Anonymous
09/19/2018 08:32
Subject: Re:Arrange my family in their rooms, please
Anonymous wrote:Offering the teen the small room for himself (if he chooses) is clearly the best option, but not sure why people are suggesting that the teen can put whatever toys or clothes he wants into the younger one's room. Has everyone forgotten that the entire reason they need to change rooms is because the teen can't keep quiet while going in the room when the younger one is sleeping? It would be outrageous to continue to let him in AND reward him with another room just because he's obnoxious.
Sports gear and stuff like that can be stored outside the bedroom. What else does a 14 year old boy seriously need that MUST stay in his bedroom? Seems like he'd mostly want his own bed and a door that closes.
Otherwise, put a rug in the shared room to soften the noise from floorboards and tell the older one that if he wakes his brother then there would be consequences. Like needing to go to bed, lights out, at the younger ones bedtime. i.e. no more practices and homework needs to be done in the morning after he wakes up.
Sounds like space is at a premium at Op's house so there probably aren't a lot of places to put stuff. You've got to work with the space you actually have. The teen could keep extra clothes in his brother's room but that doesn't mean that the teen should be accessing them when his little brother is asleep. Teen will need to plan ahead if he is going to get his stuff out of his brother's room and do it when his brother is not in there sleeping.
Anonymous
09/19/2018 08:26
Subject: Re:Arrange my family in their rooms, please
Anonymous wrote:My 10 and just turned 13-year old boys are till willing sharing a room. Same issues. Whoever gets up first does so very quietly. We have loud noise machine. Older one has to leave MUCH earlier for MS so clothes are put out of room early in the morning so there is no rummaging around. When he comes in from his later practices, he showers and puts clean underwear, etc on in bathroom before tip toing in room.
It seems to be working. The little one who is a lighter sleeper has actually been sleeping through MS wake-up and coming down almost 45 min after he's gone.
The little one slept until 8am, even with older brother getting up at 7:10am and me going in the dark to sneak out clothes older one forgot to pull out the night before.
I have heard from some 'older' brothers--think 20s and 30s who credit the room sharing to having a very close bond.
My siblings and I all had private rooms and get along well. But, my boys are ridiculously bonded. The guys also told me going to roommates in College was not big deal since they were used to sharing a room.
We have the extra room for whenever one of them no longer wants to share. I bring it up every now and then, but no takers.
Anonymous
09/19/2018 04:28
Subject: Re:Arrange my family in their rooms, please
Offering the teen the small room for himself (if he chooses) is clearly the best option, but not sure why people are suggesting that the teen can put whatever toys or clothes he wants into the younger one's room. Has everyone forgotten that the entire reason they need to change rooms is because the teen can't keep quiet while going in the room when the younger one is sleeping? It would be outrageous to continue to let him in AND reward him with another room just because he's obnoxious.
Sports gear and stuff like that can be stored outside the bedroom. What else does a 14 year old boy seriously need that MUST stay in his bedroom? Seems like he'd mostly want his own bed and a door that closes.
Otherwise, put a rug in the shared room to soften the noise from floorboards and tell the older one that if he wakes his brother then there would be consequences. Like needing to go to bed, lights out, at the younger ones bedtime. i.e. no more practices and homework needs to be done in the morning after he wakes up.
Sports gear and stuff like that can be stored outside the bedroom. What else does a 14 year old boy seriously need that MUST stay in his bedroom? Seems like he'd mostly want his own bed and a door that closes.
Otherwise, put a rug in the shared room to soften the noise from floorboards and tell the older one that if he wakes his brother then there would be consequences. Like needing to go to bed, lights out, at the younger ones bedtime. i.e. no more practices and homework needs to be done in the morning after he wakes up.
Anonymous
09/19/2018 01:07
Subject: Arrange my family in their rooms, please
Anonymous wrote:Current issue:
Kids share a room. 14 year old has evening practice and homework and disturbs 9 year old's earlier bedtime. He does his homework at the kitchen table, but makes noise coming into the bedroom at night. Floorboards are creaky, he blunders around, etc.
Ideally, they would need separate rooms, but one of them is closet-size! Which room to give to who? Any other ideas?
We're stuck like this for a couple of years. Then hopefully we'll move.
Here's the layout:
1 normal size bedroom, for the parents.
1 normal size bedroom, for both kids, 14 and 9.
1 tiny bedroom, in which a single bed would *just* fit (we measured). Right now there's a desk and bookcase in it, but it's not getting much use, kids prefer the kitchen table.
All the rooms have tiny built-in closets.
Opinions and advice welcome!
Move.
Anonymous
09/18/2018 21:14
Subject: Arrange my family in their rooms, please
My 8 yo has a room that's about 6x9. Loft bed, walls lined with shelves, and a small dresser inside the bottom of the closet.
Your other alternative is to put the teen in the basement.
Your other alternative is to put the teen in the basement.
Anonymous
09/18/2018 20:56
Subject: Re:Arrange my family in their rooms, please
My 10 and just turned 13-year old boys are till willing sharing a room. Same issues. Whoever gets up first does so very quietly. We have loud noise machine. Older one has to leave MUCH earlier for MS so clothes are put out of room early in the morning so there is no rummaging around. When he comes in from his later practices, he showers and puts clean underwear, etc on in bathroom before tip toing in room.
It seems to be working. The little one who is a lighter sleeper has actually been sleeping through MS wake-up and coming down almost 45 min after he's gone.
It seems to be working. The little one who is a lighter sleeper has actually been sleeping through MS wake-up and coming down almost 45 min after he's gone.
Anonymous
09/18/2018 20:55
Subject: Arrange my family in their rooms, please
Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe you guys would give the teen the smaller room. Of course teen gets bigger room. You get can move into it when teen leaves. That’s how it always is and should be. Otherwise younger kid gets the best deal forever.
Small room = privacy; Big room = space.
The small room is a deal for the teen because the small room comes with privacy that the big room doesn't. The teen can store extra clothes (neatly) in his little brother's bigger room and that means the teen can go into little brother's room when he needs to get a pair of pants or whatever. Most likely, little brother won't care that the teen is doing that.
But it's almost a given that the teen would not like to have his little brother come into his room, so the big room won't work for then teen in this scenario. Teens almost always opt for privacy over space.
Anonymous
09/18/2018 20:37
Subject: Arrange my family in their rooms, please
Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe you guys would give the teen the smaller room. Of course teen gets bigger room. You get can move into it when teen leaves. That’s how it always is and should be. Otherwise younger kid gets the best deal forever.
Well no.
The oldest kid usually gets the best deal.
The kid is in high school. Soon, he will hardly be home. He will be driving, dating, working, hanging out with friends.
A 9 year old will definitely use his room a lot more than a teenager who will use his room only to sleep.
Anonymous
09/18/2018 20:33
Subject: Arrange my family in their rooms, please
I advocate for teen getting bigger room and younger kids toys and extra clothes go into the basement.
Anonymous
09/18/2018 20:32
Subject: Arrange my family in their rooms, please
I cannot believe you guys would give the teen the smaller room. Of course teen gets bigger room. You get can move into it when teen leaves. That’s how it always is and should be. Otherwise younger kid gets the best deal forever.
Anonymous
09/18/2018 20:31
Subject: Arrange my family in their rooms, please
Anonymous wrote:Give the older child the small room with a loft bed and desk underneath. If it has storage like the Ikea Stuva loft, it should be all he needs. Tell him it's practice for the tiny room he'll have in college.
+1 He can store extra clothes in his brother's room.
Giving the older one the big room wouldn't work because the oldest wouldn't want his little brother storing extra clothes in his room. So oldest gets the small room.