Anonymous
11/13/2018 16:44
Subject: Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not the ones that are working hard for it. Sure for the ones that inherited it. Money makes life easier - unless the trade off is your time.
+1000000
My sister works 60 hours a week. They have an incredible house, cars, designer clothes, and take vacations.
I am a SAHM. Our house is modest, we have one car, and my clothes are from Old Navy.
My time with my boys is more valuable.
What about the SAHMs who also have the big homes, lots of help and travel? You aren’t envious of them?
New poster here. No I’m not envious of rich SAHMs at all. I’m jealous of the women that have it all: a good marriage, a couple of kids and an interesting, stimulating career.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 16:38
Subject: Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
My husband is a physician, so we can afford what we need and much of what we want. The thing is, I don't really want a bunch of nannies and household help in my personal space helping me out. I want my own husband to be home more often so he can help me raise our kids like I thought he would when we got married.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 16:37
Subject: Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
Sure, I'm jealous of moms who have good help, which often depends on having money. But if I'm really honest I could afford to outsource more, I just haven't pulled the trigger.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 16:09
Subject: Re:Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No. I know too many kids who are being raised by nannies and it’s not pretty.
You can be a rich SAHM with a nanny just to give a hand. That is what I would love!!
I am a rich SAHM with a trust-fund from my biological maternal grandmother, and I outsource as much as I can (except childcare) for three households - ours, ILs and parents. ILs and parents live close to us and we want them to be able to spend quality family time with us, take care of their health and not be stressed about doing routine stuff in their homes. We have put in place a cleaning service, yard maintenance, handyman, cooking/prep person, yoga instructor and a masseuse for our parents. They are pretty healthy and active people, financially stable, fiscally responsible, who are retired and maybe do not need all the help that we give them now, but, we want to make sure that we have thought through everything that can make their lives easier and healthier so that they spend more time with us and our kids. I think services that buys you more time with your family is a great use of money. For our income, we are pretty average materially (homes, cars, clothes). Our money is spent on less visible things like - organic food, vacations, hobbies, staffing. In another 10-15 years, if we see the need we will also hire a part-time chauffeur/attendant for them.
This is confusing. Your grandmother left you a trust fund with enough to take care of three households but didn't leave your mother, her daughter, anything? Hence the need for you to supply her lawn care service and masseuse?
Anonymous
11/13/2018 15:47
Subject: Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
of course I do
If I had more money, we could have another child. Since we don't, we are sticking to 1 so we can still afford modest annual vacations and experiences
If I had more money, we could have another child. Since we don't, we are sticking to 1 so we can still afford modest annual vacations and experiences
Anonymous
11/13/2018 15:46
Subject: Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
I'd love to have more money as the life I'd afford my son would be better. Does that = jealous of rich moms? I don't know.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 15:41
Subject: Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
DH and I have a relatively easy and flexible jobs (40 hr/week, easy commute, etc), but I wish we could both work 6 hour days and 4 days/week for the same salary and benefits. I feel like my overall quality of life would skyrocket. I envy people I guess who have enough money to make that work for both parents.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 15:36
Subject: Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
I envy everyone with more money, they don't have to be mothers!
Anonymous
11/13/2018 15:31
Subject: Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
I don't know what you define as "more money." Am I jealous of moms with more money than us? No, but we have enough money to afford everything we need.
The only thing I'd like is to be able to live in the District, but we couldn't do that while maintaining our standard of living (saving for college/retirement, being able to afford private school--DCPS is too uneven--having at least 3 bedrooms, parking for 2 cars, taking at least one vacation a year). But I love where we live in MD and my commute would only be marginally better if we were in DC, so I'll take what we have.
The only thing I'd like is to be able to live in the District, but we couldn't do that while maintaining our standard of living (saving for college/retirement, being able to afford private school--DCPS is too uneven--having at least 3 bedrooms, parking for 2 cars, taking at least one vacation a year). But I love where we live in MD and my commute would only be marginally better if we were in DC, so I'll take what we have.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 14:52
Subject: Re:Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
I’m doing the same as my parents did for me- providing a grounded, happy home. Security and love are the only gifts worth giving- raising a spoiled brat is my fear.
It’s the difference between the fantasy of having money and the reality of it. One comes with a load of (good!) responsibility- but the main gift it provides is the ability to be secure. From security the world is already theirs - then you just face the same charachter issues any parent does.
My kids college is paid for, they’ll have a payment for their first house- they’ll have a LOC and annual gifting and all that-but I feel like the best gift I can give them outside of those things is a normal (I’d quite nice!!) childhood.
It’s the difference between the fantasy of having money and the reality of it. One comes with a load of (good!) responsibility- but the main gift it provides is the ability to be secure. From security the world is already theirs - then you just face the same charachter issues any parent does.
My kids college is paid for, they’ll have a payment for their first house- they’ll have a LOC and annual gifting and all that-but I feel like the best gift I can give them outside of those things is a normal (I’d quite nice!!) childhood.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 14:40
Subject: Re:Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
Yes, absolutely. I would love to be able to provide a robust college fund for my kid, and provide all the other opportunities that comes with more money. And of course, I would like to be able to outsource the busy work, like cleaning and maybe some cooking, so I would have more time with my kid that wasn't spent doing household chores.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 09:39
Subject: Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
Anonymous wrote:I do. I am not proud of it but I do. Life is so much easier for them and their kids get so many more opportunities and experiences.
Frankly, no. I guess we have enough to do what we want to do.
i'm more jealous of moms with loving and funny husbands, and curious and independent children.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 09:34
Subject: Re:Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
Yes definitely. I would love to travel much more and give my kids insane experiences like natgeo tours or something.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 09:21
Subject: Re:Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
More money? No.
Sometimes I wish we lived in a bigger house, and I know we could, but then we’d have to give up some of our traveling and other luxuries, and we enjoy them more.
Sometimes I wish we lived in a bigger house, and I know we could, but then we’d have to give up some of our traveling and other luxuries, and we enjoy them more.
Anonymous
11/13/2018 09:18
Subject: Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?
I am not jealous of anyone who has more money or opportunities than I do. I certainly WISH I could go on expensive 3 week vacations or have a top of the line cart, but it's not jealously. Even though we don't make as much as many of you ( "meager" 120K), I am very happy and have a very good life with my husband, my kids and my health.