Anonymous
08/18/2018 13:19
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Somewhat introverted person here. I have a theory as to what was going on here.
You said you guys were gossiping. Well, when I'm around a group of people (read: women) who speak negatively about people who aren't present at the table -- especially if they're sharing intensely personal information about other people's health, personal lives, etc. that I rightly should not know -- I clam up on purpose. I don't trust these kind of people.
So I "observe the conversation" then I go home knowing I didn't sell myself out by trying to be "vulnerable".
You said you guys were gossiping. Well, when I'm around a group of people (read: women) who speak negatively about people who aren't present at the table -- especially if they're sharing intensely personal information about other people's health, personal lives, etc. that I rightly should not know -- I clam up on purpose. I don't trust these kind of people.
So I "observe the conversation" then I go home knowing I didn't sell myself out by trying to be "vulnerable".
Anonymous
08/18/2018 13:06
Subject: Re:S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert and I'll talk your ear off if I like you and find you interesting.
Yep!! I’m an introvert but I love to talk to people too
Anonymous
08/18/2018 13:01
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Are you directly inviting her into the conversation? Or are you just talking, talking, talking?
I'm on the introvert/extrovert border. I can carry a conversation when others seem more shy/reserved/uncomfortable. I can speak to a room full of people, easily, without nerves.
But sometimes, it's hard to get a word in, and after a few attempts, I sit back and let the big personalities go to it. They interrupt me, and each other. On nights like that, I set the example by not interrupting others or dominating the conversation. Some big talkers ask a question and answer it themselves! It is SO annoying and rude.
If you make an effort, and they still clam up, that's one thing. But if you don't give others a chance to speak, you're the boor-ing one, even if they are boring.
Are you dining with the cast of The View or something? There are no “big personalities” where guests have to be invited into the conversation. It’s dinner with friends. There are breaks in the conversation. Share an anecdote.
Except when there aren't breaks in the conversation. Except when people just literally do not let others talk, or share anecdotes. I have an anecdote ready, start to tell it, get interrupted, and 5 minutes later, my contribution isn't relevant anymore.
Really. Take. A. Breath.
-np
NP
yup!!!
I recently hosted a birthday party for my daughter and couldn't get a word in at my own home. three women - two of whom I never met before - were going on and on and on about the most boring stuff ever. as an example, one mom spent a year in Europe several years ago and talked about it all the time, like it was yesterday. meanwhile I am actually from Europe and go there all the time and my kids are bilingual. some people just won't let others talk. and I am not going to fight with them.
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:52
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
I am an introvert and clam up when I cannot get a word in edgewise or when someone starts talking over me or changes the conversation while I am trying to speak.
I recently stopped hanging out with some people because the conversations border on small talk. I am not good at small talk and prefer real and meaningful dialogue with people. I'm not saying small talk is bad, but I'm no good at it.
If like you and you are interesting, we can talk for hours.
I recently stopped hanging out with some people because the conversations border on small talk. I am not good at small talk and prefer real and meaningful dialogue with people. I'm not saying small talk is bad, but I'm no good at it.
If like you and you are interesting, we can talk for hours.
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:50
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
OP< often times people who describe themselves as "introverts" are happy for the conversation to go one way. If only for gossip purposes. You could have fun with that!
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:32
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am an introvert only because I hate filler conversation. It’s either interesting or important or relevant or it’s blather.
I don’t want to be trapped in an amateur episode of “The View” if I can help it.
So much blather. Especially from people who think they're "entertaining." They'll grab the floor and filibuster because they're oh so interesting.
+1
I hate participating in the inevitable “I love me/I am so witty/me me me/my opinions rawk!!!” op is invariably having with her helpless victims.
Wow you guys certainly have a lot of excuses for being lazy conversationalists.
So what's your excuse for Never.
Shutting.
Up?
You have serious antisocial tendencies. Seek help.
Snarky comments on the Internet are a pathology? Wow! Who knew?
If your only response is "shut up", that is not snarky, that is juvenile.
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:29
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am an introvert only because I hate filler conversation. It’s either interesting or important or relevant or it’s blather.
I don’t want to be trapped in an amateur episode of “The View” if I can help it.
So much blather. Especially from people who think they're "entertaining." They'll grab the floor and filibuster because they're oh so interesting.
+1
I hate participating in the inevitable “I love me/I am so witty/me me me/my opinions rawk!!!” op is invariably having with her helpless victims.
Wow you guys certainly have a lot of excuses for being lazy conversationalists.
So what's your excuse for Never.
Shutting.
Up?
You have serious antisocial tendencies. Seek help.
Snarky comments on the Internet are a pathology? Wow! Who knew?
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:27
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am an introvert only because I hate filler conversation. It’s either interesting or important or relevant or it’s blather.
I don’t want to be trapped in an amateur episode of “The View” if I can help it.
