"Huh, OK!" and move on with your day.

Anonymous wrote:Why is this bothering me so much???!

Hormones maybe?

Anonymous wrote:Be glad that she adores and feels such a strong connection to her grandchild. There are far worse things than a doting grandmother....

+1

My MIL did this with my first. She looked SO HARD for some connection to my DH's side of the family. She SWORE up and down he looked like one of her sisters. Um, nope - he looks just.like.me. But I laughed it off and said oh, yeah, I can kind of see it. When my youngest came along - all of it stopped with my oldest because DS2 is a DEAD RINGER for my FIL.

Anonymous wrote:My SIL ( married to my husband’s brother) does this in opposite....she can’t seem to let our ILs have any piece of their children. Now, I’m no champion of my ILs, but I marvel at the lengths my SIL will go to explain her childrens’ features so as to exclude ILs. One of the kids is a dead ringer for my husband and my SIL will say “goodness I just don’t know where Johnny got this tight curly hair. It must be from my great great aunt Jane.”

But this is what OP is doing, in essence.

The “ownership” of children is really weird to me. Everyone knows she’s OPs daughter, regardless of who she looks like.

My SIL ( married to my husband’s brother) does this in opposite....she can’t seem to let our ILs have any piece of their children. Now, I’m no champion of my ILs, but I marvel at the lengths my SIL will go to explain her childrens’ features so as to exclude ILs. One of the kids is a dead ringer for my husband and my SIL will say “goodness I just don’t know where Johnny got this tight curly hair. It must be from my great great aunt Jane.”

My MIL used to do this.

My daughter is now eleven and the absolute spitting image of my MIL. I got used to it over time, but she was one hundred percent right the whole time.

DD is a dead ringer for her paternal grandmother and great grandmother (DH looks like a mix of both his parents). If you squint a little and turn your head to the left on a Tuesday during a full moon, you might see that she sort of has my nose, but her other features are so pronounced and certainly from “that side”. I don’t feel erased at all by it; I just marvel at how cool genetics are.

Babies make people crazy. Both OP and her MIL.

I haven’t read the responses but when my cousins baby was born she looked just like my aunt (cousins mom). We all joked about it, even cousin. But it was mom, not MIL, and I guess that makes it ok.

Anonymous wrote:If it really bothers you that much, simply say, "Mary, the baby looks like me and my side of the family, too. I had a little something to do with it, after all!" In a lighthearted tone and with some humor.

Don't say this. You will look very childish. You may not like her but, what harm is she doing? It is just a way to bond with baby and make conversation.

She feels pride and love and connection - those are good things that will only benefit your baby. THere will be no confusion over who is the mom, you don’t need to worry about that. Let it go.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s sweet and certainly less awful that your MIL complaining that the baby looks nothing like her.

This. Get a life, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:When was the last time you were screened for post-partum issues like anxiety, mood swings or depression? It sounds like you may need to get into your OB.

Screw you, actually. As someone who legitimately suffered from both PTSD and PPD, I'm telling you to seriously eff right off.

OP maybe having some amped-up hormones, yes, but this is a pretty common and understandable--if petty/small--thing to be irritated about. For you to take a rather innocuous online vent and turn it into faux-concern over VERY REAL mental health problems is just disgusting.

It is a legitimate observation from someone who has a lot of children. Your reaction also is over the top so I would recommend that you think about that.

Nope. You need to stop. If this is something you do frequently--read an *anonymous online vent about something rather common and a rather understandable reaction* and immediately jump into faux-concern and blowing it up to PPD? You need to stop.

Sigh. Whatever you say!

NP. Angry PP, your reaction is a bit over the top to all of this. I too suffered from PPD (and I assume the person you’re disagreeing with is subtle in suggesting they may have too since they had “a lot of children”). In my case PPD then triggered chronic depression and anxiety from past trauma. Rx helped me, but I had to do a lot of tweaking to get to full recovery, then counseling and eventually tapering off over time. Did you get treatment for your PPD?

I say this with genuine kind intention here - your aggression is extreme for the situation and you should consider whether you’re addressing your health needs too. Maybe not Rx but you are demonstrating exactly the behavior you’re criticizing anonymously.

As far as the OP comment on being annoyed my MIL gushing - eh. Everyone tries to claim something about your child as a direct result of their genes and glory. Usually only the good stuff. . Comes with the territory of parenting. Just roll with it.

Be glad that she adores and feels such a strong connection to her grandchild. There are far worse things than a doting grandmother....

Anonymous wrote:This is so annoying. And yes it's because they're ignoring you and your genes.

They do not know her genes


They were not around her and her family when they were babies.

This is truly not an affront to OP or her gene pool.