Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s not big deal to go and I’ve traveled to much more challenging places (I also work in international development) however it was phenomenally stupid not to get the vaccines recommend by the CDC for Bangladesh (Hep A and typhoid).

OP here. I know but right now it's hard to pay for the vaccinations. I would have to spend $500 for myself and our child. We will not be eating at restaurants or out in public much.

This is irresponsibile. Get the vaccines. My DH was posted there for work and it was a miserable experience for him.

How is this relevant? Did he not get the vaccines?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s not big deal to go and I’ve traveled to much more challenging places (I also work in international development) however it was phenomenally stupid not to get the vaccines recommend by the CDC for Bangladesh (Hep A and typhoid).

OP here. I know but right now it's hard to pay for the vaccinations. I would have to spend $500 for myself and our child. We will not be eating at restaurants or out in public much.

This is irresponsibile. Get the vaccines. My DH was posted there for work and it was a miserable experience for him.

I would have done the vaccinations.
I’ve spent time in India. I’m white, and yes, you get stared at especially in the somewhat less urban parts. But I find that *I* ALSO state at the white people I cross paths with! It’s just such a contrast and they stick out. There’s no malice behind it. Dress modestly and take your cues from your husband and in-laws. Learn a few phrases before you go, to show goodwill. Do not reject all the food your in-laws will make. You can add yogurt to make things less spicy, and/or they can make dishes for you and your DC that are less spicy. Food is love. Don’t reject it.

I think your husband would not be wrong to divorce you if you refused to go visit his family. That’s a big part of who he is, and by rejecting it you are rejecting and denying a big part of who he is. And your child is half Bangladeshi. Living in the white-dominated US, it’s important to do what you can to connect your child to that part of who he is.

OP if it helps when we lived in Dubai we knew people who went to Bangladesh for vacation. They went specifically to some old boatyard where they watched boats being broken up. As odd as it sounds it was apparently fascinating. They survived just fine and enjoyed the experience.

It really is developing third world, however. Just be prepared to see things that will sadden you.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s not big deal to go and I’ve traveled to much more challenging places (I also work in international development) however it was phenomenally stupid not to get the vaccines recommend by the CDC for Bangladesh (Hep A and typhoid).

OP here. I know but right now it's hard to pay for the vaccinations. I would have to spend $500 for myself and our child. We will not be eating at restaurants or out in public much.

I think it’s not big deal to go and I’ve traveled to much more challenging places (I also work in international development) however it was phenomenally stupid not to get the vaccines recommend by the CDC for Bangladesh (Hep A and typhoid).

OP, I don't have anything to add, but have followed this thread with interest!

I would love to hear a report from your trip when you get back. How did things work out? Did you manage to avoid any GI distress? Were any of your fears realized? Any pleasant surprises??

OP, I don't have anything to add, but have followed this thread with interest!

I would love to hear a report from your trip when you get back. How did things work out? Did you manage to avoid any GI distress? Were any of your fears realized? Any pleasant surprises??

Anonymous wrote:I see from your update that you are planning to go soon. Great! Don't wear a burka unless your ILs directly suggest it. You'll look ridiculous and be a huge joke. Long tunics with shawl is sufficient.

Steel yourself for the staring. It's nothing personal - they stare at everyone. I'm Bangladeshi-Am and have been traveling there annually since birth. I still get the stares from random people. Don't let it get it to, they're not targeting you for harassment. It's purely curiosity.

OP here. I don't think I will wear a burka but it's not because my in laws will think of me as a huge joke. If I can't take all the staring then I may have to get creative with my shawl

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would recommend reading more about Bangladesh. Grab a travel guide and read it cover to cover (Lonely Planet Bangladesh would be fine).

It will cover:
What you should wear to be culturally respectful
Travel concerns
Food concerns
I think they also have a "travel with children" section

People might stare at you. You won't die if people stare at you in a foreign country.

Does your husband have relatives who can't travel? I think you should figure out how to go.

OP here: Yes. His mother can't travel to the US because she's has a fear of flying. I am thinking to bring ramen noddles and dry snacks and eat those while I am in Bangladesh. I hope his family doesn't freak out that I can't eat spicy food.

Uh I thought you were sensitive to gluten....ramen is basically pure gluten!!!

I am sure she can find gluten free rice noddles pp. duh!!

She didn't say that though, she said Ramen which are made from wheat. Fake "sensitivity" people give real Celiacs a bad name. Like the people who jump all over the waitress to make sure their meal is gluten-free then order three regular beers. SMDH

Here's a link to gluten free rice Ramen. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00LRXF3BK/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1547296344&sr=8-6&keywords=gluten+free+ramen&dpPl=1&dpID=51HFac7dCEL&ref=plSrch

Why would she have to say gluten free rice ramen instead of just ramen?

