Anonymous
10/23/2018 14:19
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Jeezus, a lot of people are neurotic on here. He forgets to lock the door - BFD. OP, if you're so obsessed over it, why don't you do it? Obviously he doesn't think it's a huge deal and forgets to do it at times. Unless you're in the city or in a bad area, there's really little reason to get upset over this as the odds of a break in by testing out the front door are incredibly rate.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 14:18
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
U.S. Dept of Justice does cover home invasions. This report covers a 4 year period from 2003 to 2007. Data is annualized. NO deaths due to home invasions.
bjs.gov/content/pub/ascii/vdhb.txt
Highlights
*An estimated 3.7 million burglaries occurred each year on average from 2003 to 2007.
*A household member was present in roughly 1 million burglaries and became victims of violent crimes in 266,560 burglaries.
*Simple assault (15% or 155,400) was the most common form of violence when a resident was home and violence occurred.
*Robbery (7% 72,520) and rape (3% 31,080) were less likely to occur when a household member was present and violence occurred.
*Offenders were known to their victims in 65% or 2,405,000 of violent burglaries; offenders were strangers in 28%.
*Overall, 61% of offenders were unarmed when violence occurred during a burglary while a resident was present. About 12% 8,702 of all households violently burglarized while someone was home faced an offender armed with a firearm.
*Households residing in single family units and higher density structures of 10 or more units were least likely to be burglarized (8 per 1,000 households) while a household member was present.
*Serious injury accounted for 9% or 6, 527 people and minor injury accounted for 36% of injuries sustained by household members who were home and experienced violence during a completed burglary
Not mentioned above, the vast majority of home invasions occur between 10am and 3pm when people are at work. And this doesn't take into account the neighborhood you're in AT ALL.
So lets take worst case scenario. 45% of burglaries/home invasions happen outside the hours of 6am - 6pm. So we're dealing with 450,000 possible burglaries that happen at night when the homeowners are present. There are about 125 million households in the US at any given moment in time. So you have a .3% chance of being the victim of a home invasion while you are present. For violence, lets use the same proportions, so roughly 120,000 violent nighttime home invasions. You have a .09% chance of that incident involving violence of any kind.
None of that incorporates the reduced rate of living in a safe low crime neighborhood or the fact that you have a dog.
So. is it worth having a relationship eroding constant fight over this? To me, no. I, like your husband, would be frustrated that I was trying but jumped all over every time I forgot like we narrowly escaped starring in a real like The Strangers.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 14:15
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Was it Jeffrey Dahmer or Charles Manson that said an unlocked door was like an invitation to come in? I think it was Dahmer. People absolutely do test doors to see if they're locked.
Home invasions are extraordinarily rare. They happen but the odds of it happening to YOU, in suburbia are comically low. It is winning the bad lottery uncommon.
And yet it happens and the consequences can be catastrophic. Seems like locking the door is a very low level of effort to lower the odds even more. Furthermore, there's a difference between a home invasion and a burglary. Most burglars won't enter a house if they believe it is occupied but the ones who do are far more likely to be violent. Finally, the police in my area constantly admonish residents to lock their homes and cars and point to the many incidents in the local crime reports of unlocked cars being ransacked and the odd burglary that occurs when front doors are left unlocked.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 14:13
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
I have got it! Train the dog to lock the door!
Anonymous
10/23/2018 14:05
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Anonymous wrote:Was it Jeffrey Dahmer or Charles Manson that said an unlocked door was like an invitation to come in? I think it was Dahmer. People absolutely do test doors to see if they're locked.
Home invasions are extraordinarily rare. They happen but the odds of it happening to YOU, in suburbia are comically low. It is winning the bad lottery uncommon.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 14:03
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Was it Jeffrey Dahmer or Charles Manson that said an unlocked door was like an invitation to come in? I think it was Dahmer. People absolutely do test doors to see if they're locked.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 13:58
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Lock all the doors before you go to bed. If he unlocks one to take the dog out or whatever and then doesn't lock it again when he comes back in, then I think you can be mad. Otherwise, you're just telling him to do stuff for you to satisfy your preferences.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 13:55
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
I'd be really mad about this OP. REALLY mad.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 13:54
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t see the big deal here. Do you really think people are roaming your neighborhood checking front door locks?
