Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you want to spend the rest of your life under a cloud of suspicion and ona short leash, end it. You both deserve better

+1. No need to put up with this. You don’t have kids. Tell your wife you are completely in the wrong for having the affair 4 yrs ago and get a divorce.

Yes. This. Said the woman who was once in the same position as you.

Anonymous wrote:Unless you want to spend the rest of your life under a cloud of suspicion and ona short leash, end it. You both deserve better

+1. No need to put up with this. You don’t have kids. Tell your wife you are completely in the wrong for having the affair 4 yrs ago and get a divorce.

Unless you want to spend the rest of your life under a cloud of suspicion and ona short leash, end it. You both deserve better

You sound... annoyed OP. Like she somehow betrayed *your* trust by getting details of your affair. I suppose that’s one way to look at it, not at all a logical, empathetic, or fruitful one though.
She found out what she needed to know, and she had every right to. You can’t make the call on whether or not she decides to move forward with a divorce, you just have to try to be a person she would want to be married to at this point. And the attitude distillates in your OP is not helping.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

If you aren't faking it for the kids why wait for them to go to college?

Because I have a nice lifestyle and don’t want to ruin it. Once kids leave, I can buy a place in another state where I want to be. Kids will go private (not in state) so I will be more free.

So you, your spouses, and your kids happiness are the cost to sustain your lifestyle.

You’ve said you don’t “fake it” from the kids, so my only guess is you don’t hide how unhappy you are.

If it’s worth it to you to brood over an EA, at the cost of impacting everyone around you. Yes he made a bad decisions you are not exactly contributing anything positive to the situation either.

But hey - if a nice handbag and a Lexus are the price for you and your family’s happiness, seems like you and your DH have equal, selfish valued and are made for each other.

FYI - maybe you should make your own thread while you’re at it.

Lexus? No. Try BMW, Porsche, and Cadillac.

Really? Your happiness is only worth a few nice cars?!?
That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard.

Are you asking for advice here? Input? Sympathy??!

You hurt your wife. A LOT.
She likely will not be able to forgive your indiscretion(s).
Ever.

Right now she is in extreme pain + shock.
She is angry, heartbroken & just plain overall not in her right mind.

Not that anyone would blame her.
What she is now doing is something most people who are lied to do.
They feel betrayed, deceived and are not ready to take it lying down. (No pun....!!)

Either take it as a man, admit you deserve all of this and do everything in your power to salvage your marriage if that indeed is what you want to do.
Or get the divorce - and consider this a life lesson learned.

And pray to the heavens that your wife is not already pregnant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

If you aren't faking it for the kids why wait for them to go to college?

Because I have a nice lifestyle and don’t want to ruin it. Once kids leave, I can buy a place in another state where I want to be. Kids will go private (not in state) so I will be more free.

So you, your spouses, and your kids happiness are the cost to sustain your lifestyle.

You’ve said you don’t “fake it” from the kids, so my only guess is you don’t hide how unhappy you are.

If it’s worth it to you to brood over an EA, at the cost of impacting everyone around you. Yes he made a bad decisions you are not exactly contributing anything positive to the situation either.

But hey - if a nice handbag and a Lexus are the price for you and your family’s happiness, seems like you and your DH have equal, selfish valued and are made for each other.

FYI - maybe you should make your own thread while you’re at it.

Lexus? No. Try BMW, Porsche, and Cadillac.

Haha, I think I know you! This explains so much. Wow.

You “haha” means you don’t. My kids are in n $$ private schools. People who I know would never “haha”

I would do the 180, and start doing things with the three of you, ignoring your wife but making it clear that you know what is going on. see a divorce lawyer and then figure out how to play it, but I would give an ultimatum: cut it off with him and counseling for you together (and her individually) or separation. Also, I would ask to see the texts

Whoops sorry, responded to the wrong thread (there's another thread where the wife is texting *her* AP!).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

If you aren't faking it for the kids why wait for them to go to college?

Because I have a nice lifestyle and don’t want to ruin it. Once kids leave, I can buy a place in another state where I want to be. Kids will go private (not in state) so I will be more free.

So you, your spouses, and your kids happiness are the cost to sustain your lifestyle.

