Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in 6th. I thought things were going so soothly. She entered school with a group of about 6 good friends, including a best buddy.
Turns out her best friend of K-5 has been excluding her in events and lying about it after the fact when she "needs" my daughter as a friend again.

My daughter is crushed. It happened once and we wrote it off as a misunderstanding. It just happened again and we both know the friend was lying.
Why oh why are girls so mean?

We have been having a lot of conversations about what true friendship is. I'm encouraging her again and again to try to branch out and find new friendships.
I think we're getting there but it's a slow process to convince a 6th grader of these things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks for all the kind thoughts!

My daughter does have a few kind and low-key friends and she plays a sport 3 days a week with a great group of girls. They attend about a dozen different schools and there's no drama between them at all.
And she has a sister and a brother and a pretty great home-life. She'll be okay in the long run.

But geez.. the stuff that her "former BFF" is pulling. Example: my daughter, BFF and 2 friends texting about hanging out on Sat. BFF calls the other 2 friends and invites them over and lies and tells them that my daughter is busy. Ignores my daughter's texts.
The next days she lies and tells my daughter that "she didn't see her texts about being available". When clearly she did.

Just last year (5th grade) this girls and my daughter just had silly, goofy fun together--pretend play, making slime, cooking etc. Now she's excluding my daughter and lying. Give me strength.

Omg get a life if your own.

You should be this involved in your daughters social life.

NP. Stop with the "get your own life." If you can't understand a parent being sad that their child is hurting, that's kind of your own issue. And since when is knowing what is going on with your kids being "involved in your daughter's social life?"

Go away.

No it's the knowing all the exact details of who did what and when and THEN REPORTING IT ALL HERE and it turns out they're all 12 years old. Get a freaking life! Your daughter will figure it out on her own and she'll be stronger for it. We all did.

+ 1

It is kind of weird to do this.

Right, in the first post OP says both she and her DD know the friend is lying...why is OP inserting herself in middle school drama?

OP here. I'm not inserting myself into any drama. I posting about it online because my daughter shares things with me.
I don't interfere in real life--my daughter is the only one interacting with these friends and she is solving her own problems. I'm a bystander to this.

But way to be a jerk here when my kid is struggling. Does that make you feel better about yourself?
And we wonder why the girls are so mean.
You post about kids struggling on here and grown adults women all over you and imply that you're an idiot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks for all the kind thoughts!

My daughter does have a few kind and low-key friends and she plays a sport 3 days a week with a great group of girls. They attend about a dozen different schools and there's no drama between them at all.
And she has a sister and a brother and a pretty great home-life. She'll be okay in the long run.

But geez.. the stuff that her "former BFF" is pulling. Example: my daughter, BFF and 2 friends texting about hanging out on Sat. BFF calls the other 2 friends and invites them over and lies and tells them that my daughter is busy. Ignores my daughter's texts.
The next days she lies and tells my daughter that "she didn't see her texts about being available". When clearly she did.

Just last year (5th grade) this girls and my daughter just had silly, goofy fun together--pretend play, making slime, cooking etc. Now she's excluding my daughter and lying. Give me strength.

Omg get a life if your own.

You should be this involved in your daughters social life.

NP. Stop with the "get your own life." If you can't understand a parent being sad that their child is hurting, that's kind of your own issue. And since when is knowing what is going on with your kids being "involved in your daughter's social life?"

Go away.

No it's the knowing all the exact details of who did what and when and THEN REPORTING IT ALL HERE and it turns out they're all 12 years old. Get a freaking life! Your daughter will figure it out on her own and she'll be stronger for it. We all did.

+ 1

It is kind of weird to do this.

Right, in the first post OP says both she and her DD know the friend is lying...why is OP inserting herself in middle school drama?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks for all the kind thoughts!

My daughter does have a few kind and low-key friends and she plays a sport 3 days a week with a great group of girls. They attend about a dozen different schools and there's no drama between them at all.
And she has a sister and a brother and a pretty great home-life. She'll be okay in the long run.

But geez.. the stuff that her "former BFF" is pulling. Example: my daughter, BFF and 2 friends texting about hanging out on Sat. BFF calls the other 2 friends and invites them over and lies and tells them that my daughter is busy. Ignores my daughter's texts.
The next days she lies and tells my daughter that "she didn't see her texts about being available". When clearly she did.

Just last year (5th grade) this girls and my daughter just had silly, goofy fun together--pretend play, making slime, cooking etc. Now she's excluding my daughter and lying. Give me strength.

Omg get a life if your own.

You should be this involved in your daughters social life.

NP. Stop with the "get your own life." If you can't understand a parent being sad that their child is hurting, that's kind of your own issue. And since when is knowing what is going on with your kids being "involved in your daughter's social life?"

Go away.

