Anonymous wrote:Sorry but my 7 year old is not ready for this conversation and nor are her friends. People who tell their kids so early are the reason why there is such sexualization of children at the tween level

The literal opposite of this is true.

Sorry but my 7 year old is not ready for this conversation and nor are her friends. People who tell their kids so early are the reason why there is such sexualization of children at the tween level

NP. What 9 year old is in 5th grade? I think that it is clear from this thread that opinions re: the best time to have this discussion is very personal so I find it frustrating that they would have that line in a movie thereby forcing the conversation when kids might not be ready for it.

OP, they teach sex ed in 5th grade at school. That means 9/10/11 year olds already know about the birds and bees.

Oh wow! I am so appreciative for this heads up - thank you! My youngest is 7 and in no way would I be prepared to have this conversation with him after the movie when he’d be with siblings and friends. I find it totally obnoxious they would put a joke like that in there at the end.

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Anonymous wrote:That was the best part of the movie! lol I cracked up thinking of all the who were probably horrified about the conversation that was coming. BTW my FOUR year old knows where babies come from so if your 10 year old doesn’t then you should probably have that talk.

Does he know how to set up a checking account too? What on earth does a 4 year old need to know about sex for, and where babies come from? He himself only arrived 4 years ago.

My middle kid was advanced and outgoing and did everything early and at 4 years old sex and babies meant zero to him.

Many many kids are curious about where babies come from, especially if they are around pregnant women. I don’t see why the natural and biological act of sex needs to be kept from any kid, at any age.

And I’m not sure why telling is how advanced your kid was has to do with anything.

There’s hundreds of topics kids are curious about. I am sure when a family member is dying of cancer and looks ill you go into that, too, right? After all it’s “natural.”

Oh, for goodness sake! My 6 year old has known all about basic biology since forever AND knows all about my cancer (diagnosed when he was 4 and explained it to him at the time). He knows that when we make our annual trip, the first part is to see my oncologist and the second part is vacation. In fact, now that I think of it, we first explained cancer when the cat died. He was 3. He knows that when he has questions, about pretty much anything, we will answer them as honestly and completely as we can.

Oh, and he knows all about his bank account that his piggy bank money goes into when he goes to the bank with us to make a deposit. I know that some people might think that our approach is weird but, honestly, I think that raising children on a foundation of deception, even by omission, is pretty weird too.

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Anonymous wrote:If you haven’t had that conversation yet with your 9 year old, then they did you a favor.

OP did ME a favor. That ending line is really obnoxious. Why did someone think it was funny to put parents on the spot like that?

Before we hear any more from the value-signalling sex positive parents, I hope they will at least admit that there's a time and place for such discussions and it is NOT up to movie studios to decide that.

Sure, maybe I should lighten up. Or maybe the frogs should get out of that water before it starts boiling.

Value signaling sex positive parents? Is that actually a thing?

first i ever heard of it too. my parents are so right, we are def doing too much.

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Anonymous wrote:4 year olds do not have the ability to understand the complexity of creating new humans or the death of humans.

They don’t have the ability to understand checking accounts, the death penalty, abortion, getting a degree, driving a car, etc.

Your explanations are for you, not them. Why force adult problems and issues on a 4 year old? It’s not about their innocent brains, it’s about childhood. Should not their be a few years kids don’t need to deal with such things? If you have money problems, are you going to sit your kid down and explain that you may not have enough money to pay bills? Or your spouse is cheating in you and you have relationship problems?

No wonder mental illness and depression and drinking and drugs are rampant among kids. They are being pushed into adult problems and issues before kindergarten.

I don't consider the creation of new human life to be a problem, I think it's an amazing wonderful thing.

Kids learn about complicated things over time, not all at once. People who say that their 4 year olds know "all about" sex are absurd. There are somethings about sex that are hard to understand! But my kid can learn a little about where he came from, and how he got started, and grow from there.

Just like he doesn't need to know everything about money, but he can start by learning the basics. That it comes from work. That it's finite, and sometimes you make choices because you can't afford everything. That you can have it in your hand, or you can have it in a bank. That when you write a check they take money out of your bank and put it in someone else's bank.