You’ve said you don’t “fake it” from the kids, so my only guess is you don’t hide how unhappy you are.

If it’s worth it to you to brood over an EA, at the cost of impacting everyone around you. Yes he made a bad decisions you are not exactly contributing anything positive to the situation either.

But hey - if a nice handbag and a Lexus are the price for you and your family’s happiness, seems like you and your DH have equal, selfish valued and are made for each other.

FYI - maybe you should make your own thread while you’re at it.

Lexus? No. Try BMW, Porsche, and Cadillac.

Haha, I think I know you! This explains so much. Wow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

If you aren't faking it for the kids why wait for them to go to college?

Because I have a nice lifestyle and don’t want to ruin it. Once kids leave, I can buy a place in another state where I want to be. Kids will go private (not in state) so I will be more free.

So you, your spouses, and your kids happiness are the cost to sustain your lifestyle.

You’ve said you don’t “fake it” from the kids, so my only guess is you don’t hide how unhappy you are.

If it’s worth it to you to brood over an EA, at the cost of impacting everyone around you. Yes he made a bad decisions you are not exactly contributing anything positive to the situation either.

But hey - if a nice handbag and a Lexus are the price for you and your family’s happiness, seems like you and your DH have equal, selfish valued and are made for each other.

FYI - maybe you should make your own thread while you’re at it.

Lexus? No. Try BMW, Porsche, and Cadillac.

Eh. Same difference. It's material, a thing, doesn't produce any form of life, is overvalued, and doesn't go with you to your grave. But your unhappiness can send you there quicker.

You may be over it, but she is just now discovering it and the fact that you lied to her for YEARS. You did this to yourself. You can either take responsibility and help her recover, or you can pout and be her for discovering your lies. You do you, man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

If you aren't faking it for the kids why wait for them to go to college?

Because I have a nice lifestyle and don’t want to ruin it. Once kids leave, I can buy a place in another state where I want to be. Kids will go private (not in state) so I will be more free.

Don’t count on getting half, his new hotter, thinner, wife will make sure that doesn’t happen.

Anonymous wrote:OP, these b*tches will only gloat. Text AP, ideally from your own burner, that communications are compromised.

Lol at you referring to PPs as "bitches", then suggesting dishonest behavior to an already dishonest guy.

Insight is not your strong suit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

If you aren't faking it for the kids why wait for them to go to college?

Because I have a nice lifestyle and don’t want to ruin it. Once kids leave, I can buy a place in another state where I want to be. Kids will go private (not in state) so I will be more free.

How nice is the lifestyle if you're counting down the days until you can be free and can't stand to be around your husband? Seems like the lifestyle is already ruined.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years, 2 new cars, multiple vacations later and I still can’t stand my DH for an EA. I just completely despise him, openly. Once kids hit college, I will demand that we sell our house, take 1/2 of everything and begin living. I love the kids, though. He’s sad, remorseful, whatever else and I don’t care. I did the 180 and feel empty when I look at him. I just count the days til I live free.

Doesn't sound like you're doing anyone, especially your kids, any favors by living that way.

I think the kids were not a thought when he had the EA. Like I said, I feel zero towards him. Just can’t stand to be near him. I don’t fake it for the kids. Sorry, but I won’t. My wedding bands have been off for two years. I will be happy. Without him. Not doing anything bad to the kids. Please. If anything, he did wrong and I just don’t play fake it.

If you aren't faking it for the kids why wait for them to go to college?

Because I have a nice lifestyle and don’t want to ruin it. Once kids leave, I can buy a place in another state where I want to be. Kids will go private (not in state) so I will be more free.

So you, your spouses, and your kids happiness are the cost to sustain your lifestyle.

You’ve said you don’t “fake it” from the kids, so my only guess is you don’t hide how unhappy you are.

If it’s worth it to you to brood over an EA, at the cost of impacting everyone around you. Yes he made a bad decisions you are not exactly contributing anything positive to the situation either.

But hey - if a nice handbag and a Lexus are the price for you and your family’s happiness, seems like you and your DH have equal, selfish valued and are made for each other.

FYI - maybe you should make your own thread while you’re at it.

Lexus? No. Try BMW, Porsche, and Cadillac.