Seriously - you're Indian, so your family should have told you over and over that you don't marry a person, you marry that person and his family. This was drilled into me from a fairly young age. When you met the crazy mom, you should have run, run, run.

Your best bet now is to cut off DH's family completely. It sounds like he doesn't like them anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:interfaith marriages seldom work out...even marriages between differing Christian sects have a rough go of it sometimes. You knew how awful she was before you married your husband. Honestly, if I were you, I'd get out and find a muslim or atheist man who doesn't mind his kids being raised muslim. Life is hard enough w/o bringing major religious differences into the mix.

+1. You can’t force your DH to cut himself and your hypothetical kids off from his Christian family, be they sane or insane. If you don’t want to deal with them for the next several decades—and MIL at least sounds bad—then divorce him.

This is your takeaway from a post about a bigoted, drunk, narcissist who abuses her DIL?

Oh, MIL is bigoted and gross. But reading between the lines, what OP didn’t tell us is that she and MIL are tussling over the faith of future kids and possibly her DH. These are pretty hefty issues, and OP is minimizing them and blaming the drunkenness. OP has every right to raise her kids as she sees fit. But if this is the elephant in the room with MIL, best to acknowledge it, get it out there, and base the decision on it. Not solely on MIL’s crassness.

You must be reading far between the lines because other than proving religious context, OP hasn’t said anything about MIL and her disagreeing about religion for future children. I think you are projecting.

It’s all about abusing and debasement of OP as a person.

Maybe. But we have one side of the story. That ends with OP wanting her DH to cut off his family about some stuff about mooching, which is pretty drastic. And he doesn’t want to. Why?

Because dysfunction is easy when it's familiar and he has been caught up in that crazy for a long time. OP should leave and husband can do whatever with his drunk bigoted mom.

MIL is awful. But there’s also a high probability that religion is the big issue behind a lot of what’s going on, and OP isn’t acknowledging that to us. There are drips and drabs in OP’s posts—we hear that MIL points out the difference, but OP doesn’t tell us that under her religious law the hypothetical kids have to be raised in her religion.

Without taking sides, or even thinking it’s reasonable for us to have an opinion about what religion OP raises her kids in, you can still want to hear the full story.

Sounds like OP needs to divorce, IMO.

DP. You sound unhinged. No one but you thinks religion is the root cause or even likely cause of any of this. It’s more likely that if OP was Christian and Indian she would still be posting. You have personal issues. Interfaith marriages happen all the time.

I’m unhinged because I think there just might be a little more to the story than some anonymous stranger is presenting online? Because I don’t take all OPs at face value? Who’s unhinged?

Anonymous wrote:It is kind of funny to read you don't think you are a moocher because you buy your own clothes and make-up. However, so what. You and your DH come up with whatever financial arrangements you want and who cares what anyone else thinks. Don't go over there anymore. She already hates you, so don't worry yourself about whether her reason for hating you is 'legitimate' or not. Free yourself from this woman.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:interfaith marriages seldom work out...even marriages between differing Christian sects have a rough go of it sometimes. You knew how awful she was before you married your husband. Honestly, if I were you, I'd get out and find a muslim or atheist man who doesn't mind his kids being raised muslim. Life is hard enough w/o bringing major religious differences into the mix.

+1. You can’t force your DH to cut himself and your hypothetical kids off from his Christian family, be they sane or insane. If you don’t want to deal with them for the next several decades—and MIL at least sounds bad—then divorce him.

This is your takeaway from a post about a bigoted, drunk, narcissist who abuses her DIL?

Oh, MIL is bigoted and gross. But reading between the lines, what OP didn’t tell us is that she and MIL are tussling over the faith of future kids and possibly her DH. These are pretty hefty issues, and OP is minimizing them and blaming the drunkenness. OP has every right to raise her kids as she sees fit. But if this is the elephant in the room with MIL, best to acknowledge it, get it out there, and base the decision on it. Not solely on MIL’s crassness.

