Anonymous
10/09/2018 16:37
Subject: December 3, 1983
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me clarify one or two points:
1) I have been through therapy; this was part of the therapy.
2) I did not tell the police about the sodomy. At the time, I was embarrassed. I did not want people to think I was gay. (It was a different time; today I would not care).
3) I won. My life is good. I have a good job that I really enjoy and a great family. This evening, I spent it watching a great halftime show and a surprisingly good HS football game.
This week, though, has been like a gut punch opening up old wounds with all the reminders of early 80's preppy culture.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. But I am so glad that on most days you feel as if you have won.
Thank you for want you did. Thank you so much.
Anonymous
10/09/2018 14:10
Subject: December 3, 1983
Holy shit, OP. I am so so so sorry that happened to you! I cannot imagine the courage it took to overcome that. I'm glad you came here to share this and not use as an excuse to not do the right thing and not help. Your parents did well raising you. While what you did should be the default for us all, it was also heroic because so many choose to not do what is right. You chose to do it.
I cannot tell you how it pained me to read this. How I hate that it happened to you. I'm happy to hear you're doing well now, and I'm sorry our country and our government continue to disappointment so many survivors.
I cannot tell you how it pained me to read this. How I hate that it happened to you. I'm happy to hear you're doing well now, and I'm sorry our country and our government continue to disappointment so many survivors.
Anonymous
10/09/2018 12:12
Subject: December 3, 1983
Thank you, OP. I believe you and am thankful as a woman and a mother that people like you are on the world, being aware and taking action when called for. I hope, despite the actions and words of a minority of people, that the tide is turning and that more people will stand up in similar situations. You remind of the sweet (Swedish?) guys who helped interfere in the Brock/ Stanford rape (although they were not raped afterwards) - but they were quite emotional about what they saw and were clearly thoughtful people like you.
I'm glad to hear you are in a good place in life and hope that sharing and talking about it both helps you heal and inspires others to just do the right thing. Always.
I'm glad to hear you are in a good place in life and hope that sharing and talking about it both helps you heal and inspires others to just do the right thing. Always.
Anonymous
10/09/2018 10:04
Subject: December 3, 1983
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Two thoughts:
Men are raped in prison every day. Society jokes about it. There are hundreds of posts right here on DCUM doing just that ("....once Manafort goes to prison and gets passed around in the showers, then it'll be justice"...). No one cares when men are raped in jail, it's all a big lulz.
What OP did wasn't especially noble or heroic. It was what should be the default-action of every person.
And the sad irony in all this is that the girl he rescued from a fate she was completely unaware of awaiting her, probably wouldn't give OP the time of day if they met several years later in a social encounter. She'd blow him off, as women do with most men who approach them.
Sorry you dealt with all that, OP. It sucks.
Are you saying that the woman he saved owes him sex or a date as a reward for what he did? A lot of “nice guys” think that they are owed sex for being civil, and that kind of thinking is huge part of the problem!
Did I SAY that???
No. I didn't. Stop imagining things to get pissed off about.
I merely said that it's likely this would-be victim he saved, like most women, is probably completely unaware of how many genuinely nice men are out there. But they're all under your radar because many of you spend so much of your energy either chasing, complaining about, or running away from the small percentage of men who are a-holes.
Stop seeking out things to be mad about. You're part of the problem.
Who are these men’s rights activists clogging DCUM lately?
Trust me on this- it’s not just women who find you repellant.
Anonymous
10/09/2018 08:38
Subject: Re:December 3, 1983
OP, thank you for sharing your story! I believe it happened; actually, I do not find it particularly surprising or hard to believe, considering the times. I like to think that it would be handled differently today and that we have progressed as a society in this regard. I am trying to teach my son to think for himself and stand up for what is right. The mob mentality is a strong pull.
Anonymous
10/09/2018 07:28
Subject: December 3, 1983
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Two thoughts:
Men are raped in prison every day. Society jokes about it. There are hundreds of posts right here on DCUM doing just that ("....once Manafort goes to prison and gets passed around in the showers, then it'll be justice"...). No one cares when men are raped in jail, it's all a big lulz.
What OP did wasn't especially noble or heroic. It was what should be the default-action of every person.
And the sad irony in all this is that the girl he rescued from a fate she was completely unaware of awaiting her, probably wouldn't give OP the time of day if they met several years later in a social encounter. She'd blow him off, as women do with most men who approach them.
Sorry you dealt with all that, OP. It sucks.
