I’ve taken the kids to visit family without DH. We haven’t don’t it the other way yet. He liked the time alone but got lonely after a few days.

On a different note, my parents for years have gone on trips where one child (they have 3) will have an interest and the others stay home. Now they sometimes travel together and sometimes alone (my dad goes on an annual golf trip). Some people find the time apart odd but it seems to work for them.

I would be ecstatic if my DH went with our kids and without me. The kids love the big family vacations, DH tolerates them for the sake of his mother and I find them to be such horrific torture. I still have not recovered from this summer’s vacation. My MIL is emotionally bankrupt and such a calculating manipulator yet her daughters lap it up. I literally have panic attacks thinking back on the most recent vacation.

MIL wanted us to vacation with her. I didn't want to go for various reasons, and it was our anniversary. Like I'd really want to spend our anniversary with my MIL. So he went alone and then he was mad I didn't go. I have no regrets that we stayed home.

Anonymous wrote:Nope, you and DH should be together as a unit.. all go, or no one goes. This sets a precedent and will become a slippery slope later in your marriage. Also it will make DH seem selfish by leaving you at home with young children.

Are you serious? How old are you? Are you super conservative? Seems healthy to me.

not a big deal

I’ve sent him with one kid (other was still nursing). It is my greatest dream that he take both and relieve me of ever visiting the ILs again. They moved recently and I hate their new location. It’s isolated. Even if we have a car, it’s 25 minutes to a grocery store and an hour or more to anywhere you’d actually want to go. No sidewalks so you can’t even go for an after dinner walk. No playgrounds for the kids, they have no toys for kids our ages, and it’s across the country so it’s not like we can take a bunch of stuff with us, miserable. He can take them. It’s not my fault his parents moved to an undesirable locale. Our kids can’t even stand it, the oldest says no every time we suggest going back out to visit because she was so bored the last time.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes, I work. I'd miss the kids if DH took them, but would feel like a jerk keeping them from cousins and grandparents if I insisted they stay here (at least the oldest one). I do worry about safety with a large group and DH (who is a good guy) thinking someone else is keeping an eye on things. Nice to hear other people's experiences. Maybe we'll try having DH go by himself this year, then taking the oldest when they're 7 or 8.

He is their Father about time he stepped up. You need to trust him and even if you have reservations if you divorced or passed he’d be responsible for them without you. Best to learn when other family is around. Stop the mentality that your ways of parenting are best...he is going to resent the crap out of you if you try to control all things kid related and judge his parenting skills

Yes, in a heartbeat. Often my husband and kids go for the week, and I will go for a weekend at the end. Because I "don't have enough leave".