You must be reading far between the lines because other than proving religious context, OP hasn’t said anything about MIL and her disagreeing about religion for future children. I think you are projecting.

It’s all about abusing and debasement of OP as a person.

Maybe. But we have one side of the story. That ends with OP wanting her DH to cut off his family about some stuff about mooching, which is pretty drastic. And he doesn’t want to. Why?

Because dysfunction is easy when it's familiar and he has been caught up in that crazy for a long time. OP should leave and husband can do whatever with his drunk bigoted mom.

MIL is awful. But there’s also a high probability that religion is the big issue behind a lot of what’s going on, and OP isn’t acknowledging that to us. There are drips and drabs in OP’s posts—we hear that MIL points out the difference, but OP doesn’t tell us that under her religious law the hypothetical kids have to be raised in her religion.

Without taking sides, or even thinking it’s reasonable for us to have an opinion about what religion OP raises her kids in, you can still want to hear the full story.

Sounds like OP needs to divorce, IMO.

DP. You sound unhinged. No one but you thinks religion is the root cause or even likely cause of any of this. It’s more likely that if OP was Christian and Indian she would still be posting. You have personal issues. Interfaith marriages happen all the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:interfaith marriages seldom work out...even marriages between differing Christian sects have a rough go of it sometimes. You knew how awful she was before you married your husband. Honestly, if I were you, I'd get out and find a muslim or atheist man who doesn't mind his kids being raised muslim. Life is hard enough w/o bringing major religious differences into the mix.

+1. You can’t force your DH to cut himself and your hypothetical kids off from his Christian family, be they sane or insane. If you don’t want to deal with them for the next several decades—and MIL at least sounds bad—then divorce him.

This is your takeaway from a post about a bigoted, drunk, narcissist who abuses her DIL?

Oh, MIL is bigoted and gross. But reading between the lines, what OP didn’t tell us is that she and MIL are tussling over the faith of future kids and possibly her DH. These are pretty hefty issues, and OP is minimizing them and blaming the drunkenness. OP has every right to raise her kids as she sees fit. But if this is the elephant in the room with MIL, best to acknowledge it, get it out there, and base the decision on it. Not solely on MIL’s crassness.

You must be reading far between the lines because other than proving religious context, OP hasn’t said anything about MIL and her disagreeing about religion for future children. I think you are projecting.

It’s all about abusing and debasement of OP as a person.

Maybe. But we have one side of the story. That ends with OP wanting her DH to cut off his family about some stuff about mooching, which is pretty drastic. And he doesn’t want to. Why?

Because dysfunction is easy when it's familiar and he has been caught up in that crazy for a long time. OP should leave and husband can do whatever with his drunk bigoted mom.

MIL is awful. But there’s also a high probability that religion is the big issue behind a lot of what’s going on, and OP isn’t acknowledging that to us. There are drips and drabs in OP’s posts—we hear that MIL points out the difference, but OP doesn’t tell us that under her religious law the hypothetical kids have to be raised in her religion.

Without taking sides, or even thinking it’s reasonable for us to have an opinion about what religion OP raises her kids in, you can still want to hear the full story.

Sounds like OP needs to divorce, IMO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:interfaith marriages seldom work out...even marriages between differing Christian sects have a rough go of it sometimes. You knew how awful she was before you married your husband. Honestly, if I were you, I'd get out and find a muslim or atheist man who doesn't mind his kids being raised muslim. Life is hard enough w/o bringing major religious differences into the mix.

+1. You can’t force your DH to cut himself and your hypothetical kids off from his Christian family, be they sane or insane. If you don’t want to deal with them for the next several decades—and MIL at least sounds bad—then divorce him.

This is your takeaway from a post about a bigoted, drunk, narcissist who abuses her DIL?

Oh, MIL is bigoted and gross. But reading between the lines, what OP didn’t tell us is that she and MIL are tussling over the faith of future kids and possibly her DH. These are pretty hefty issues, and OP is minimizing them and blaming the drunkenness. OP has every right to raise her kids as she sees fit. But if this is the elephant in the room with MIL, best to acknowledge it, get it out there, and base the decision on it. Not solely on MIL’s crassness.