Totally NP but you people are crazy...as soon as my kids asked about where babies come from I told them - first it was just sperm from the man and egg from a woman becomes an embryo - when they asked more questions - more details. And yes...saying the words "...the man puts his p___ inside the woman's v___ ..." does feel a little strange but the more matter of fact you are about it the better. And it only gets harder to talk about. How are you going to talk to them when they are teenagers and having sex if you can't talk to them about it as kid??? When do you plan to start talking about drugs to them?

Same thing with cancer or any medical issue - tell the truth - start simple and build on. And why not understand a checking account, budget and futures. All of my kids know how to hedge and protect against currency fluctuations Ok maybe not - but they do know the principle.

I am the PP you quoted, and I would include all the things you included on your list. But there are, of course many other things to know about how babies are made. For example, my 4 year old knew that a doctor helped Aunt JoAnne become pregnant, but he did not know the difference between IUI and IVF. He knew that sex was something that both partners needed to say yes to, but there are lots of details about rape that he didn’t know.

Similarly, if my 4 year old could understand everything about finance then we wouldn’t have PHD programs.

I’m currently pregnant and my almost 4 year old has been asking how the baby got into my belly. My husband told her that babies, including herself, come from eggs. Of course, she is now imagining that she came from an egg in one of the cartons from the store....

Anonymous wrote:4 year olds do not have the ability to understand the complexity of creating new humans or the death of humans.

They don’t have the ability to understand checking accounts, the death penalty, abortion, getting a degree, driving a car, etc.

Your explanations are for you, not them. Why force adult problems and issues on a 4 year old? It’s not about their innocent brains, it’s about childhood. Should not their be a few years kids don’t need to deal with such things? If you have money problems, are you going to sit your kid down and explain that you may not have enough money to pay bills? Or your spouse is cheating in you and you have relationship problems?

No wonder mental illness and depression and drinking and drugs are rampant among kids. They are being pushed into adult problems and issues before kindergarten.

Sorry, repeat poster, but I want to say most ADULTS do not understand the complexity of creating human beings. Read the TTC forums and u deranged that most women don’t understand their own cycles, and when fertility is /isn’t.

Look at the number of bankruptcies in the world, and see that most adults don’t understand basic budgets. You don’t have to frame it with YOUR problems, but yes, you should have them understand that they need more money in that is going out.

And yes, if your marriage is about to dissolve, there is no reason not to give a basic reason.

I don’t think drug use and such are the fault of reality. I think part of it is exactly the opposite: parents shielding kids from real life, and then when they get there, they don’t know how to deal with it.

Anonymous wrote:4 year olds do not have the ability to understand the complexity of creating new humans or the death of humans.

They don’t have the ability to understand checking accounts, the death penalty, abortion, getting a degree, driving a car, etc.

Your explanations are for you, not them. Why force adult problems and issues on a 4 year old? It’s not about their innocent brains, it’s about childhood. Should not their be a few years kids don’t need to deal with such things? If you have money problems, are you going to sit your kid down and explain that you may not have enough money to pay bills? Or your spouse is cheating in you and you have relationship problems?

No wonder mental illness and depression and drinking and drugs are rampant among kids. They are being pushed into adult problems and issues before kindergarten.

You’re overthinking this. This is a typically adult problem.

4 year olds understand these things perfectly.

To them, mommy is having a baby. Daddy put the baby there. Grandma is sick, and takes medicine that makes her sick sometimes. Grandpa died last year, because his heart was sick and the doctor couldn’t help. Opa is okay, but has a disease called diabetes and needs to give himself a needle everyday that helps him. He can’t eat too much sugar. As long as he gets his shot, he is healthy and strong. He needed a shot when we were at the park the other day, but that’s okay.

Stop complicated your child with your adult ideas of illness, death, and sex. None of them are that complicated. Seems to me you’ve never actually HEARD a child.

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Anonymous wrote:4 year olds do not have the ability to understand the complexity of creating new humans or the death of humans.

They don’t have the ability to understand checking accounts, the death penalty, abortion, getting a degree, driving a car, etc.