Yes.
https://www.viennava.gov/DocumentCenter/Home/View/138
Overview of Personal Security and Safety Considerations for All Citizens Provided by the Town of Vienna Police Department
www.viennava.gov
Home Security
The facts about burglary...
• More than six million residential burglaries occur every year in this country. That's one every ten seconds!!
• Nearly half of these burglaries are committed without force - that is, through UNLOCKED doors and windows!! Most of these burglaries could be prevented.
• Always lock your doors and windows even when leaving for "just a minute." Never leave a house key available: under a doormat, in a flower pot, on the ledge of the door. These are the first places a burglar will look!
This. A lot of normalcy bias on this thread. People think because it hasn't happened to them yet that it can't happen. Or that someone can't drive to their "nice" neighborhood looking for houses to break into that have better stuff to steal than in their "bad" neighborhood.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 13:49
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused as to why this is even an issue. We walk around last thing at night, and ensure all doors are locked, oven, etc. is off, and all indoor stuff is off. It takes but a minute, and our house is 3500 sq ft.
The issue is her husband forgets because it isn't a priority for him. I'm sorry you can't step out of your own shoes and understand how somebody else's experience might differ from your own.
Okay, so it’s a priority for her. Can she now, say, walk down the hall, and lock the door herself?
I can’t believe this is an actual issue, nucleus’s one that has so many pages on DCUM. I know few perfect people, myself, including my DH and well, me. My priorities ar not alsways my DHs, and that’s why we are a team.
Arne sure the doors arare locked? Take a quick walk around th house, get your FitBit steps, and check all the doors.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 13:32
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t see the big deal here. Do you really think people are roaming your neighborhood checking front door locks?
Yes.
https://www.viennava.gov/DocumentCenter/Home/View/138
Overview of Personal Security and Safety Considerations for All Citizens Provided by the Town of Vienna Police Department
www.viennava.gov
Home Security
The facts about burglary...
• More than six million residential burglaries occur every year in this country. That's one every ten seconds!!
• Nearly half of these burglaries are committed without force - that is, through UNLOCKED doors and windows!! Most of these burglaries could be prevented.
• Always lock your doors and windows even when leaving for "just a minute." Never leave a house key available: under a doormat, in a flower pot, on the ledge of the door. These are the first places a burglar will look!
Anonymous
10/23/2018 12:55
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Lock the bedroom door as a reminder that doors need to be locked.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 12:29
Subject: Re:reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
This is not a hill to die on, but I see both sides of it. Get an automatic lock and realize that this really isn't a big deal, especially if you live in suburbia. He's not forgetting intentionally and the chances of anything happening to you as a result of it are slim to none. We live in Capitol Hill which is much sketchier than the suburbs (in comparison) and my DH does this occasionally. Once while I was out of town he fell asleep on the couch while the dog was outside and the door was left open all night after she'd come in until a neighbor walked by the next morning and texted me to make sure everything was ok. DH and our house didn't get robbed/raped/murdered although he was terribly embarrassed about it!
Anonymous
10/23/2018 12:25
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused as to why this is even an issue. We walk around last thing at night, and ensure all doors are locked, oven, etc. is off, and all indoor stuff is off. It takes but a minute, and our house is 3500 sq ft.
The issue is her husband forgets because it isn't a priority for him. I'm sorry you can't step out of your own shoes and understand how somebody else's experience might differ from your own.
Anonymous
10/23/2018 12:25
Subject: reality check please - husband who sometimes forgets to lock the front door at night
Yea, it's annoying and not ideal, OP. But I wouldn't actually be too worried about our physical safety, unless he leaves it unlocked more often than not. I think the electronic keypad lock is probably the best solution for your situation.