You must be reading far between the lines because other than proving religious context, OP hasn’t said anything about MIL and her disagreeing about religion for future children. I think you are projecting.

It’s all about abusing and debasement of OP as a person.

Maybe. But we have one side of the story. That ends with OP wanting her DH to cut off his family about some stuff about mooching, which is pretty drastic. And he doesn’t want to. Why?

Because dysfunction is easy when it's familiar and he has been caught up in that crazy for a long time. OP should leave and husband can do whatever with his drunk bigoted mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:interfaith marriages seldom work out...even marriages between differing Christian sects have a rough go of it sometimes. You knew how awful she was before you married your husband. Honestly, if I were you, I'd get out and find a muslim or atheist man who doesn't mind his kids being raised muslim. Life is hard enough w/o bringing major religious differences into the mix.

+1. You can’t force your DH to cut himself and your hypothetical kids off from his Christian family, be they sane or insane. If you don’t want to deal with them for the next several decades—and MIL at least sounds bad—then divorce him.

This is your takeaway from a post about a bigoted, drunk, narcissist who abuses her DIL?

Oh, MIL is bigoted and gross. But reading between the lines, what OP didn’t tell us is that she and MIL are tussling over the faith of future kids and possibly her DH. These are pretty hefty issues, and OP is minimizing them and blaming the drunkenness. OP has every right to raise her kids as she sees fit. But if this is the elephant in the room with MIL, best to acknowledge it, get it out there, and base the decision on it. Not solely on MIL’s crassness.

You must be reading far between the lines because other than proving religious context, OP hasn’t said anything about MIL and her disagreeing about religion for future children. I think you are projecting.

It’s all about abusing and debasement of OP as a person.

Maybe. But we have one side of the story. That ends with OP wanting her DH to cut off his family about some stuff about mooching, which is pretty drastic. And he doesn’t want to. Why?

Is your DH a good guy? Are you both happy together? If yes; then honestly you and dh just move away. The US is huge. Have kids with him if he is a good guy, but live far away and only see ILs like 2 weeks a year. There are always some problems with in laws (although I feel sorry for you, his family sounds awful).

Start working on your husband to move away. Get at least 1000 miles between you and the family before you get pregnant.

Agreed with PPs — cut your losses and get a divorce now before you drag kids into this mess. Be glad you dodged a bullet because it would only get 100x worse with kids. BTDT.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:interfaith marriages seldom work out...even marriages between differing Christian sects have a rough go of it sometimes. You knew how awful she was before you married your husband. Honestly, if I were you, I'd get out and find a muslim or atheist man who doesn't mind his kids being raised muslim. Life is hard enough w/o bringing major religious differences into the mix.

+1. You can’t force your DH to cut himself and your hypothetical kids off from his Christian family, be they sane or insane. If you don’t want to deal with them for the next several decades—and MIL at least sounds bad—then divorce him.

This is your takeaway from a post about a bigoted, drunk, narcissist who abuses her DIL?

Oh, MIL is bigoted and gross. But reading between the lines, what OP didn’t tell us is that she and MIL are tussling over the faith of future kids and possibly her DH. These are pretty hefty issues, and OP is minimizing them and blaming the drunkenness. OP has every right to raise her kids as she sees fit. But if this is the elephant in the room with MIL, best to acknowledge it, get it out there, and base the decision on it. Not solely on MIL’s crassness.

No, this is excuse making. MIL is trash and so is husband and sister and OP should walk away and let these people choke on their bigotry and BS. Good riddance to bad rubbish

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:interfaith marriages seldom work out...even marriages between differing Christian sects have a rough go of it sometimes. You knew how awful she was before you married your husband. Honestly, if I were you, I'd get out and find a muslim or atheist man who doesn't mind his kids being raised muslim. Life is hard enough w/o bringing major religious differences into the mix.

