Anonymous wrote:I would just get a divorce vs. live w/a perpetual man-child.

Life really is not as long as you would like to think it is.

If you can snag eighty years of life on this planet -
You are one of the lucky few.

You have an a%#hole.
Why have another one??!

Anonymous wrote:OP you knowingly married a Beta, hoping he would start acting like an Alpha. Not gonna happen. You knew what you were getting when you decided to buy the little helpless useless goat. I'm sure at some point you enjoyed being able to boss him around and probably thought it was cute, till you had kids and reality kicked in.

Now go fix him a glass of milk to go with his cookies and crustless sandwich.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you do nothing proactive for the house and family, need constant reminders to do basic stuff for the kids or yard, leave messes all around, are clueless about the kids' schedule/school/friends/sports, have never taught your kids a thing except an imagination game here and there, and you often need others to fix what you do manage to start.

Created a whole Mommy/Son dynamic in your marriage. You both work FT, same income each.

And then you turn around and want to have sex at night with your Mommy Wife? Is any of this supposed to be attractive to her? What is she supposed to do with you? Just let you tag along year after year after year?

I could have written this. Staying because co-parenting would be even worse.

a very dumb reason to stay, especially to stay if you're not truly working on anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you do nothing proactive for the house and family, need constant reminders to do basic stuff for the kids or yard, leave messes all around, are clueless about the kids' schedule/school/friends/sports, have never taught your kids a thing except an imagination game here and there, and you often need others to fix what you do manage to start.

Created a whole Mommy/Son dynamic in your marriage. You both work FT, same income each.

And then you turn around and want to have sex at night with your Mommy Wife? Is any of this supposed to be attractive to her? What is she supposed to do with you? Just let you tag along year after year after year?

I could have written this. Staying because co-parenting would be even worse.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Marriages work better with a division of responsibilities, when one partner stays home to manage the kids and the family life, and the other is the breadwinner.

Everyone would be happier in the end.

I hear husbands of SAHMs complain about the arrangement. I imagine it's hard for them to digest that they could have double the income if she worked. Sometimes I hear comments that are outright resentful. I have a lot of SAHM friends and it makes me cringe when I hear male colleagues talk like this, so I say things like "I wish I had a SAHP!" etc. But you should know that there are pressures on traditional relationships as well.

Granted, I work in BigLaw where money isn't an issue (except for those that spend wildly), but I have never once heard any of my colleagues complain about having a SAHM. Unless your DW was making well into the six figure pre-baby, the dual income is irrelevant. My friends and I absolutely appreciate how valuable it is for the family and our careers to have someone handling domestic stuff.

However, if it makes OP feel better, even men married to SAHMs weren't getting laid that often either when the kids are young (at least not by their wives). So yes, her DH needs to step up and yes that will help ease resentment but unlikely it will have any effect on her libido. Perhaps she will be willing to have sex, but willing and wanting are two different things.

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Anonymous wrote:Sex is enjoyable for both people. I don't know women who don't enjoy it.

For a woman who is perpetually exhausted, given the choice between sexing the man-child and getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep, sleep will win every time.

I hear what you're saying, but here is where biology creates a disconnect. Guys like sex enough that most of them, even if exhausted and even if the woman isn't treating them very well, would still skip a half-hour of sleep to have sex.

That isn’t true. Men don’t want sex when they are exhausted either. I mean, no one was having sex in the concentration camps. What is more true is that men will not work themselves to exhaustion to take care of the children and family home, and women will.
Also, women tend to view the home as their work, hence the term “second shift.”
So, think of this more like the equivalent of working your butt off for weeks on something at work, staying there night and day, and you decide to take a break and sleep at your desk for a couple of hours. At that point, your wife comes to your work, unshowered and dressed in her finest sweatpants, and wants to have sex on your chair where you were supposed to be sleeping with your uncompleted work staring at you from the computer screen. Would you still be excited about it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriages work better with a division of responsibilities, when one partner stays home to manage the kids and the family life, and the other is the breadwinner.

Everyone would be happier in the end.

Gee thanks Dr. Laura

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriages work better with a division of responsibilities, when one partner stays home to manage the kids and the family life, and the other is the breadwinner.

Everyone would be happier in the end.

Um, not true, at all. I couldn't wait for maternity leave(s) to end. Marriages work better with a division of responsibilities between both family and work life.