Your explanations are for you, not them. Why force adult problems and issues on a 4 year old? It’s not about their innocent brains, it’s about childhood. Should not their be a few years kids don’t need to deal with such things? If you have money problems, are you going to sit your kid down and explain that you may not have enough money to pay bills? Or your spouse is cheating in you and you have relationship problems?

No wonder mental illness and depression and drinking and drugs are rampant among kids. They are being pushed into adult problems and issues before kindergarten.

I don't consider the creation of new human life to be a problem, I think it's an amazing wonderful thing.

Kids learn about complicated things over time, not all at once. People who say that their 4 year olds know "all about" sex are absurd. There are somethings about sex that are hard to understand! But my kid can learn a little about where he came from, and how he got started, and grow from there.

Just like he doesn't need to know everything about money, but he can start by learning the basics. That it comes from work. That it's finite, and sometimes you make choices because you can't afford everything. That you can have it in your hand, or you can have it in a bank. That when you write a check they take money out of your bank and put it in someone else's bank.

Totally NP but you people are crazy...as soon as my kids asked about where babies come from I told them - first it was just sperm from the man and egg from a woman becomes an embryo - when they asked more questions - more details. And yes...saying the words "...the man puts his p___ inside the woman's v___ ..." does feel a little strange but the more matter of fact you are about it the better. And it only gets harder to talk about. How are you going to talk to them when they are teenagers and having sex if you can't talk to them about it as kid??? When do you plan to start talking about drugs to them?

Same thing with cancer or any medical issue - tell the truth - start simple and build on. And why not understand a checking account, budget and futures. All of my kids know how to hedge and protect against currency fluctuations Ok maybe not - but they do know the principle.

Anonymous wrote:I thought it was a funny way to end the movie. I heard a few groans as we were leaving the theater. You don't have to show them a porn flick. Just give them high level information. What do you tell them when they see a pregnant woman? I'm a teacher, so the amount of misinformation I hear the kids sharing everyday led me to tell my daughter the basics (eggs, sperm, embryo) when she was about six. She's eight now and knows the whole story. Tell your kid when you're ready, but just know that the longer you wait, the more likely they'll find out from someone else.

Same.

I teach 5th grade. Sex Ed starts in 4th grade in our system, but it's pretty basic and geared towards the changing that will be happening. They touch upon all important topics but don't go really in-depth; that part happens during the 5th grade unit.

Here's what happens each year after the unit is over and the kids whose parents didn't want them to participate rejoin the others: "what did you guys do?" "what was said?" "did you see pictures of boobs?" "did they show pictures of naked boys?" "did you learn was a _____ is?" "my brother/sister said..." and I spend the next week trying to get them to refocus and stop talking about it, especially to the kids who were opted out. Kids that age are super curious and full of half information and misinformation. What's worse than having to wrangle them and get them refocused is having to listen to the severely uneducated say things like, "no way it happens like that! My mom said the belly button expands and that's how the baby gets out. She's even got the scar and everything from when I was born!" If your child is 10/11/12 in the 5th grade and still believes that babies come out of expanding belly buttons, YOU HAVE FAILED as a parent. And it takes every ounce of professionalism not to correct or educate that poor kid!

You think it doesn't happen, but it does. Each year I have at least one who doesn't know how babies are made and I have one girl who starts her period and has no idea WTF is happening to her.

I think that's funny and you can always tell your kid the stork brought them to you if it bothers you so much.

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Anonymous wrote:Really, you tell children about cancerous cells and the medical aspects of cancer and the side effects and dying? Nope.

Um, yeah actually. What is the alternative? Lying? Avoid the question? You know that kids sometimes get cancer too. My son lost a schoolmate to a sarcoma two years ago. Of course we talked about what cancer is, and treatments and side effects, and yes, we had a heartbreaking talk about dying.

A 4 year old?

DP, but I’m curious about why you think a 4 year old shouldn’t understand that grandma (or friend) is sick with a disease called cancer? That doctors give her medicine, but sometimes the medicine makes her sick/tired/ etc.

Reading some of these posts, it’s no wonder we have so many adults that cannot deal with life.

Your 4 year old can know cancer is something that makes people very sick, and still have the magic of Santa. These are different things.

Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner.