Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Got married young. Had kids young. Never got my fun single 20s. Regret it. I’ll be 42 when my youngest goes to college. So I guess I’ll have my fun adventures in my 40s.

Honestly that's a fine time to have some fun adventures. Yes, you're not as vigorous or good-looking as in your 20s, but you have more money, more savoir-faire, and most of all you are free of the big existential questions hanging over your head in your 20s. For a lot of people their 20s are not actually a care-free time because there are so many concerns about what your future will look like.

+1. Op, you got what you got. No point in comparing and regretting. Some people are better off and others are much worse off than you - they look at your Facebook thinking how lucky you are.

Do the best with what you’ve got now.

OP, put in for leave at work and go climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. You have no kids and no obligations to a spouse. Married people have that and can’t go when they want. Go to the beach tomorrow.

They’ll be divorced in a few years...

Everything you see on Facebook is the whole unvarnished truth. Some lucky people just lead curated lives. Keep striving for that perfection, OP!!

I got married at 21. We divorced at 31. I'm 36 now and single. There are no guarantees. Most people who marry as young as I did have no clue who they are let alone who they'll be compatible with when they fully mature and get settled into life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Got married young. Had kids young. Never got my fun single 20s. Regret it. I’ll be 42 when my youngest goes to college. So I guess I’ll have my fun adventures in my 40s.

Honestly that's a fine time to have some fun adventures. Yes, you're not as vigorous or good-looking as in your 20s, but you have more money, more savoir-faire, and most of all you are free of the big existential questions hanging over your head in your 20s. For a lot of people their 20s are not actually a care-free time because there are so many concerns about what your future will look like.

+1. Op, you got what you got. No point in comparing and regretting. Some people are better off and others are much worse off than you - they look at your Facebook thinking how lucky you are.

Do the best with what you’ve got now.

Anonymous wrote:We got married at 20, pregnant, put ourselves through grad school through loans, scholarships, and some family help, had four kids before 30, got rich, put our kids through college, then stopped working in our early 50s with $6 million in the bank and are now living large!

That not much to live on for another 45 years. That's a long time. You got out too early.

Anonymous wrote:OP: you are a loser. At 30 I had a PhD, a wife, owned a house, had 2 cars, 2 dogs, a great social life, and I traveled a lot.

Yet somewhere along the way you forgot to work on your shitty personality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got marrie at 27. The person I chose then is now who I would have chosen 10 years later. There are definite benefits to waiting.

I...would not say getting married at 27 qualifies as "waiting", particularly with the DUM crowd. And presumably you started dating him (aka "found him") a couple years before walking down the aisle?

Um, I think she was pointing out that she didn’t wait. And is suffering for it.

I live in the Langley area and in my neighborhood there are at least five couples where the husbands are about twenty years older than the wives. They are either 2nd wife or 3rd wife. These guys are successful in their fields and live in at least 3M+ homes.

As for me, I married late in life. Did not get marry until I was 37 years old to a 25 years old woman, had my first child when I turned 40. I also live in a 3M home but that's my parents home. I am in the STEM field but I only make 100k/year and that's perfectly fine with me. My wife is a SAHM because we don't have to pay rent so life is really good.

Your sister’s friend will stop enjoying sex with her husband in a few years. She will tell him he needs to do more chores and helping with kids. They will have a near sexless marriage and he will cheat. Or she will lose attraction to him inexplicably and cheat with a guy at work. It’s statistically certain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aside from people from my parents’ generation and older I have never known anyone who married in their early 20s who didn’t eventually get divorced.

Really? I'm 40 and nearly all of my college friends married in their 20s. I met my DH exactly 20yrs ago. Only 1 friend is divorced

My recent friends that I met in DC, many of them are older than me (our kids are same age) and I'm very sad much of our local social network has fallen apart due to divorces between these friends.

Did most of your friends who married in their twenties marry their college sweetheart?

Anonymous wrote:I wish I was in your shoes. You at least have someone I’m 34 and alone. Pretty much accepted I’ll dlways be single.

What?! No!! You are still young.

Anonymous wrote:I just noticed a friend of my younger sisters is pregnant on my Facebook feed. She is 26.married at 24. Her husband is also 26. I notice he is a stem major and probably makes bank. They look like they have their life figured out.

Meanwhile husband and I are early thirties. Still can’t afgord a child. Or a house.

Lol. Feel like a loser.

I don't envy them for bank, I'm OK financially but I envy them for having children young, and not being limited to a particular # of children. I'm 45 with three under eight. This is how life worked out. If I had my preferences, I'd be done with childrearing by early thirties but I didn't get to do that.

I'm in my mid 40's now and went through similar feelings of envy when I was in my late 20's/early 30's. My husband is in a field that isn't high earning and it used to be bother me and I felt envious of others supposedly perfect marriages and lives. Since then I've seen a lot of these "perfect" marriages implode. Now I am so happy and thankful to have my husband-a good guy and someone I am still attracted to and have fun with. I have a lot more perspective than I did 15 years ago.

Social media blows and for the most part is a waste of time. Limit your time on social media or get off completely. Focus on your own life. If there are things in your marriage that you can work on, focus on that or work on improving your finances, etc. If you love your husband and are happy other than the financial aspect don't waste time wishing you were with a guy that made more money. Seriously. I look back and am really thankful that I didn't let my envy re: money influence me to throw away or ruin a good thing.

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't make you a loser. Not everyone who found a husband young keeps them (married at 23, kid at 27, divorced at 28). Plus you are assuming they make bank, you don't know; and no one posts on Facebook when their life sucks, just when it's great, so it's an unrealistic image of a whole life. You have a husband and are (I assume) happy, a house and a kid maybe will come if you want it, no rush

OTOH, it's just as possible that they DO make bank and that they ARE happy. Still has nothing to do with her. Love and money aren't a zero sum game. There's enough for everyone.