don’t feel any different or have a different lifestyle than my friends other than I don’t work anymore.

It changes your life in that a lot of worry magically melts away. That is such a big thing, and something worthy of being jealous of.

True, but we have felt that way for a long time because we live way below our means. Sometimes I wonder if we are being too cheap and should just get the nice house etc.

Don't you worry that some good old college friend can go bunkers if she discovers your wealth?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I enjoy living in a middle class neighborhood

Lol. Same.

What about that whole millionaire next door/Dave Ramsey thing? The middle class neighbors may have more liquid assets than those in the rich neighborhood.

Has anyone read the updated Millionaire Next Door book? I'm curious how the landscape has changed (or stayed the same).

We started making more but stayed in our 3 br townhouse, which is paid off. Instead we sink a lot into retirement and 529s because I want to be fully retired when my kids start college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has started making 7 figures in the last couple of years (previously at least $500k per year), it really hasn’t changed our lives other than we are padding our savings in a big way. I guess people may be shocked if they ever found out as we don’t live like he makes that much- he still drives a 10 year old car to work, we live in a relatively modest house, (value is less than he makes per year), and I’d like to do a winter and/or break trip but he thinks airline tickets are too expensive!! It’s a little ridiculous. Not sick to your stomach envy-worthy! Not sure how much he wants socked away before we can actually enjoy it. I really don’t feel any different or have a different lifestyle than my friends other than I don’t work anymore.

It changes your life in that a lot of worry magically melts away. That is such a big thing, and something worthy of being jealous of.

True, but we have felt that way for a long time because we live way below our means. Sometimes I wonder if we are being too cheap and should just get the nice house etc.

Anonymous wrote:My husband has started making 7 figures in the last couple of years (previously at least $500k per year), it really hasn’t changed our lives other than we are padding our savings in a big way. I guess people may be shocked if they ever found out as we don’t live like he makes that much- he still drives a 10 year old car to work, we live in a relatively modest house, (value is less than he makes per year), and I’d like to do a winter and/or break trip but he thinks airline tickets are too expensive!! It’s a little ridiculous. Not sick to your stomach envy-worthy! Not sure how much he wants socked away before we can actually enjoy it. I really don’t feel any different or have a different lifestyle than my friends other than I don’t work anymore.

Gym time now Mrs Bezos.

Anonymous wrote:My husband has started making 7 figures in the last couple of years (previously at least $500k per year), it really hasn’t changed our lives other than we are padding our savings in a big way. I guess people may be shocked if they ever found out as we don’t live like he makes that much- he still drives a 10 year old car to work, we live in a relatively modest house, (value is less than he makes per year), and I’d like to do a winter and/or break trip but he thinks airline tickets are too expensive!! It’s a little ridiculous. Not sick to your stomach envy-worthy! Not sure how much he wants socked away before we can actually enjoy it. I really don’t feel any different or have a different lifestyle than my friends other than I don’t work anymore.

It changes your life in that a lot of worry magically melts away. That is such a big thing, and something worthy of being jealous of.

My husband has started making 7 figures in the last couple of years (previously at least $500k per year), it really hasn’t changed our lives other than we are padding our savings in a big way. I guess people may be shocked if they ever found out as we don’t live like he makes that much- he still drives a 10 year old car to work, we live in a relatively modest house, (value is less than he makes per year), and I’d like to do a winter and/or break trip but he thinks airline tickets are too expensive!! It’s a little ridiculous. Not sick to your stomach envy-worthy! Not sure how much he wants socked away before we can actually enjoy it. I really don’t feel any different or have a different lifestyle than my friends other than I don’t work anymore.

How did it slip? It's possible but unlikely that someone would "accidentally" mention it. The only way it could happen is if the college friend assumes you make a similar amount or more. My husband only has one friend with whom he'll discuss salary and money, and it's because he knows this close friend is in a similar position and actually makes more.

I believe that most of our friends and family believe that my husband makes about a third of what he actually makes (~$700k). I have two friends who would respond as OP did, so we would never let it slip. One of those friends would be shocked and jealous but get over it; the other one would be so shocked and mad that I don't think she would be friends with us anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I enjoy living in a middle class neighborhood

Lol. Same.

me too - I highly doubt I know anyone making even half of that. And I'm fine with that. Not to mention no one accidentally tells you their salary....