Are you saying that the woman he saved owes him sex or a date as a reward for what he did? A lot of “nice guys” think that they are owed sex for being civil, and that kind of thinking is huge part of the problem!
Did I SAY that???
No. I didn't. Stop imagining things to get pissed off about.
I merely said that it's likely this would-be victim he saved, like most women, is probably completely unaware of how many genuinely nice men are out there. But they're all under your radar because many of you spend so much of your energy either chasing, complaining about, or running away from the small percentage of men who are a-holes.
Stop seeking out things to be mad about. You're part of the problem.
Nice guys don't say the things that you said.
Whether or not she would have slept with him at a later social encounter has nothing to do with the situation. I try to be a good person and I've helped out many men, but I don't go around thinking it's unjust that attractive, rich men aren't interested in me.
OP sounds like a genuinely good guy who did the right thing because she was a human in need, not because he thought it would boost his sex ranking.
I never claimed to be a nice guy. I actually work at not being one, since nice is a default condition. You have to go against your nature to suppress it. I struggle to stay somewhere between nice and a-hole. It works out better that way, because many women simply do not want nice. Marriage taught me that. Expensive lesson, but it's the only way nice men really learn this.
Anonymous
10/09/2018 00:20
Subject: Re:December 3, 1983
OP, you are a hero. Many people know what the right thing is and fail to do it. You did save her life. It's sad that with all the great things that man has been able to accomplish in technology, art, etc that we still all can't be decent to one another.
Anonymous
10/06/2018 17:38
Subject: December 3, 1983
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Two thoughts:
Men are raped in prison every day. Society jokes about it. There are hundreds of posts right here on DCUM doing just that ("....once Manafort goes to prison and gets passed around in the showers, then it'll be justice"...). No one cares when men are raped in jail, it's all a big lulz.
What OP did wasn't especially noble or heroic. It was what should be the default-action of every person.
And the sad irony in all this is that the girl he rescued from a fate she was completely unaware of awaiting her, probably wouldn't give OP the time of day if they met several years later in a social encounter. She'd blow him off, as women do with most men who approach them.
Sorry you dealt with all that, OP. It sucks.
Are you saying that the woman he saved owes him sex or a date as a reward for what he did? A lot of “nice guys” think that they are owed sex for being civil, and that kind of thinking is huge part of the problem!
Did I SAY that???
No. I didn't. Stop imagining things to get pissed off about.
I merely said that it's likely this would-be victim he saved, like most women, is probably completely unaware of how many genuinely nice men are out there. But they're all under your radar because many of you spend so much of your energy either chasing, complaining about, or running away from the small percentage of men who are a-holes.
Stop seeking out things to be mad about. You're part of the problem.
Nice guys don't say the things that you said.
Whether or not she would have slept with him at a later social encounter has nothing to do with the situation. I try to be a good person and I've helped out many men, but I don't go around thinking it's unjust that attractive, rich men aren't interested in me.
OP sounds like a genuinely good guy who did the right thing because she was a human in need, not because he thought it would boost his sex ranking.
Anonymous
10/06/2018 13:24
Subject: December 3, 1983
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Two thoughts:
Men are raped in prison every day. Society jokes about it. There are hundreds of posts right here on DCUM doing just that ("....once Manafort goes to prison and gets passed around in the showers, then it'll be justice"...). No one cares when men are raped in jail, it's all a big lulz.
What OP did wasn't especially noble or heroic. It was what should be the default-action of every person.
And the sad irony in all this is that the girl he rescued from a fate she was completely unaware of awaiting her, probably wouldn't give OP the time of day if they met several years later in a social encounter. She'd blow him off, as women do with most men who approach them.
Sorry you dealt with all that, OP. It sucks.
Are you saying that the woman he saved owes him sex or a date as a reward for what he did? A lot of “nice guys” think that they are owed sex for being civil, and that kind of thinking is huge part of the problem!
Did I SAY that???
No. I didn't. Stop imagining things to get pissed off about.
I merely said that it's likely this would-be victim he saved, like most women, is probably completely unaware of how many genuinely nice men are out there. But they're all under your radar because many of you spend so much of your energy either chasing, complaining about, or running away from the small percentage of men who are a-holes.
Stop seeking out things to be mad about. You're part of the problem.
Anonymous
10/06/2018 11:11
Subject: December 3, 1983
OP - I have a similar story without such an awful ending, my heart goes out to you. A male a friend and I stepped in when we saw a falling down drunk young woman alone outside a bar late at night when we were in our late 20s and she was likely about the same. We steppped in when a some guys that looked disturbing were starting to congregate around her. It was a total PITA to deal with her but could not in good conscience leave her there.
