Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all pathetic Tiger moms. Magnet and IB are for kids who genuinely need harder courses so they are not bored. It is not meant to keep somewhat smart kids up half the night stressing away to keep up with genuinely gifted kids. The fact you are all okay with sleep deprivation for a 14yr old as a means to produce some great college resume is so sad and creepy. No wonder anxiety, depression, ADD, and suicide are they the roof.

I am surprised your DD isn’t popping Adderall like most magnet kids do. There is always one nerdy kid selling them for $3 a pill at all the schools. She will catch on soon enough.

Magnet kids are not committing suicide, magnet kids are not indulging in risky sexual behavior, magnet kids are not hooked on opioids, magnet kids are not selling drugs, magnet kids are not bringing guns to school. Why? Too busy studying or doing EC activities or sports or catching up on their sleep

So, statistically your low achieving child is more likely to suffer from feelings of low self-esteem and be self destructive. Why don't you look after your child and let the magnet parents worry about their magnet kids, hmmm?

Magnet kids are indeed hooked on pills. Magnet kids are sleep deprived, stressed, depressed, anxious, etc... if you think it is either that or bringing a gun to school - we all know the reason you pushed this nonsense.

You need some new materials. That one's getting old. It's like 70's one-hit-wonder pop star keep singing the same song for 40+ years. Except your post wasn't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I get up several hours earlier than she does. But even I didn't I dont see any reasons to stay up just to support her. She chose a magnet and to play a sport. She loves the magnet and the challenge. If she required need to ho!d her hand at 1 am we would have to rethink.

No one is saying that the kids requires or needs hand-holding. The magnet selection process itself weeds out everyone but the strongest students, so if nothing else the parents need to trust that if their child is in the magnet that they are capable of handling it.

HS is the time when parents begin giving the students more independence and responsibilities. This is an excellent lesson for the students to learn before they go to college.

" What if DS needed help? What if they needed a hot beverage? ' This sounds like hand holding..

This is the process of letting go that parents have to go through too. The kids are capable but the parents may want to hover. However, if they do hover then they realize that it is not sustainable. And so they eventually stop hovering and the kids are just fine. At hs level the students have their own friends and study groups... they are capable of helping themselves.

As a high schooler, I was like this. And like your DD, it was very much self-driven not from external pressures. My parents were very supportive. They didn’t stay up with me, but they checked in regularly, always let me know it’d be okay if I stepped off the gas, and found me a therapist when it turned out I needed one (both mental and physical health are important here). I’m glad they let me be the driver on this and if they forced me to take easier classes or do fewer EC’s, I would have resented it. Your kid is growing up. You can guide, you can give advice, you can help with study skills and healthy stress-coping habits, and you should be supportive, but as long as it’s not self-destructive, let her figure out what she can handle and what she can’t. Learning her own limits is important for when she goes to college. And if she is at the point where it is self-destructive, talk to her about it in a way that doesn’t make her feel like she’s failing somehow. I’m a mom now, and though my kid is nowhere near this stage yet, looking back, I really admire the way my parents handled this and if it ever comes up, I hope I can handle it as well as they did.

And if it’s wearing you out, go to sleep. A 15 year-old can stay awake past her parents.

I think it is a combination of different factors for us. In magnet MS my DS was always in bed no later than 9 pm. Magnet HS is a whole different story and the lack of sleep does impact his well being imo. The late nights are a combination of the increased work load as you enter HS, the difficulty of magnet classes (esp. math and CS), more demanding ECs and more distractions. Since he LOVES school and loves his ECs (and is a straight A student so I feel confident that he is not struggling or under undue pressure because of the difficulty of the classes) the only thing I feel able to impact is the distractions. The problem is, it is not so easy to tell a 15, 16 or 17 year old what to do. I am not going to sit next to him as he works on HW to make sure he only uses his computer for HW. The most I can do is encourage him to start his HW as early as possible instead of at 6.30 on weekdays or Sunday afternoon on weekends. Yes they are our children but they are also young adults and it is not possible to parent a high schooler the same way you parented an elementary school or middle school child.
OP in addition to what you are already doing I encourage you to have a discussion every year with your child about their work load. I have for example encouraged/insisted that DS take fewer APs, that there is always an easy/break class on the schedule every semester etc. If your child is picking difficult classes because they are interested and really want to study Optics/Mathematical Physics that is one thing but if they are loading up on APs because their friends are doing this, you have to step in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I get up several hours earlier than she does. But even I didn't I dont see any reasons to stay up just to support her. She chose a magnet and to play a sport. She loves the magnet and the challenge. If she required need to ho!d her hand at 1 am we would have to rethink.

