Anonymous
08/25/2018 20:50
Subject: Re:Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Do people go on two week honeymoons? Grownup people with jobs and kids? My work would be rolling their collective eyes if I pitched this.
In any case, as a divorced parent I would say yes, but would probably ask my coparent for logistical/financial support if I needed extra babysitting (I have my work schedule arranged so I work longer days on my non-kid days and shorter days when I do drop off and pickup).
And I think you're fine, OP. You are saying this stuff here so you don't say it to your ex, new wife, or your kids. It's totally normal to have feelings and opinions. It sounds like you treat your ex fairly and aren't talking about this stuff with the kids so you are good.
I'm annoyed that I busted my a** working while I was married, took on extra work to build our savings while I was pregnant, and now my ex is supporting a live in GF who hasn't worked in two years. But, whatever, I"m happy in my life now, I'm a good coparent, and that's all that matters.
Sorry but I kinda think this is OP again here ^
Regardless...OP still needs to just take a deep breath and give them the two weeks. It's the right thing for YOU to do...even if you have strong feelings about two weeks not being the right thing for THEM to do.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 20:48
Subject: Re:Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Do people go on two week honeymoons? Grownup people with jobs and kids? My work would be rolling their collective eyes if I pitched this.
In any case, as a divorced parent I would say yes, but would probably ask my coparent for logistical/financial support if I needed extra babysitting (I have my work schedule arranged so I work longer days on my non-kid days and shorter days when I do drop off and pickup).
And I think you're fine, OP. You are saying this stuff here so you don't say it to your ex, new wife, or your kids. It's totally normal to have feelings and opinions. It sounds like you treat your ex fairly and aren't talking about this stuff with the kids so you are good.
I'm annoyed that I busted my a** working while I was married, took on extra work to build our savings while I was pregnant, and now my ex is supporting a live in GF who hasn't worked in two years. But, whatever, I"m happy in my life now, I'm a good coparent, and that's all that matters.
Yes, all the time. I have two different colleagues who recently married. One took 3 weeks, another 2.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 20:47
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m going to agree to it but 2 weeks is excessive in my opinion. I think there’s better uses for money but her dream trip is very important.
Good thing that’s not your concern anymore.
Wow.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 20:46
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m going to agree to it but 2 weeks is excessive in my opinion. I think there’s better uses for money but her dream trip is very important.
So from the sounds of it, you don't like her as much as you originally lead on. It's fine to feel some type of way about the newly weds, but still important to know and do what's right.
I don't think OP has to like the new wife but she needs to overcome resentment/envy/judgment. Only women will be this nasty.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 20:09
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m going to agree to it but 2 weeks is excessive in my opinion. I think there’s better uses for money but her dream trip is very important.
So from the sounds of it, you don't like her as much as you originally lead on. It's fine to feel some type of way about the newly weds, but still important to know and do what's right.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 20:09
Subject: Re:Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Do people go on two week honeymoons? Grownup people with jobs and kids? My work would be rolling their collective eyes if I pitched this.
In any case, as a divorced parent I would say yes, but would probably ask my coparent for logistical/financial support if I needed extra babysitting (I have my work schedule arranged so I work longer days on my non-kid days and shorter days when I do drop off and pickup).
And I think you're fine, OP. You are saying this stuff here so you don't say it to your ex, new wife, or your kids. It's totally normal to have feelings and opinions. It sounds like you treat your ex fairly and aren't talking about this stuff with the kids so you are good.
I'm annoyed that I busted my a** working while I was married, took on extra work to build our savings while I was pregnant, and now my ex is supporting a live in GF who hasn't worked in two years. But, whatever, I"m happy in my life now, I'm a good coparent, and that's all that matters.
In any case, as a divorced parent I would say yes, but would probably ask my coparent for logistical/financial support if I needed extra babysitting (I have my work schedule arranged so I work longer days on my non-kid days and shorter days when I do drop off and pickup).
And I think you're fine, OP. You are saying this stuff here so you don't say it to your ex, new wife, or your kids. It's totally normal to have feelings and opinions. It sounds like you treat your ex fairly and aren't talking about this stuff with the kids so you are good.
I'm annoyed that I busted my a** working while I was married, took on extra work to build our savings while I was pregnant, and now my ex is supporting a live in GF who hasn't worked in two years. But, whatever, I"m happy in my life now, I'm a good coparent, and that's all that matters.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 19:59
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m going to agree to it but 2 weeks is excessive in my opinion. I think there’s better uses for money but her dream trip is very important.
OP. She is not your new wife.
And if you've already made the mistake of saying any of this to your kids, go back to them and tell them you were wrong to judge.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 19:58
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m going to agree to it but 2 weeks is excessive in my opinion. I think there’s better uses for money but her dream trip is very important.
OP, you sound very bitter. Stay out of your ex’s marriage.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 19:54
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m going to agree to it but 2 weeks is excessive in my opinion. I think there’s better uses for money but her dream trip is very important.
Aaaand....how he/they spend their money is none of yo bizzzzzness.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 19:53
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m going to agree to it but 2 weeks is excessive in my opinion. I think there’s better uses for money but her dream trip is very important.
WOW!...OP, really...let it go. Let. It. Go.
She getting the dream trip that he did not love you enough to give you when you were married. Or...you were never so "demanding"/"entitled"/"spoiled" when you were his wife, so it's not fair that he is putting up with these lavish/excessive expectations like this from her!!! --> This is how your heart is framing this for your brain to deal with. And it's not cool.
Try telling your brain to tell your heart this instead: Oh my gosh how WONDERFUL that my children's father has matured into such a loving husband that he wants nothing more than to fulfill his new bride's fantasy of an extravagant and romantic getaway! What a great example for my children to see of a loving, giving husband.
I know it's not fair that it's not you, OP. But please...don't take it out on the new bride for wanting (and getting) what she wants.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 19:49
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m going to agree to it but 2 weeks is excessive in my opinion. I think there’s better uses for money but her dream trip is very important.
There it is.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 19:47
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Yes. If you don’t do it, you will pay for it in many ways for years to come with her being irritated.
Actually, and more importantly OP, your KIDS may end up paying for it.
I know it's hard and awkward that he's getting re-married. And yes, she married a man with kids. But even married people with kids go on kid-free trips sometimes! If you had stayed married, you probably wouldn't take the kids with you on your 10th/20th anniversary trip (which I guess you could call a 2-week sex trip too...if things had worked out!)
Be a sport. Especially if it's amicable. Because if you don't, it will be hard to keep that "amicable" arrangement moving forward...
Anonymous
08/25/2018 19:46
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Op here. I’m going to agree to it but 2 weeks is excessive in my opinion. I think there’s better uses for money but her dream trip is very important.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 19:39
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes switch, but a 2-week honeymoon for a 2nd marriage with kids is excessive IMO.
+1. He's an ass for asking to be away from his kids for so long and her cluelessness about the message it sends to the kids doesn't bode well for the future, but you aren't going to change their minds or if you did they would just resent you for it, so just accept it.
It would have been nicer and more inclusive if they had done one week honeymoon and one week family vacation.
What the hell? They have the rest of their lives to take a vacation with kids, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them taking a two week honeymoon just for themselves.
Anonymous
08/25/2018 19:06
Subject: Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon
Of course you should, there is nothing else to it.