+1. You can’t force your DH to cut himself and your hypothetical kids off from his Christian family, be they sane or insane. If you don’t want to deal with them for the next several decades—and MIL at least sounds bad—then divorce him.

This is your takeaway from a post about a bigoted, drunk, narcissist who abuses her DIL?

Oh, MIL is bigoted and gross. But reading between the lines, what OP didn’t tell us is that she and MIL are tussling over the faith of future kids and possibly her DH. These are pretty hefty issues, and OP is minimizing them and blaming the drunkenness. OP has every right to raise her kids as she sees fit. But if this is the elephant in the room with MIL, best to acknowledge it, get it out there, and base the decision on it. Not solely on MIL’s crassness.

You must be reading far between the lines because other than proving religious context, OP hasn’t said anything about MIL and her disagreeing about religion for future children. I think you are projecting.

It’s all about abusing and debasement of OP as a person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:interfaith marriages seldom work out...even marriages between differing Christian sects have a rough go of it sometimes. You knew how awful she was before you married your husband. Honestly, if I were you, I'd get out and find a muslim or atheist man who doesn't mind his kids being raised muslim. Life is hard enough w/o bringing major religious differences into the mix.

+1. You can’t force your DH to cut himself and your hypothetical kids off from his Christian family, be they sane or insane. If you don’t want to deal with them for the next several decades—and MIL at least sounds bad—then divorce him.

This is your takeaway from a post about a bigoted, drunk, narcissist who abuses her DIL?

Oh, MIL is bigoted and gross. But reading between the lines, what OP didn’t tell us is that she and MIL are tussling over the faith of future kids and possibly her DH. These are pretty hefty issues, and OP is minimizing them and blaming the drunkenness. OP has every right to raise her kids as she sees fit. But if this is the elephant in the room with MIL, best to acknowledge it, get it out there, and base the decision on it. Not solely on MIL’s crassness.

Nobody here is rooting for MIL.

But if this is really a fight with MIL about religion, then asking her DH to abandon his family over it is a bit too far. Almost as bad as MIL’s intolerance. Sounds like her DH isn’t ready to give up his family.

OP said he isn’t making her join him in his visits. She wouldn’t have to deal with them. Why, then, is she insisting he cut them off altogether?

Nobody here is rooting for MIL. But I’m not ready to

I was prepared to tell OP to limit her time with ILs until I read her follow up posts. OP, this may be the hardest thing you ever have to do, but I honestly think you should leave him. Or not have kids.

Your husband has already made it clear that while he's ok with you skipping out on visits, he will not limit his family's access to your kids. If your ILs are racist towards you, they will be to your kids as well. And while "just ignore her" might be acceptable advice for a grown woman.dealing with a PITA MIL, it is NOT an acceptable plan for children exposed to a nasty grandmother.

Good luck, OP. I kbow how hard it can be to walk away, so I fully expect you to ignore this, move on, have kids, and continue to fight with your husband and seethe internally, but if you can find the strength to walk away, I don't think you'll regret it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:interfaith marriages seldom work out...even marriages between differing Christian sects have a rough go of it sometimes. You knew how awful she was before you married your husband. Honestly, if I were you, I'd get out and find a muslim or atheist man who doesn't mind his kids being raised muslim. Life is hard enough w/o bringing major religious differences into the mix.

+1. You can’t force your DH to cut himself and your hypothetical kids off from his Christian family, be they sane or insane. If you don’t want to deal with them for the next several decades—and MIL at least sounds bad—then divorce him.

This is your takeaway from a post about a bigoted, drunk, narcissist who abuses her DIL?

Oh, MIL is bigoted and gross. But reading between the lines, what OP didn’t tell us is that she and MIL are tussling over the faith of future kids and possibly her DH. These are pretty hefty issues, and OP is minimizing them and blaming the drunkenness. OP has every right to raise her kids as she sees fit. But if this is the elephant in the room with MIL, best to acknowledge it, get it out there, and base the decision on it. Not solely on MIL’s crassness.