There is so much free time during the week in college that when you think about it, it really does beggar the imagination. At least there was at my fancy Ivy.

There is no fast rule about studying hours and study habits. I hit the library pretty early on Sundays, usually around 10 and popped out for lunch before returning and finished around 3-4? Spent the rest of the afternoon with friends or in the gym. But my friends' habits greatly varied. Some never studied in the library and only in their rooms. I always studied in the library and never in my room so the library was a second home for me. But being in the library doesn't guarantee anything, it can be quite social too!

I'm also confident the OP is a troll.

Maybe she left her phone in the dorm and went to the library

When you agreed to pay the tuition, what did you tell her your expectations were?

It sounds like you're mostly unhappy with how hard you're working to pay tuition, when you don't have a clear view that she's also working hard at her academics. Did you not set up expectations? Otherwise, wait until you get the results, and if her output fits what was expected, she's doing what you required and you need to not fret when she expresses a moment of being overwhelmed. If her output is not what was expected, then you enact the consequences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, sleeping in on the weekends is a given. I see no reason she should have to get up early on a Sunday to study, if she has the rest of the day/night free.

Well if you also know she did nothing academic Friday nights and all day on Saturdays it becomes very concerning.

Depending on her major, studying from 5pm-midnight on a Sunday should be sufficient (and I'm just throwing out a random timeframe to point out there are many hours in a Sunday for studying).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, sleeping in on the weekends is a given. I see no reason she should have to get up early on a Sunday to study, if she has the rest of the day/night free.

Really? Not my kid.

He knows he functions better when he gets up at the same time every day, so that's what he does.

That said, if she's working hard and takes Sunday morning to sleep in, it shouldn't matter. Taking the weekend off (starting with Friday afternoon)? No way is that good enough).

What is the difference if they study from 8am Sunday morning to 8pm Sunday evening or they start studying at 2pm Sunday afternoon and study until 2am? If that is the clock their body is on, what difference does it make? Some of my best studying was done late at night when I was in college. My mind simply was not "on" early in the morning.

Taking Friday off
+ Taking Saturday off
+ Strolling into study Sunday afternoon
= Slacker

That’s just not the conduct of a serious student.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a “work hard, player harder” top public university. The best tables/areas in the popular study locations were totally full by 11am on Sunday. Even partying sorority girls were there by then. If your child is sleeping in and loafing around they’re being an immature bum.

I don't know how you would roll out of bed after a night of partying into the wee hours of the morning and then roll into the library by 10 or 11 the next day, prepared to study. That would be brutal.

Usually they sleep until noon on a Sunday and start studying around 2pm. They might stay up until 2am studying. That is plenty of studying.

Hence “work hard, play harder.” If you’re not studying of Friday night and tailgating Saturday, you need to grind early Sunday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, sleeping in on the weekends is a given. I see no reason she should have to get up early on a Sunday to study, if she has the rest of the day/night free.

Really? Not my kid.

He knows he functions better when he gets up at the same time every day, so that's what he does.

That said, if she's working hard and takes Sunday morning to sleep in, it shouldn't matter. Taking the weekend off (starting with Friday afternoon)? No way is that good enough).

What is the difference if they study from 8am Sunday morning to 8pm Sunday evening or they start studying at 2pm Sunday afternoon and study until 2am? If that is the clock their body is on, what difference does it make? Some of my best studying was done late at night when I was in college. My mind simply was not "on" early in the morning.

Anonymous wrote:I went to a “work hard, player harder” top public university. The best tables/areas in the popular study locations were totally full by 11am on Sunday. Even partying sorority girls were there by then. If your child is sleeping in and loafing around they’re being an immature bum.

I don't know how you would roll out of bed after a night of partying into the wee hours of the morning and then roll into the library by 10 or 11 the next day, prepared to study. That would be brutal.

Usually they sleep until noon on a Sunday and start studying around 2pm. They might stay up until 2am studying. That is plenty of studying.

Anonymous wrote:Op, sleeping in on the weekends is a given. I see no reason she should have to get up early on a Sunday to study, if she has the rest of the day/night free.

Really? Not my kid.

He knows he functions better when he gets up at the same time every day, so that's what he does.

That said, if she's working hard and takes Sunday morning to sleep in, it shouldn't matter. Taking the weekend off (starting with Friday afternoon)? No way is that good enough).

I have a freshman in college. I have no idea where he studies, but I know he is.

If my child weren't doing what he needed to do regarding studying, I would be annoyed, but I have to say I am a bit surprised you know so much about her day-to-day whereabouts.

I went to a “work hard, player harder” top public university. The best tables/areas in the popular study locations were totally full by 11am on Sunday. Even partying sorority girls were there by then. If your child is sleeping in and loafing around they’re being an immature bum.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, sleeping in on the weekends is a given. I see no reason she should have to get up early on a Sunday to study, if she has the rest of the day/night free.

Well if you also know she did nothing academic Friday nights and all day on Saturdays it becomes very concerning.

She's in college. Why would any of you know whether your kid is doing anything "academic"??

Because we’re writing $30,000 checks twice a year. And she already expressed academic strain.

I still maintain that your level of surveillance on a college student is crazy. You're well within your right to set a line in the sand but she needs to face natural consequences or she will never learn.

I know times have changed, but my parents had no clue how I spent my time in college. They expected decent grades but they weren’t about to plan out my schedule for me.

Times have certainly changed. A year of college costs a bit more than wages from a summer gig. And so many have a bachelors degree, you need to take studies seriously to differentiate yourself.

Unless times have changed dramatically in the past 2 years, this level of helicoptering/tracking/stalking is still far from normal & students with over involved parents like this rarely do well post graduation.

-‘16 HYPS grad

You sound asian

Anonymous wrote:I don’t expect her to be in library Fri night, Sat day and Sun morning. But at least one of the above would be mature, esp a student who’s overwhelmed.

I can't say that I disagree with you. A student who is feeling overwhelmed/under prepared after spending time studying throughout the week should have the maturity to crack their books at some point over the weekend.

You tracking her from afar and attempting to remote control her from home is not going to be enough. She is either motivated to do this for herself or she's not. You can't do it for her and she can't do it for you. If she is feeling overwhelmed by her course of study you can suggest that she talk to her professors and course advisor.

If she left your home with good study habits and she is not employing them now, that is on your daughter.

If your daughter is having issues she needs to go see her academic advisor, go to the counseling center for a study skills/time management seminar, take her papers to the writing center, and makes sure she is going to office hours for faculty. If she doesn't know how to study or needs writing help, no amount of studying in the library is going to so her any good. It sounds like she needs time management and study skills, which is paid for by tuition.