OP, a handbag is a relatively affordable luxury. Private school is not. If you don't get why people aren't sending kids to private school for $40K yearX12 years (and often times two kids), yet can still afford a handbag, you need to get out more.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand that mentality - wanting to look expensive to strangers - when MOST of those women are not super wealthy.

I'm not gonna jump on your case OP but I do want to point something out and basically alert you of something...
Not everyone gets "flashy" things for the sole purpose of trying to impress total strangers.
Crazy as it may sound, some people who you perceive as "flashy" may just happen to have particular tastes that don't align with Target or Walmart.
Crazy as it may sound, some people who you perceive as "flashy" may just happen to like certain brands, certain designers, or certain styles.
Crazy as it may sound, some people who you perceive as "flashy" may just happen to be minding their own business and they may just happen to be living their life and they may just happen to be thinking about what they like when they shop as opposed to your presumption that they're putting all this extra energy and effort into thinking about what total strangers will like with the intention of trying to impress.

If you're seriously confused about why the lowly proletariat has the audacity to not all dress alike in dull hued tattered rags with shoddy accessories
If you're seriously saying that only people of a certain class should be allowed to have nice things or should be allowed to enhance their personal appearance
If you're seriously irritated by the idea of people not aligning with your interpretations of how they should dress or what they should own or how they should present themselves...

Personally I sent my kids to public because we value STEM and the public school STEM programs my kids have access to far outstrip the private school STEM programs.

I don't like the social environment in private either but that's more subjective.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I clearly did touch a nerve. Predictably I suppose.

I want to clarify that what I find odd is not that there are SOME wealthy families who send their kids to public school, but that there’s a particular obsession at some public schools with being flashy. YSL handbags are like the least expensive designer handbags you can buy - but people buy them in part because they scream “I’m expensive” even to those who know nothing about handbags. And I guess I don’t understand that mentality - wanting to look expensive to strangers - when MOST of those women are not super wealthy. And most wealthy women I know don’t carry an entry-level YSL logo handbag.

Anyway, i don’t really understand what it is I’m getting at, but this thread is helping me realize it’s less about school choice and more about displays of wealth and their meaning that I find confusing, and interesting, particularly in certain subcultures (where half the moms carry the same handbag).

I'm calling BS on this being in Arlington. Which school are you talking about? Jamestown? The only place I see YSL bags is on hipster millenials in DC. Arlington is mostly LV Neverfull on the blonde moms.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I clearly did touch a nerve. Predictably I suppose.

I want to clarify that what I find odd is not that there are SOME wealthy families who send their kids to public school, but that there’s a particular obsession at some public schools with being flashy. YSL handbags are like the least expensive designer handbags you can buy - but people buy them in part because they scream “I’m expensive” even to those who know nothing about handbags. And I guess I don’t understand that mentality - wanting to look expensive to strangers - when MOST of those women are not super wealthy. And most wealthy women I know don’t carry an entry-level YSL logo handbag.

Anyway, i don’t really understand what it is I’m getting at, but this thread is helping me realize it’s less about school choice and more about displays of wealth and their meaning that I find confusing, and interesting, particularly in certain subcultures (where half the moms carry the same handbag).

At this point you should just name the school that you are talking about.

I'm the 3-5k/year handbag PP, and okay, I sort of get your point. We do have multiple extravagances such as expensive vacations, a lot of dining out, expensive clothes etc, but private tuition for 3 kids a year would run upwards of 100k (40kx3), which is far more than our indulgence budget.

Anonymous wrote:Your premise is wrong. There are plenty of wealthy families who PREFER public school over private school.

I am a product of excellent European private schools. Today, none of the still-excellent schools I went to are nearly as expensive as the DC area privates. I simply do not want to give money to the latter, which will go to luxurious facilities, athletics, administrators pockets, maintenance of those acres of pristine environmentally-unfriendly lawns and unnecessary tech in every classroom... when private school teachers are really not great because they are paid less than public school teachers. It's very easy to have good academic results when you select at entry. If the money went to excellent teachers, I would reconsider. But it doesn't, and it never will in this country.

. +1

Some of us are naturally blonde later in life (really!). I don't like being judged for it or for assuming that I am stupid.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe bc they can't afford it? I have a closet full of expensive handbags and wear a massive ring but no way could we afford private for multiple kids, or even 1! I probably spend 3-5k/year on handbags, which is a lot but nowhere close to tuition at a private school.

I think the OP is way off base, but I also think this response is a little disingenuous. I find it very, very hard to believe that your $3k-$5k (!!!) annual handbag habit is your only extravagance, and I bet your husband has a couple as well. When those are all combined, they add up quickly. Obviously I have no idea what the total would be, and maybe it doesn't come close, but taking each expense in isolation isn't OP's (poorly stated) point.

Anonymous wrote:Does everyone realize that teachers that work in private school don't even need to be certified and make less money? Most are trying hard to get into public schools to make more money but they aren't getting selected. Private schools aren't better- just good at keeping the kids you don't want your kids to go to school with out.

I went to private, and I send my kids to public. I had excellent teachers in private and my kids have had excellent teachers in public.

You assume that private school is per se better than public. Which is not the case.

Maybe bc they can't afford it? I have a closet full of expensive handbags and wear a massive ring but no way could we afford private for multiple kids, or even 1! I probably spend 3-5k/year on handbags, which is a lot but nowhere close to tuition at a private school.

Anonymous wrote:Similar question for the group: Why do all of the parents who pay over half a million on their kids private education send their kids to state schools? I'm amazed that so many privately schooled kids go to UVA, VT and UMD. (not that those aren't good schools, but it's kind of weird that some families paid a ton of money and others nothing more than their taxes and the end result is the same.... Same applies to private universities- the end result is the same but some families paid a ton to get there.

Because you can still get that exclusive school experience at state universities. You can't always get that at public grade schools. I get it.
If your local public schools aren't good, you aren't getting into honors' colleges at the state schools either.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I clearly did touch a nerve. Predictably I suppose.

I want to clarify that what I find odd is not that there are SOME wealthy families who send their kids to public school, but that there’s a particular obsession at some public schools with being flashy. YSL handbags are like the least expensive designer handbags you can buy - but people buy them in part because they scream “I’m expensive” even to those who know nothing about handbags. And I guess I don’t understand that mentality - wanting to look expensive to strangers - when MOST of those women are not super wealthy. And most wealthy women I know don’t carry an entry-level YSL logo handbag.

Anyway, i don’t really understand what it is I’m getting at, but this thread is helping me realize it’s less about school choice and more about displays of wealth and their meaning that I find confusing, and interesting, particularly in certain subcultures (where half the moms carry the same handbag).

That is both abundantly clear, and something on which we all can agree.

Uh, I think it's perfectly likely that some of these families that are flashy with money prefer public schools. You're making a big assumption, OP, that people only reject private school because they can't afford it.