Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is it exasperating?
Because it tells they don’t do the minimal effort to call you by your name. It shows disrespect.
This is the first time I've ever heard that "ma'am" shows disrespect.
I only use it to show disrespect. "Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is it exasperating?
Because it tells they don’t do the minimal effort to call you by your name. It shows disrespect.
This is the first time I've ever heard that "ma'am" shows disrespect.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Fascinating.
So are words like "thank you" and "please" equally superfluous in a "polite conversation", as you'd call it?
We're obviously from very different places, and northern culture absolutely mystifies me sometimes for its complete lack of civility. Buy y'all don't even realize you're doing it.... bless your hearts.
I think it's polite to call people what they want to be called. Many people don't like to be called ma'am. Doesn't really matter why.
And many women don't mind it at all. I'm not going to ask first. It's entirely said out of respect and kindness.
I think it's fine to assume Ma'am is ok. I personally hate it and I asked the guard at my job to stop using it. He argued with me. I introduced myself and told him that he's welcome to use my name. I also said it's fine if he can't remember my name but he could just say have a nice day or even nothing at all. He argued and argued that he was being respectful by calling me something I don't like. Not the first time I've encountered this type of thing.
That poor man was probably instructed by his employer to refer to people as ma’am or sir. Or his own mother and grandmother.
Talk about privilege. Smacking down people because of your precious sensibilities instead of thinking about other people.
You do not have the moral high ground here. Let it go. It’s not important.
Anonymous wrote:
We had a perfectly pleasant conversation. No, it is not required to say "Have a good day, ma'am". You can just say Have a good day. There is no way our employer instructed him to say Ma'am. It's not necessary at all! Who are you to tell me what to let go? Address people how they prefer to be addressed. Why is that so hard for you? Who are you to insist what to call someone else?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is sort of exasperating when a person who knows you calls you “ma’am”. Does it happen to you frequently?
It is polite. Too bad you were never taught manners. Also, in stores and restaurants employees are instructed to call men "sir" and women "Ma'am," because it shows respect.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Fascinating.
So are words like "thank you" and "please" equally superfluous in a "polite conversation", as you'd call it?
We're obviously from very different places, and northern culture absolutely mystifies me sometimes for its complete lack of civility. Buy y'all don't even realize you're doing it.... bless your hearts.
I think it's polite to call people what they want to be called. Many people don't like to be called ma'am. Doesn't really matter why.
And many women don't mind it at all. I'm not going to ask first. It's entirely said out of respect and kindness.
I think it's fine to assume Ma'am is ok. I personally hate it and I asked the guard at my job to stop using it. He argued with me. I introduced myself and told him that he's welcome to use my name. I also said it's fine if he can't remember my name but he could just say have a nice day or even nothing at all. He argued and argued that he was being respectful by calling me something I don't like. Not the first time I've encountered this type of thing.
That poor man was probably instructed by his employer to refer to people as ma’am or sir. Or his own mother and grandmother.
Talk about privilege. Smacking down people because of your precious sensibilities instead of thinking about other people.
You do not have the moral high ground here. Let it go. It’s not important.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Fascinating.
So are words like "thank you" and "please" equally superfluous in a "polite conversation", as you'd call it?
We're obviously from very different places, and northern culture absolutely mystifies me sometimes for its complete lack of civility. Buy y'all don't even realize you're doing it.... bless your hearts.
I think it's polite to call people what they want to be called. Many people don't like to be called ma'am. Doesn't really matter why.
And many women don't mind it at all. I'm not going to ask first. It's entirely said out of respect and kindness.
I think it's fine to assume Ma'am is ok. I personally hate it and I asked the guard at my job to stop using it. He argued with me. I introduced myself and told him that he's welcome to use my name. I also said it's fine if he can't remember my name but he could just say have a nice day or even nothing at all. He argued and argued that he was being respectful by calling me something I don't like. Not the first time I've encountered this type of thing.
Anonymous wrote:Good lord, what is wrong with ma’am?
It’s a polite honorific. Why are you making a big deal out of it?
If you have a problem with it then it says more about you than the word.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I hate 'ma'am. Nothing makes me feel older. I don't need you to know my name, though.
Where I grew up, you called all women ma'am, from your great grandmother all the way down to the 14 year old girl selling shaved ice at the pool. Age has nothing to do with it. It's a bestowing of respect, like "sir".
In my experience younger women are not called Ma'am. They are called "Miss". Sometimes "young lady".
"Miss" sounds patronizing and dismissive. As does "young lady".
"Ma'am" conveys respect and equality.
Agreed.