No it's the knowing all the exact details of who did what and when and THEN REPORTING IT ALL HERE and it turns out they're all 12 years old. Get a freaking life! Your daughter will figure it out on her own and she'll be stronger for it. We all did.

+ 1

It is kind of weird to do this.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to middle school next year...I am dreading it. Does ANYONE actually like middle school and have a positive social experience?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That stinks but middle school doesn't suck for everyone. I set my daughter up to have several different groups of friends so that if there happened to be a falling out with one group, she wasn't friend-less.

So if there was a sleepover with her core group that she somehow wasn't invited to, she just made plans with a friend from a different school for that night.

That's great, but it's not that simple for everyone. Outside activities are wonderful but they don't always lead to friendships (sleepovers, etc...) outside the activity. That means a child who finds themselves outside their friend group at school (where they spend a lot of time) can experience some very lonely times.

I pushed to help DD form those friendships, and also, despite her being at a very small middle school I pushed her to have multiple friend groups within it. So she had friends from elementary, three friend groups in middle, friends from ice skating, and friends from camp. It's not that hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That stinks but middle school doesn't suck for everyone. I set my daughter up to have several different groups of friends so that if there happened to be a falling out with one group, she wasn't friend-less.

So if there was a sleepover with her core group that she somehow wasn't invited to, she just made plans with a friend from a different school for that night.

Omg, helimom, You are managing your teens social life so she has safety net friends???!@@! I hope you have her in therapy before the 'real world' happens to her. Such a helpless girl.

PP is annoying because she seems to lack empathy in her response. But she does have a point, encouraging your child to make multiple groups of friends is not being a helicopter mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That stinks but middle school doesn't suck for everyone. I set my daughter up to have several different groups of friends so that if there happened to be a falling out with one group, she wasn't friend-less.

So if there was a sleepover with her core group that she somehow wasn't invited to, she just made plans with a friend from a different school for that night.

Omg, helimom, You are managing your teens social life so she has safety net friends???!@@! I hope you have her in therapy before the 'real world' happens to her. Such a helpless girl.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in 6th. I thought things were going so soothly. She entered school with a group of about 6 good friends, including a best buddy.
Turns out her best friend of K-5 has been excluding her in events and lying about it after the fact when she "needs" my daughter as a friend again.

My daughter is crushed. It happened once and we wrote it off as a misunderstanding. It just happened again and we both know the friend was lying.
Why oh why are girls so mean?

We have been having a lot of conversations about what true friendship is. I'm encouraging her again and again to try to branch out and find new friendships.
I think we're getting there but it's a slow process to convince a 6th grader of these things.

Anonymous wrote:That stinks but middle school doesn't suck for everyone. I set my daughter up to have several different groups of friends so that if there happened to be a falling out with one group, she wasn't friend-less.

So if there was a sleepover with her core group that she somehow wasn't invited to, she just made plans with a friend from a different school for that night.

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks for all the kind thoughts!

My daughter does have a few kind and low-key friends and she plays a sport 3 days a week with a great group of girls. They attend about a dozen different schools and there's no drama between them at all.
And she has a sister and a brother and a pretty great home-life. She'll be okay in the long run.

But geez.. the stuff that her "former BFF" is pulling. Example: my daughter, BFF and 2 friends texting about hanging out on Sat. BFF calls the other 2 friends and invites them over and lies and tells them that my daughter is busy. Ignores my daughter's texts.
The next days she lies and tells my daughter that "she didn't see her texts about being available". When clearly she did.

Just last year (5th grade) this girls and my daughter just had silly, goofy fun together--pretend play, making slime, cooking etc. Now she's excluding my daughter and lying. Give me strength.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks for all the kind thoughts!

My daughter does have a few kind and low-key friends and she plays a sport 3 days a week with a great group of girls. They attend about a dozen different schools and there's no drama between them at all.
And she has a sister and a brother and a pretty great home-life. She'll be okay in the long run.

But geez.. the stuff that her "former BFF" is pulling. Example: my daughter, BFF and 2 friends texting about hanging out on Sat. BFF calls the other 2 friends and invites them over and lies and tells them that my daughter is busy. Ignores my daughter's texts.
The next days she lies and tells my daughter that "she didn't see her texts about being available". When clearly she did.

Just last year (5th grade) this girls and my daughter just had silly, goofy fun together--pretend play, making slime, cooking etc. Now she's excluding my daughter and lying. Give me strength.

Omg get a life if your own.

You should be this involved in your daughters social life.

NP. Stop with the "get your own life." If you can't understand a parent being sad that their child is hurting, that's kind of your own issue. And since when is knowing what is going on with your kids being "involved in your daughter's social life?"

Go away.

No it's the knowing all the exact details of who did what and when and THEN REPORTING IT ALL HERE and it turns out they're all 12 years old. Get a freaking life! Your daughter will figure it out on her own and she'll be stronger for it. We all did.