So much blather. Especially from people who think they're "entertaining." They'll grab the floor and filibuster because they're oh so interesting.
+1
I hate participating in the inevitable “I love me/I am so witty/me me me/my opinions rawk!!!” op is invariably having with her helpless victims.
Wow you guys certainly have a lot of excuses for being lazy conversationalists.
So what's your excuse for Never.
Shutting.
Up?
You have serious antisocial tendencies. Seek help.
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:22
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am an introvert only because I hate filler conversation. It’s either interesting or important or relevant or it’s blather.
I don’t want to be trapped in an amateur episode of “The View” if I can help it.
So much blather. Especially from people who think they're "entertaining." They'll grab the floor and filibuster because they're oh so interesting.
+1
I hate participating in the inevitable “I love me/I am so witty/me me me/my opinions rawk!!!” op is invariably having with her helpless victims.
Wow you guys certainly have a lot of excuses for being lazy conversationalists.
So what's your excuse for Never.
Shutting.
Up?
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:21
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I use “introverts” in quotes because I don’t want to lump an entire group into one negative lump, but why do people feel it’s ok to go out for dinner and just...observe the conversation. I went out last night with 3 friends, incl one “introvert” or whatever, and I felt like the three of us were just there to entertain her. When you socialize with people, you have to try a little. We are not there to provide interesting conversation and gossip for you to just take in. Make yourself a little vulnerable and share something about your life, or put forward and observation of your own please.
Introvert here. I don't blame you, but it's not like we feel it's OK to just "observe the conversation." We literally struggle with finding words and participating in conversation. Believe me, if I was capable of holding an active, engaging conversation, I would.
At least you are honest.
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:20
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am an introvert only because I hate filler conversation. It’s either interesting or important or relevant or it’s blather.
I don’t want to be trapped in an amateur episode of “The View” if I can help it.
So much blather. Especially from people who think they're "entertaining." They'll grab the floor and filibuster because they're oh so interesting.
+1
I hate participating in the inevitable “I love me/I am so witty/me me me/my opinions rawk!!!” op is invariably having with her helpless victims.
Wow you guys certainly have a lot of excuses for being lazy conversationalists.
I’d rather be lazy than dominate a conversation entitled: “Me! The Musical! Attention everyone in earshot! la-la-la-la-lalala!”
You know, there is a large middle ground where normal conversation at dinner does exist. Try to get there.
+1
Not everyone who is friendly or happy or talkative is looking for attention, PP. You seem to have a rather angry, sad and warped perception of people. Someone did you wrong, REAL wrong. The good news is, most people probably avoid you like the plague.
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:18
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:I use “introverts” in quotes because I don’t want to lump an entire group into one negative lump, but why do people feel it’s ok to go out for dinner and just...observe the conversation. I went out last night with 3 friends, incl one “introvert” or whatever, and I felt like the three of us were just there to entertain her. When you socialize with people, you have to try a little. We are not there to provide interesting conversation and gossip for you to just take in. Make yourself a little vulnerable and share something about your life, or put forward and observation of your own please.
Introvert here. I don't blame you, but it's not like we feel it's OK to just "observe the conversation." We literally struggle with finding words and participating in conversation. Believe me, if I was capable of holding an active, engaging conversation, I would.
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:16
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am an introvert only because I hate filler conversation. It’s either interesting or important or relevant or it’s blather.
I don’t want to be trapped in an amateur episode of “The View” if I can help it.
So much blather. Especially from people who think they're "entertaining." They'll grab the floor and filibuster because they're oh so interesting.
+1
I hate participating in the inevitable “I love me/I am so witty/me me me/my opinions rawk!!!” op is invariably having with her helpless victims.
Wow you guys certainly have a lot of excuses for being lazy conversationalists.
I’d rather be lazy than dominate a conversation entitled: “Me! The Musical! Attention everyone in earshot! la-la-la-la-lalala!”
You know, there is a large middle ground where normal conversation at dinner does exist. Try to get there.
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:11
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:The introvert went home thinking - I dislike dining with “extoverts” and people who have a great deal to say about nothing.
Then stay home?
Anonymous
08/18/2018 12:11
Subject: S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am an introvert only because I hate filler conversation. It’s either interesting or important or relevant or it’s blather.
I don’t want to be trapped in an amateur episode of “The View” if I can help it.
So much blather. Especially from people who think they're "entertaining." They'll grab the floor and filibuster because they're oh so interesting.
+1
I hate participating in the inevitable “I love me/I am so witty/me me me/my opinions rawk!!!” op is invariably having with her helpless victims.
Wow you guys certainly have a lot of excuses for being lazy conversationalists.
I’d rather be lazy than dominate a conversation entitled: “Me! The Musical! Attention everyone in earshot! la-la-la-la-lalala!”