These last few weeks have made me reflect a lot on disturbing experiences my friends and I had in our youth, some of them definite date rape moments we did not recognize as such at the time. I am 54. The 80s were no picnic in this regard.
These last few weeks have made me reflect a lot on disturbing experiences my friends and I had in our youth, some of them definite date rape moments we did not recognize as such at the time. I am 54. The 80s were no picnic in this regard.
Anonymous
10/06/2018 08:54
Subject: December 3, 1983
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Two thoughts:
Men are raped in prison every day. Society jokes about it. There are hundreds of posts right here on DCUM doing just that ("....once Manafort goes to prison and gets passed around in the showers, then it'll be justice"...). No one cares when men are raped in jail, it's all a big lulz.
What OP did wasn't especially noble or heroic. It was what should be the default-action of every person.
And the sad irony in all this is that the girl he rescued from a fate she was completely unaware of awaiting her, probably wouldn't give OP the time of day if they met several years later in a social encounter. She'd blow him off, as women do with most men who approach them.
Sorry you dealt with all that, OP. It sucks.
Are you saying that the woman he saved owes him sex or a date as a reward for what he did? A lot of “nice guys” think that they are owed sex for being civil, and that kind of thinking is huge part of the problem!
OP here. Just to be clear, I do not think I deserved anything from her. Definitely not Sex or a Date. Now, granted that is 55 yo me writing this. But, she was underage...15.
Anonymous
10/06/2018 08:29
Subject: December 3, 1983
Anonymous wrote:Two thoughts:
Men are raped in prison every day. Society jokes about it. There are hundreds of posts right here on DCUM doing just that ("....once Manafort goes to prison and gets passed around in the showers, then it'll be justice"...). No one cares when men are raped in jail, it's all a big lulz.
What OP did wasn't especially noble or heroic. It was what should be the default-action of every person.
And the sad irony in all this is that the girl he rescued from a fate she was completely unaware of awaiting her, probably wouldn't give OP the time of day if they met several years later in a social encounter. She'd blow him off, as women do with most men who approach them.
Sorry you dealt with all that, OP. It sucks.
Are you saying that the woman he saved owes him sex or a date as a reward for what he did? A lot of “nice guys” think that they are owed sex for being civil, and that kind of thinking is huge part of the problem!
Anonymous
10/06/2018 08:26
Subject: December 3, 1983
Anonymous wrote:Two thoughts:
Men are raped in prison every day. Society jokes about it. There are hundreds of posts right here on DCUM doing just that ("....once Manafort goes to prison and gets passed around in the showers, then it'll be justice"...). No one cares when men are raped in jail, it's all a big lulz.
What OP did wasn't especially noble or heroic. It was what should be the default-action of every person.
And the sad irony in all this is that the girl he rescued from a fate she was completely unaware of awaiting her, probably wouldn't give OP the time of day if they met several years later in a social encounter. She'd blow him off, as women do with most men who approach them.
Sorry you dealt with all that, OP. It sucks.
OP here. I want to emphasize the bolded part. Heroism -- nope not me. I just did the right thing.
Anonymous
10/06/2018 08:19
Subject: December 3, 1983
Thank you.
I’m so sorry.
I believe you.
I’m so sorry.
I believe you.
Anonymous
10/06/2018 08:19
Subject: December 3, 1983
Two thoughts:
Men are raped in prison every day. Society jokes about it. There are hundreds of posts right here on DCUM doing just that ("....once Manafort goes to prison and gets passed around in the showers, then it'll be justice"...). No one cares when men are raped in jail, it's all a big lulz.
What OP did wasn't especially noble or heroic. It was what should be the default-action of every person.
And the sad irony in all this is that the girl he rescued from a fate she was completely unaware of awaiting her, probably wouldn't give OP the time of day if they met several years later in a social encounter. She'd blow him off, as women do with most men who approach them.
Sorry you dealt with all that, OP. It sucks.
Men are raped in prison every day. Society jokes about it. There are hundreds of posts right here on DCUM doing just that ("....once Manafort goes to prison and gets passed around in the showers, then it'll be justice"...). No one cares when men are raped in jail, it's all a big lulz.
What OP did wasn't especially noble or heroic. It was what should be the default-action of every person.
And the sad irony in all this is that the girl he rescued from a fate she was completely unaware of awaiting her, probably wouldn't give OP the time of day if they met several years later in a social encounter. She'd blow him off, as women do with most men who approach them.
Sorry you dealt with all that, OP. It sucks.