No one is saying that the kids requires or needs hand-holding. The magnet selection process itself weeds out everyone but the strongest students, so if nothing else the parents need to trust that if their child is in the magnet that they are capable of handling it.

HS is the time when parents begin giving the students more independence and responsibilities. This is an excellent lesson for the students to learn before they go to college.

" What if DS needed help? What if they needed a hot beverage? ' This sounds like hand holding..

Anonymous wrote:
I get up several hours earlier than she does. But even I didn't I dont see any reasons to stay up just to support her. She chose a magnet and to play a sport. She loves the magnet and the challenge. If she required need to ho!d her hand at 1 am we would have to rethink.

No one is saying that the kids requires or needs hand-holding. The magnet selection process itself weeds out everyone but the strongest students, so if nothing else the parents need to trust that if their child is in the magnet that they are capable of handling it.

HS is the time when parents begin giving the students more independence and responsibilities. This is an excellent lesson for the students to learn before they go to college.

I think frestmen year of high school is an adjustment for most students and parents, let alone those in the program. Time and project management are important skills and so is the ability to prioritize tasks. Most magnet kids manage to do a substantial chunk of their homework during lunch, between the natural lulls during the school day, on the bus etc. Things do become easier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I see most kids survive sleep deprivation. And, from our family’s experience, when your kid is up late working, you just want to help so you end up sleep deprived too. But it really can cause serious mental health problems. Sleep deprivation was the trigger for a major psychotic break for my high schooler which led to almost an entire year of missed school and multiple hospitalizations.

Do the parents who stay up work? I have a magnet child and get up very early to commute. No way I am staying up to help or make tea! If they are in a magnet they should be quite competent to manage on their own in the wee hours.

Whoa, doesn’t your child get up early for school?

Why can you justify going to bed early because “you have to work” but are fine with your 14-18yr old getting 5hrs of sleep day in and out.

I get up several hours earlier than she does. But even I didn't I dont see any reasons to stay up just to support her. She chose a magnet and to play a sport. She loves the magnet and the challenge. If she required need to ho!d her hand at 1 am we would have to rethink.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all pathetic Tiger moms. Magnet and IB are for kids who genuinely need harder courses so they are not bored. It is not meant to keep somewhat smart kids up half the night stressing away to keep up with genuinely gifted kids. The fact you are all okay with sleep deprivation for a 14yr old as a means to produce some great college resume is so sad and creepy. No wonder anxiety, depression, ADD, and suicide are they the roof.

I am surprised your DD isn’t popping Adderall like most magnet kids do. There is always one nerdy kid selling them for $3 a pill at all the schools. She will catch on soon enough.

Magnet kids are not committing suicide, magnet kids are not indulging in risky sexual behavior, magnet kids are not hooked on opioids, magnet kids are not selling drugs, magnet kids are not bringing guns to school. Why? Too busy studying or doing EC activities or sports or catching up on their sleep

So, statistically your low achieving child is more likely to suffer from feelings of low self-esteem and be self destructive. Why don't you look after your child and let the magnet parents worry about their magnet kids, hmmm?

Magnet kids are indeed hooked on pills. Magnet kids are sleep deprived, stressed, depressed, anxious, etc... if you think it is either that or bringing a gun to school - we all know the reason you pushed this nonsense.