OP here. Yes I meant I need to bring easy food like ramen. I found a lot of dehydrated gluten free food. The gluten free ramen is disgusting BTW. It's really soft and not at all like real noodles.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would recommend reading more about Bangladesh. Grab a travel guide and read it cover to cover (Lonely Planet Bangladesh would be fine).

It will cover:
What you should wear to be culturally respectful
Travel concerns
Food concerns
I think they also have a "travel with children" section

People might stare at you. You won't die if people stare at you in a foreign country.

Does your husband have relatives who can't travel? I think you should figure out how to go.

OP here: Yes. His mother can't travel to the US because she's has a fear of flying. I am thinking to bring ramen noddles and dry snacks and eat those while I am in Bangladesh. I hope his family doesn't freak out that I can't eat spicy food.

Uh I thought you were sensitive to gluten....ramen is basically pure gluten!!!

I am sure she can find gluten free rice noddles pp. duh!!

She didn't say that though, she said Ramen which are made from wheat. Fake "sensitivity" people give real Celiacs a bad name. Like the people who jump all over the waitress to make sure their meal is gluten-free then order three regular beers. SMDH

Here's a link to gluten free rice Ramen. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00LRXF3BK/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1547296344&sr=8-6&keywords=gluten+free+ramen&dpPl=1&dpID=51HFac7dCEL&ref=plSrch

Why would she have to say gluten free rice ramen instead of just ramen?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would recommend reading more about Bangladesh. Grab a travel guide and read it cover to cover (Lonely Planet Bangladesh would be fine).

It will cover:
What you should wear to be culturally respectful
Travel concerns
Food concerns
I think they also have a "travel with children" section

People might stare at you. You won't die if people stare at you in a foreign country.

Does your husband have relatives who can't travel? I think you should figure out how to go.

OP here: Yes. His mother can't travel to the US because she's has a fear of flying. I am thinking to bring ramen noddles and dry snacks and eat those while I am in Bangladesh. I hope his family doesn't freak out that I can't eat spicy food.

Uh I thought you were sensitive to gluten....ramen is basically pure gluten!!!

I am sure she can find gluten free rice noddles pp. duh!!

She didn't say that though, she said Ramen which are made from wheat. Fake "sensitivity" people give real Celiacs a bad name. Like the people who jump all over the waitress to make sure their meal is gluten-free then order three regular beers. SMDH

She already said she had a gluten allergy. Why would she then to say, I'll bring gluten free dry snack and gluten free ramen? She just said she's bringing dry snack and ramen. No need for you to get worked up.

I see from your update that you are planning to go soon. Great! Don't wear a burka unless your ILs directly suggest it. You'll look ridiculous and be a huge joke. Long tunics with shawl is sufficient.

Steel yourself for the staring. It's nothing personal - they stare at everyone. I'm Bangladeshi-Am and have been traveling there annually since birth. I still get the stares from random people. Don't let it get it to, they're not targeting you for harassment. It's purely curiosity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how you can be married to someone from a country you know so little about. A full burka?

In any case, yes, you will probably get stomach upset. Most travelers there do. But it sounds like you may have other issues like anxiety? Maybe hold off a year or two until the kid could get more out of it.

+1

+2

Anonymous wrote:Safe travels. This is not a trip I would make, but I suppose it is part of marriage to a man from there. Please let us know how it was when you get back.

I’m surprised by the number of people declaring that they’d not go. OP - You married a man from another country and he hasn’t expected you to go for over 8 years. He now has a child and he wants his Mother to see the child. It’s natural. I don’t think when you say he’s basically threatening to divorce you that the situation is as dire as people are reacting to it. I don’t even know that he means that or he isn’t being dramatic to ensure you understand it will be a big marital issue because I don’t know him or you. I don’t think he’s trying to steal your child. The way you are acting it’s more likely he’d be offer to take the child himself and leave you home if that were the case and also.....do people really think he’d come here and get settled just to steal his toddler and move back? It happens, sure, but it’s unlikely and let’s assume that’s not his goal. You have to go. I personally wouldn’t go, but I didn’t marry a Bengali. My MIL lives 2 miles away from my house. My Mother is from another country that was considered by Americans dangerous when I was growing up and I went there and my Mon would take me alone and people would make the same sorts of comments.

Wear whatever you think you need to, listen to his family for safety, and enjoy meeting the relatives of your child. The chances are that you will be fine and that you will get a stomach ache. Good luck. Have fun. Try your best to enjoy yourself.