Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We flat out told our kids that there are people like Grandma and Grandpa who are wrong and probably crazy.

So anyone who does not agree with your beliefs is crazy? Donald, is that you?

Anyone whose beliefs actively strip rights or privileges from others they they enjoy in the traditional majority are wrong, yes. this stupid arguement that tolerant people must accept intolerance or arr hypocrites needs to die. it's ridiculous and everyone who makes that arguement knows it

Anonymous wrote:On the other hand, it's also bad to tell him that your mom's views are wrong just because you disagree with her.

+1000

There are actually a lot of people who agree with your mother, OP. Obviously, as the child's mother, your POV holds greater sway, but who are you to say that she is wrong?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
What did you expect, OP? That every relative will agree with on ALL points?

Tell you child that his grandma is wrong on that one, and not to worry about it.

And try not to have those conversations. I get along with my family, but that's because we don't go into social issues. They are racist against other ethnicities and homophobic (some of them are not white).

All this does is teach your kids that you prioritize being polite or keeping the peace over standing up for what’s right. And that these views can’t be “that bad.” I grew up like this. My racist bigot of an uncle warped his kids thinking and now that Trump is President he has gone off the rails because he thinks these views are mainstream acceptable now. It’s torn our family apart, all because no one ever wanted to rock the boat.

PP you replied to. No. It's recognizing that some relatives views will never change, and making a decision as to whether to cut them off or not. For every example, there's a counter example: my grandparents' generation was extremely racist and classist. My parents' generation is much less so. And my cousins and I are progressive. All without rocking the boat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We flat out told our kids that there are people like Grandma and Grandpa who are wrong and probably crazy.

Define crazy.

Trying to train your grandchild to hate people because they're different from you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Half our country feels this way. I think you could use this as an opportunity to talk about your family values and how to engage with people who believe different things than you do.

This is inaccurate- only about a third of Americans believe that gay marriage is wrong, and more and more bigots are dying off every day.

Ok, One third not one half. You are totally wrong, if you don’t think that bigotry and prejudice will die off in this country. We need to learn how to engage with people with whom we don’t agree. This kind of attitude is what is creating deeper divisions and our country. I don’t think it’s healthy to tell a kid their grandmother is a nut job.

65 years ago we thought blacks and whites should go to different schools. Sometimes other people have bad values and are wrong. Really.

Exactly! Should we also “respect the beliefs” of those opposed to interracial marriage? Allowing women to become doctors?

Just tell him "Grandma's wrong. You can marry whoever you want as long as they want to marry you too. Let Grandma believe what she wants. We'll just know she's wrong, and that's okay. Everyone doesn't have to agree about everything."

Anonymous wrote:Half our country feels this way. I think you could use this as an opportunity to talk about your family values and how to engage with people who believe different things than you do.

You are about 15 years behind the times.

63% of the country now believes that same sex marriage is a constitutional right.

Anonymous wrote:We flat out told our kids that there are people like Grandma and Grandpa who are wrong and probably crazy.

So anyone who does not agree with your beliefs is crazy? Donald, is that you?

Anonymous wrote:We flat out told our kids that there are people like Grandma and Grandpa who are wrong and probably crazy.

Define crazy.

Anonymous wrote:Half our country feels this way. I think you could use this as an opportunity to talk about your family values and how to engage with people who believe different things than you do.

That's exactly what OP is trying to do -- fight the people in our country (however many there are) who are still bigoted against gays. The best way to deal with people who believe "differently" about civil rights is to tell your child "She's wrong. Ignore her."

We flat out told our kids that there are people like Grandma and Grandpa who are wrong and probably crazy.

Anonymous wrote:It's a good time to introduce the idea that different people have different values, and that you and your partner believe that its a good thing gay people can get married, but some people like grandma disagree. Values discussions can be difficult because they raise more questions than they answer, but its time to start.

Science discussions, on the other hand, are much easier.

The Earth was not created in only a few days and it is not significantly younger than carbon dating proves.

I'd focus on the science, how some of her beliefs are so clearly inconsistent with rational thinking, and so by the time you get to the values discussions her opinions don't carry any weight anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell him Grandma is nuts and obviously boys can marry boys.

Yes, because everyone who disagrees with you is nuts.

Do you ever wonder why there's so much discord in our world?

Ok, calling Grandma nuts isn't nice. But this isn't about "disagreement" or "discord" -- This is about fact. Everyone who says boys can't marry boys is simply wrong.

Parents have a responsibility to call out bigotry even if it's coming from Grandma's mouth. At least, if we ever hope to end bigotry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
What did you expect, OP? That every relative will agree with on ALL points?

Tell you child that his grandma is wrong on that one, and not to worry about it.

And try not to have those conversations. I get along with my family, but that's because we don't go into social issues. They are racist against other ethnicities and homophobic (some of them are not white).

All this does is teach your kids that you prioritize being polite or keeping the peace over standing up for what’s right. And that these views can’t be “that bad.” I grew up like this. My racist bigot of an uncle warped his kids thinking and now that Trump is President he has gone off the rails because he thinks these views are mainstream acceptable now. It’s torn our family apart, all because no one ever wanted to rock the boat.

+1

One of my students mentioned the other day that “it’s not right for two women to be married.” As the teacher, I didn’t want to engage in a political conversation, but it was important to me not to sweep it under the rug, not least because one of my other students had two moms, and to do so would have legitimized the other student’s beliefs to her.

I kept to the facts (“In this country, a person can legally marry who they love, no matter the genders”), and while there was a bit of debate, I got a note later that afternoon thanking me for addressing the issue.

Anonymous wrote:On the other hand, it's also bad to tell him that your mom's views are wrong just because you disagree with her.

. It’s ok to say “that believe grandma is wrong hecause.... I think grandmas brain doesn’t work right because... in our family we value respecting people who are different”. Etc