Anonymous wrote:

This is encouraging. I think other single parents understand without needing explanation. But kidless MEN, don't you want to find someone who will focus on YOU, and maybe want to have kids with you? Or if you have chosen to not have kids intentionally, then why would you want hang around with a parent who will always sort you to a second or third tier priority.
Kids
Family
Work
Friends
Exercise
Home stuff
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dating.....?

Anonymous wrote:All: don't give up. Once you meet someone, be upfront. Share that your kids come first, and that if they aren't up for the journey, then they can hit the road. As a single father in his 30's, I'd understand. With my career, 50% custody, and all the other intricacies of my life, I'd totally understand. Out time is limited.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All: don't give up. Once you meet someone, be upfront. Share that your kids come first, and that if they aren't up for the journey, then they can hit the road. As a single father in his 30's, I'd understand. With my career, 50% custody, and all the other intricacies of my life, I'd totally understand. Out time is limited.

This is encouraging. I think other single parents understand without needing explanation. But kidless MEN, don't you want to find someone who will focus on YOU, and maybe want to have kids with you? Or if you have chosen to not have kids intentionally, then why would you want hang around with a parent who will always sort you to a second or third tier priority.
Kids
Family
Work
Friends
Exercise
Home stuff
.
.
.
.
.
.
dating.....?

Anonymous wrote:All: don't give up. Once you meet someone, be upfront. Share that your kids come first, and that if they aren't up for the journey, then they can hit the road. As a single father in his 30's, I'd understand. With my career, 50% custody, and all the other intricacies of my life, I'd totally understand. Out time is limited.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yeah, men are just dying to find a divorced 43 year old woman with kids! That's what every guy wants!

A divorced guy with kids in his 50s would probably say yes to that.

(And then all the DCUM women scream, "No way, I'm in my 40s and ewwww 50-something to
men are too old!")

Hm weird I am actually a real live divorced early 40s woman with two kids. I’d love to meet a 50s single dad. I’d only consider a dad, actually. People who aren’t parents seem unrelatable to me. How could I be close to someone who didn’t understand the parent/child bond? His kids might be cool older kids, which mine might eventually enjoy hanging out with. I don’t want him to help me raise my kids however. Maybe get some bananas on the way home, ok. But parent? No. He can be like a friendly Uncle, max.

I empathize OP. It’s challenging.

You should read my earlier post as it might change your perspective on us men sans kids. I chuckled at your comment as I have played the role of “Uncle R” many times as it is perfect given the circumstances... BL - if you both want it to work, you find ways to make it work...

L_S

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me give you a single dad perspective; I am in a similar situation. Two kids, 50/50 custody. I understand your situation perfectly. My kids come first, too. If you can only see me infrequently, when our mutual parenting schedules permit, that's totally fine with me. If your current guy doesn't work out, find someone like me.

Single mom with two kids here. Date single dads. Boom. Nobody will understand your situation better or have more respect for you. I'll date men without children, but I don't see myself craving something long term from somebody who doesn't completely get my situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Lonely_Sojourner wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The right man doesn't care. My now husband knew my one night off a week and that was always our date night. [/quote

Completely agree... Widowed man (4+ years) sans kids here... Most of the ladies I've been out with have kids as is quite common in the DC area. My experience is if you enjoy each other and want to spend time together, you find a way to do it. I dated a lady for 9+ months and spent a lot of time with her and the kids (movies, ballgames, water parks, etc). She was a blast to be around and her kids were a pleasure to be around as well. I hated to end it on many fronts as she is a great lady... My goal is to find a partner/teammate and odds are she will have kids. BL- they're package and I am more than prepared to accept such, knowing full well that her kids are first and I'm second...

PS - The reason we broke up was over finances (hers)...

L_S

Maybe if you stopped referring to women as “ladies” you wouldn’t be such a lonely sojourner.

Wow... Now that is certainly a point to ponder... Being a Southern Gentleman from Alabama, I’m afraid I will always refer to women as “ladies” as it reflects a greater level of respect. Yes, I’m old-fashioned - I still open doors, assist with jackets and other winter attire. If some of the populace find this offensive, well, then clearly we are not meant to be. Being married for 17+ years, I treated my wife as a “lady” and old habits die hard. Granted, you are certainly entitled to your own opinion; however, I will have to say that your comment is a first. Having lived in 5 countries and traveled to many others, I have never been corrected of such. Welcome to DC...

L_S